What Is the Most Bogus Parenting Myth You've Ever Heard?

That kids that aren't spanked are unruly spoiled heathens.

SO NOT TRUE.......Iv'e got the evidence in my play room right now.

It's just a phase when referring to behavior issues. What ever! It will continue until you decide you are sick of it and take care of it or it doesn't get the desired affect.

the whole babies sleep 21 hrs a day! Someone forgot to tell my DD that one. She was a cat napper extraordinaire! Honestly if I laid down with her she slept longer. Although by the time I started to sleep she was getting up!

@Riley - she also HATED to be swaddled!

that feeding cereal to a baby will help them sleep. yeah right!

If you hold them too much you are going to spoil them.
I loved on my babies as much as I possibly could and they are turning out just fine :)

ETA: @ Riley ~ my oldest despised swaddling too! Luckily, like you, we figured it out on day 1 :) Every nurse that came into our room would swaddle him and he'd get mad and they would argue with me!! I would un-swaddle him and he'd go right back to sleep.

I'm with Melissa J. on the 'sleeping when the baby sleeps' thing... now granted, I didn't nap everytime baby napped, but in the early days when I was on maternity leave, sure, I dozed off when the baby slept. And in the months after, I'd still take one daily nap with my son... and I NEEDED it. My son didn't sleep through the night (and I mean he was up multiple times a night) until he was 18 months old, so I needed to catch up on sleep. I was a much better mother for taking those naps.

As for the bogus parenting myth, I'd go with 'there is no such thing as a high needs baby.' That babies develop solely based on how they are parented. The kind of mentality that 'if you just did it my way, your baby would be a lot less demanding' kind of thing, makes me want to spit. This kind of mentality usually comes from parents of babies born with even, easy-going temperaments who don't know how blessed/lucky they are, and don't have the perspective to be commenting about another's high needs baby.

You'll know high needs babies exist when you have one.

"It's not your job to raise your step kids, it's mom and dad's job."

I hear that a lot. It absolutely IS my job! We are a parenting team, and while Mom and Dad make all the big decisions, I am certainly an influence in her life. I help raise her just as much as aunts, uncles, grandmas and teachers do! And there are many things I do for her that no one (not her mom or dad) ever do. Thank goodness I never listened to people telling me to step back. We all work together, and that means everyone, including me, stepping UP!

I actually did sleep when the babies slept, as least for the first few weeks. Sure, the house was messier than usual, but we all survived for a few weeks.

What drove me nuts was my mom's insistence that all newborns must have a hat on at all times when outside, no matter if it's 98 degrees out or not, they're probably cold. Come on!! Every pediatrician I spoke with said, well, the baby feels the same temperature outside that you do, so if you need a sweater it's a safe bet your baby does, too, but if you're in shorts & a tank top then your baby likely doesn't need a snow suit on.

LOL... I have yet to come across one that is just bogus, but many that don't work for my son. Doesn't mean it doesn't work for ANYONE'S son... just not mine

#1 Would be "swaddling". My son DESPISED, loathed, abhorred swaddling from hour 1. He was born. He stretched (got the "easiest baby to measure, EVER" award - 23.5 inches, btw), got all the nurses on the floor to come look at him... because he never 'curled back up', and was awake and alert (had total control of his head, made eye contact with people 5 feet away, etc.). Putting him in a swaddle, however, and he screamed and screamed and screamed. #1 way for and UNhappy/ nonsleeping baby on day 1, week 1, month 1 (sitter tried), was to try to confine his arms and legs.

So that's our most bogus myth that "babies love swaddling/ feel more secure"... but I bet it was pure gold for other parents!

Pick them up whenever they cry/offer them the breast every time they cry. Tried that with child #1 and it was a disaster. To this day (she's turning 9), sometimes she just NEEDS a good cry (don't we all?) - it's how she gets rid of tension, and the way that feels best to her to cope with certain feelings. It took me a year to learn that just because she is crying, she doesn't necessarily need me to "fix it" for her. She has always been super independent and it pissed her off even more to have someone shushing her and telling her it was going to be okay, shoving the boob in her face, etc. She was crying because she felt like it and wanted to! Once I understood that, she was a much happier kid. (And things went way better with child #2, so I think maybe I just have kids who need to be left to their own devices occasionally!)

