C.T.
Hi J. - Sounds like you are having a really hard time - it sounds like your whole family is having a really hard time. Talking with a counselor is a VERY good idea to help you work through your loss and the sources of the anger you are feeling. If the meds arent really working, it means that you have things that you need to work out emotionally.
Anger is a natural part of the grief process but all of us need to make sure that our anger is directed at the right place and not toward the innocent.
I've been in a similar situation and I remember how angry I felt because it all seemed so unfair. It wasnt fair that my mom wasnt there to take care of me. It wasnt fair that my pregnancy was so hard when all my friends had it so easy. It wasnt fair that I got Bells Palsy and looked so awful. It wasnt fair that people around me didnt understand how painful and hard it was for me.
Please trust me, I get it. I've lived it. It's okay if you're mad that your life simply sucks right now. It's just not okay to take it out on anyone in range. This is hard to hear but it sounds like you've been pretty hard to live with and to be around. No one wants to have to "walk on eggshells" all the time or sit around and be bashed by someone else's tiffs and tantrums. It's something that you need to take personal responsibility for and apologize for. That was the first step I had to take in order to reign in my constant irritation. I encourage you to pray alot. God can handle your anger and He can help heal your hurt.
I wish you all the best - you and your family!