Without reading other posts, I'll tell you about my experience. I have a 16 year old and an almost 19 year old. The 19 year old is in his first year of college. My 16 year old is a sophomore.
My older son was a tempermental child. Gifted, smart, serious. Difficult, too. His intellect would astound me - in 4th grade he could do math in his head that I had to put pencil to paper to do. He was also SO intense - and he could have meltdowns if something went wrong - like if the gameboy didn't save and he lost his "play" on it. That was awful. The stress of competition was too much for him too sometimes - I learned to pair him and his brother against me during games, instead of him against his brother. He would get so upset about losing that he'd play worse, and the worse he'd play, the more upset he'd get, that kind of thing.
This was so hard on me when he was young.
I just kept trying to get him through things. Being consistent. Understanding that he couldn't deal with big changes. He needed to go to bed at the same time everynight - even up until he got into high school. The teen period of not liking anyone at school was hard, too. Magically, his junior year, all that changed when we moved and he went to a new school. He made tons of friends, blossomed into theatre and musicals, became pretty popular in his circle. And got into a great college.
I am grateful that he "grew out of" his difficult temperment. He talks about his younger teens, saying that it was his "hating everything" period, (he doesn't remember his personality when he was younger) and tells his younger brother to "grow up already" and find something special about school so that he'll have a ton of friends too. (My younger son has friends, but they are different than the theatre crowd.)
I don't agree with the "little people, little problems/big people, big problems" remark. I see it as the problems just are different. My younger son had speech and language issues - severe speech issues because of a submucous cleft palate. That was a huge problem, which could have impacted his future substantially. It was one of the biggest things I worked on to help him overcome it. (Seven years of speech therapy.) The thing is, you have to just keep working through stuff. Each stage is different, and you have to learn how to cope with it. Understanding why your kid is going through what they are going through , and what you have to do to help or mitigate the problem, and be consistent about it, is the hardest job you will have as a parent.
Also learning when to stop being a "helicopter parent" and let them fail at some point, is a hard lesson for both child and parent.
Now I am working on learning how to be the mother of a college student who is 16 hours away. That's new territory for me. Whew!
Dawn