Breastmilk is not very nourishing for the baby. Yes, Yes I had it not 1,2 but a few people say that to me when my baby was 5 months old and was exclusively breastfeeding. Yes, they all belonged to my parent's generation. Glad I didn't listen to them.

I've heard - for real- "crying exercises their lungs." WHA..?!?!? So athletes sit around crying to get ready for an endurance run?

TV stimulates their brains.

You can teach a baby to self-soothe. No, you can give them opportunities to try it, but like crawling, you can't teach it to a baby. They'll get it in time, given the opportunity.

It's the parent's fault if the baby doesn't sleep through the night. I have twins, so I know they were raised in the exact same environment, with the same response to their needs. One STTN, the other wakes 1-2 times to nurse (at 6 months). What works for one, doesn't always work for another baby.

that.

Going outside with wet hair or no coat will make you sick.

Some people suggested that we let our baby cry it out.... I never did that, I ALWAYS picked up my baby and cuddled him :) and I am so happy that I did.... I never consider it a bad thing when a baby wants to be held.. I adore my son and gotta say, I miss those very late evenings and early mornings when he might begin to cry and I would go and hold him.. SIGH...... melts my heart thinking about holding him.. chubby , squishy legs... what a gem he is...

That there is no way your child can have a bad reaction to teething. I honestly heard a pediatrician say that. Last time I ever went to that doctor's office!!

Yeah, the "sleep when the baby sleeps" was a really, really awful one. Our oldest napped in five minute increments as a baby. It was a nightmare. I'd have to mad-dash around the house to get things done in those precious five minutes. I wanted to kick the person who came up with that saying.

"Sounds like a typical boy to me" was the other one that was a major fail. Our oldest has ADHD, OCD and a host of other co-morbid conditions. I hated when people would say, "Oh, that's just a usual boy thing to do." It wasn't. I would look at other parents' boys and think they were on sedatives compared to our destructive Energizer Bunny son. It came across as condescending when our son ultimately did have really difficult medical conditions.

ETA: Ditto JL. I have a non-eater, too. We live parallel lives, JL!

my mother in law was pretty judgmental about my kids not sleeping through the night by the time they were 3 months old (my son was 18 months old and my daughter is 11 months and has a handful of times). She always tells me, "you know, she really should be sleeping through the night by now". Last week I finally commented back "yeah, i keep telling her that but this damn baby won't listen to me!"

My baby also gets confused for a boy a lot, and it doesn't bother me AT ALL. Most babies are androgenous looking, and she does look like a little clone of her brother since she doesn't have much hair yet. One time a lady told me what "handsome little men" i have, and i just giggled a little and said "Well my baby GIRL is pretty handsome, eh?". This woman got so pissed at me and started telling me I was wrong and cruel for not putting bows on her head and not having her head to toe in pink (she was wearing red...leggings and a fluffy tunic, not girly enough?). She told me it was my job to make sure my children recognized and embraced their own gender roles from the beginning of their lives. All in all, i think she was just embarrassed and couldn't just laugh it off with me :)

"Just let your baby cry it out." Cry what out exactly? Ignoring a need doesn't make it magically disapear! "Don't ever rock your baby to sleep." I'm surprised at how many "experts" say this, I love rocking my babies to sleep! What is the point of having a baby if you are not going to cuddle and rock him or her? And no, my well-loved babies have not grown to be spoiled or clingy, they are very independent and confident! "If you let your baby (fill in the blank; have a paci, nurse on demand, co-sleep, ride in a sling, etc.) they will still be doing it when they are (pick an age, 2, 7, 18, etc.)" Total bull! Have you EVER met an 18 year old that still wants to have a paci or sleep in bed with mommy and daddy? Of course not!

