I don't understand men sometimes. I'm a little ticked at him right now. Little background. I started a healthy chocolate business about a year ago. I'm sharing this, people like it and almost breaking even in my business. Without much effort because of time. Now my husband whom thinks its great that I've lost weight and have great energy from chocolate but doesn't want me close to the business part of it. He sent out an e-mail to me and 4 other moms on this raw cocoa product that to me is a threat to my business(compeditor) inviting us to learn about this. Then he piles on more for us to do, the more I try to do with this businesss. I just feel like as soon as I get to steps forward he pushes me back. I believe I can make alot of money with this, but feel beaten down by the battle from home. In August this company will be reaching mometum and will have a harder time making anything. We have a 300% growth rate right now and I'm not able to do much.
I need some wise words before I give up on one or the other. How have these women made it in these businesses from home?
I'm just frustrated any suggestions?
Thanks you for all the responses. I was able to find sometime to sit down and talk to him. His thoughts that he liked what the other company had to offer and didn't think about it being a like what I had. As for loading me with more we have come to terms. He is willing to help out to get things done and let me have some time to make calls and grow my business. Thanks for letting me vent before talking to him. It was better for the both of us.
Sounds like he may be a bit jealous or can't stand a woman donig better than him career wise.
Maybe talk to him or help him not feel so insecure. Alot of guys will freak thinking if you do great with your buisness you will have the means and funds to leave him.
Have you asked him? I would explain to him (calmly) how important your business is to you, how his actions have been bothering and confusing you and ask him why he's doing it. Men can be pretty clueless sometimes and although he might feel threatened as several posters have suggested it could also be that he's just clueless about the effect of his actions and how much wives/mothers really do to take care of the house and family. Good luck with your husband and the business.
I saw similar behaviors from my now ex-husband. The whole time (spread out over 7 years) I pursued a Masters degree (while working full time and doing more than my share of household chores and assisting with raising his two kids) he would say he was supportive, but act resentful and angry about the time I spent at class and doing homework. He also acted this way if I wanted to spend time with family or friends. Ten years after I got the degree, I started working on a PhD. Again, he was very verbally supportive of the idea, but angry and resentful about the time I spent doing the work (still working full time while he was unemployed, doing most of the housework, and now raising our 2-year-old). There were several reasons I divorced him after 17 years of marriage, but this was one of them. Every time I had a paper due, he would repeatedly come to my office door and interupt me for no reason...or to request sex... (we had a very active sex life, so my ignoring his needs was not the issue).
I don't think he consciously thought through his response to my attention being taken up by other activities and goals, but was reacting to his insecurities that I was making myself "better" than him. We didn't talk about this openly until after the divorce, and we have now been able to talk about all our issues with more honesty. Talking about this openly is the only advice I can give. He may not realize how his actions are affecting you, or where they are coming from. Good luck!
I guess I am not understanding if he is in the business with you or it is you and some other mom's business together. If he isn't part of the business, treat it like you would with any job. If he wants you to do something else when you need to be working tell him "sorry, I am working" after all he would tell you that too. It does sound like a control thing that he is afraid that perhaps you will be too indepentent. If he is in the business with you, you need to sit down with him and make a work sheet on who is in charge of what.
Good luck.
He very well could be trying to sabotage your business because he feels threatened. You've lost weight, and are becoming successful. Two very scary things to a man who is insecure. If you are also spending less quality time with him since these 2 things have come about, he could feel like his marriage is in jeopardy, and the only way to get you "back" is to sabotage you. Take an honest look at your marriage, and ask yourself it you've put him on the back burner.
On the flip side, he could just be acting like a thoughtless bonehead, without any ulterior motives. It could be that he doesn't realize this business is important to you, and considers it to be just a hobby that you'll get tired of.
I would sit him down and talk about this, calmly, and find out which it is. If he feels threatened, take steps to make sure he knows that success and confidence are a wonderful thing for your marriage, and not a threat. If he's just being thoughtless, call him on it.
I agree totally with the other posters. It sounds like your husband is threatened by how great your company is doing. I also work at home (I own an editing business); I don't make a lot of money (lots of time reading and editing books, not much pay) and couldn't begin to touch my husband's salary. Of course, he'd love for me to bring more money in; we're working on it (I have deliberately NOT saddled myself with loads of editing jobs because part of our deal was that I would also have time to do my own writing and hopefully publish).
First, find out if he's feeling threatened or, as one mom said, if he's just being a bonehead. If he's threatened, then you'll need to figure out if your having a successful business is something he can live with and support. If not...then you have some serious thinking to do. If owning your own business and being an entrepreuner is something you find yourself loving (I love it!), and you're making good money (which is sounds like sales are phenomenal), if it were me, with the economy like it currently is, I'd for sure keep the business. But that's just me. ;)
Sounds like some passive aggressive behavior, which is certainly not unique to men. The healthy communication paths have broken down in your marriage. Relationship coaching would be very helpful in giving you both a safe place to relearn how to listen to each other effectively. I have the name of a really good person, PM me if you want it.