Sleep when the baby is sleeping

Let them cry it out

They will eat when they are hungry

No fever in teething....seriously who thought of that one!

Babies get cold before you do so bundle them up

God made dirt and dirt dont hurt...ewww gross!

1. Just wait until ____________.

2. You think THAT's hard? You're in for it.

3. There's one right way and that's my way.

For example, 1. when pregnant I was miserable. People said, just wait until you have a baby. Then you'll be in for it! Nope. My experience was different. Having a newborn was easy for me. It was a very simple sweet time for ME. There was a big difference between having a person growing inside of me and a person outside my body who was dependent on my body. My daughter was born during a hot summer. We'd lay in bed, doze, she'd breastfeed, and I was just in LOVE. It was magical. I wasn't raising other children at the time, so I DID sleep when she slept ;-) I bathed at the same time too. I also had time (and hormonal drive!) to do necessarily chores and I gave myself slack. MMMMM. I love the hormones associated with postpartum (that's NOT the case for everyone). Likewise, some people really love being pregnant. I did not. Same goes for every age. We do really well with some things. We find other phases more challenging. That looks different for different people. That, and the anticipation of a difficult phase does not help me gain tools and peace during present time difficulty!

2. Same thing. We've just hit the challenging threes with our daughter. Sure, there have been challenges and will be challenges up the road. That's life. However, present moment is present moment. This is challenging (and awesome) for me. This is where we are today. I am learning, we are learning, and it is what it is. It's okay. We'll cross other bridges when they're actually in front of us. Right now, we're where we are, and it's okay for me to have frustrations and inadequacies. Parenting is a process, not a destination. Teenage years ahead (where we aren't YET) don't make toddler years any less challenging or awesome. Each age, each phase, each challenge comes with it's own set of lessons, blessings, and hardships.

3. Take sleep methods. What works, when it works, and for what family/child, is different. We get into these battles. NO co-sleeping is the best. NO cry it out is the best. NO schedules are the best. NO NO NO!

Wait a second...each has disadvantages and advantages. What works for me might not work for you and vice versa. Many paths. We have to find our own.

For me it was the concept of Nipple Confusion. Both my kids were both breast and bottle fed, switching back and forth, and never had any issue with either one.

Sleeping when the baby sleeps is one that didn't work for me at all. I am not a napper and if I do nap it literally takes me an hour to fall asleep. No go. Besides, my first only napped in the car and only while it was moving.

First DS loved being swaddled, 2nd always needed his arms out. To each their own, I say

I'm with you on the sleep when they sleep. Whoever came up with that one has clearly never had kids...and definatly not twins!

I agree with you on the sleep while the baby sleeps. Everytime I would try, by the time I would fall asleep the baby would wake up not long after and I would end up even more tired and crabby, so I gave up on that one. I also agree on the "terrible 2's" I miss my son being 2, that was probably the easiest year ever, 3 so far is TERRIBLE!!!!!!!

give a teething child a piece of fried bacon rind as a teether. OMG, I almost fell over on the spot.....talk about hoosierville! How about if we just cut up a shoe & hand it over? !! :)

How funny!! I did sleep when Greg slept!!! :) I didn't have a ton of clutter then...now?! OH HECK NO!!! :)

HHHHMMMM....

picking them up all the time will spoil them...yeah - right.

I didn't hear the swaddling one....

Someone told me about the paci thing - that it would ruin their teeth...Greg was a self-soother and NEVER used a paci...still had teeth problems...Nicky? holy smokes!! didn't get rid of his paci until he was 6 and he STILL has an oral fixation (chews on fingernails and sucks on his fingers!!)

I'm sure there are more - but I have the kids screaming at me to go to the pool!!!

I'll go ahead and admit that I always recommend new moms to sleep when the baby sleeps *if they can*. It always works for me, even when I had my second baby. I just got lucky and often times the baby, my 3 yr. old and I could all sleep at the same exact time. It was bliss even if I could only steal 30 minutes or so. Totally worth it....the husband can help with the laundry and housework! So I wouldn't call that totally bogus....maybe just not possible for everyone.