The reason is bc of worries about discrimination at work. Her figure allows for her to hide it, but I am wondering how long is too long and people will find it bizarre once she announces so late or is this something u have heard of?
What discrimination? She can do all of the same things pregnant.
The problem she faces is, dishonesty in pregnancy means her superiors will not know, and then suddenly as they are anticipating her presence, she will need to announce her leave. So what does she get from hiding? Is it worth what she will lose when someone finds out they haven't had the adequate amount of time needed to cover her while she is gone?
Yes. I once new a woman who waited till she delivered to even say anything. She knew she would be let go if she announced it an earlier. The company was well known for finding other reasons to terminate employment or have "lay offs".
I have been instructed by HR professionals that you should tell HR immediately. It is up to you when to tell your supervisor, etc.
Some of the reasons to tell HR is to help set up leave time AND to help circumvent any unfair/unlawful practices, for example if she tells HR now. Fast forward three months, she tell supervisor and then there he/she claims the employee has been doing a bad job for four months, HR can ask why it is just now being brought up, etc. and they know/knew the reasons behind the boss' actions.
does that make sense?
I would wonder why she trying so hard to hide it. Like you said, it will be bizarre when she finally tells and she is that far along.
However, if she is insured with the company, the HR already knows because they get the EOB's and info from the insurance company. She may "think" she's fooling people but she's not.
It would make me wonder what else she hides.
I've heard of someone waiting until they were 4.5 months along.
In an environment where this person is not exposed to hazards, they should give enough time to ensure that their postion will be covered while they are away. Announcing no later than 5 months would be fine.
Discriminatory practices should be reported to HR.
Actually, I was able to 'hide' my entire pregnancy from a co-worker. He saw me when I returned from leave (8 weeks out) and asked where I'd been. He apparently thought I had just packed on a lot of pounds and didn't want to offend me.
I have a relative that didn't hated doctors and didn't realize until she was 32+ weeks pregnant that she was pregnant. She had been told that she couldn't have kids. She thought she had a tumor or something. Surprise!
You can not be discriminated against for pregnancy. There are work laws and protections. She should tell her bosses now.
I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 22 weeks along. No symptoms, did not show or gain weight until the 6th month, after I found out. Clothes were a little tight and I felt a kick that I though was gas, and lo and behold, definitely not gas! I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant(Ovarian failure/early menopause) so it did not occur to me until I went to get a regular check up and the doc said, " I believe you are at least 5 months along!" Shocker!! It happens.
With my first pregnancy I didn't tell my co-workers until I was about 18 weeks but not because of discrimination at work. I had a very high risk pregnancy and did tell my boss when I was about 12 weeks. He had no issues and just asked to keep him updated and let him know when I needed to stop working. I didn't tell certain people in my life of my second pregnancy until I was about 20-24 weeks but not because of work. My second was just as high risk if not worse. I had a 30% chance increase of miscarriage and didn't want to have to explain to anyone if I did. My husband and I are very private people and wanted to make sure we made it to viability. People were a bit surprised that we kept is a secret so long but I think were understanding considering the circumstances.
I didn't look pregnant until month 8 because I was already fat.
Actually, I did not find out myself until I was almost 12 weeks with my son. We had a a few scares at first so I told no one. We told our older kids on the 4th of July when I was about 21 weeks, told my mom at around 24 weeks and I didn't say anything at work until about 28 weeks--with the exception of 1 coworker. I am not one that gets huge or anything and really only show up front. My job is not one that they would be totally lost and it's a desk job so no issue there. Shuffle things around and it gets done. I just made sure really important stuff was relayed to the right people.
She should tell at least HR immediately. This could actually prevent discrimination. If she does not say anything and they decide to let her go, she has no recourse. If she does tell them and then they let her go shortly after that, if they do not have a good enough reason she may have a case. It is in her best interest to tell them as soon as possible.
It is also the right thing to do so they can plan for her to be out if she is covered under FMLA. That is a big one. If she is not covered under FMLA she could have issues.
I was originally going to place my son for adoption, so I didn't announce my pregnancy at work. It was more of a birth announcement, since my boss announced my son's birth while I was in the hospital. I kept the pregnancy hidden until about 7 months and then people started suspecting things. A couple of coworkers I was closer to flat out asked me and I told them. I told my boss about a month before I delivered. I found out later that I didn't do as good of a job hiding it as I thought. By the time I was about to deliver, pretty much everyone knew (or at least strongly suspected), but no one really talked to me about it. I had a great group of coworkers, so when I got back it wasn't awkward. My family found out after the birth too. Now, that was awkward!
With my last one I only told close family and friends, acquaintance were very surprised when I showed up with a baby.
I don't gain weight though, I loose on average 20+ pounds with each pregnancy, and I'm always being told that I don't look pregnant. so I tested the theory...guess I really don't look it.
I hid my pregnancy from my In-laws for nearly seven months. I just wasn't in the mood to hear what they may say. Our youngest is our sixth child. The two children before her died before birth. Theresa died at 31 weeks and Joseph at 16. Some of the comments after their deaths were just to hard to take and should this child also die, I am not sure I would have been able to be nice should they have continued. The pregnancy was a difficult one and stress was something I was supposed to avoid. I figured the easiest way to avoid it was to just not tell them. My 6 year old daughter let it slip to grandpa around thanksgiving time and our youngest was born February 2nd. I guess I wouldn't judge why someone was hiding the pregnancy. I would just be excited for a new baby to be born.
I had a friend announce her pregnancy at 8 1/2 mos. Another friend of mine had a cousin that just had the baby as her announcement, even from family. AS you can imagine, they were completely stunned.
A coworker told me when she was about 3 weeks away from her due date. WOW! I was clueless! Granted, I didn't see her that often, more in passing, but I was SHOCKED. There was NO WAY I could have hidden it. I was HUGE by 8 months!!!
She isn't a very big woman either. Kind of stocky, but not heavy by any means. Just carried in a way that it didn't show much. Once she told me, I could see it (she did wear alot of layered clothing as well.... a shirt with a button shirt over it) but still would have never guessed she was that far along. She could have totally been on " I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" by her figure alone!!!!
During my senior year of high school, I didn't know that one of my classmates and softball teammates was pregnant. Not wanting to get kicked out of school for being pregnant, she hid it during the entire softball season, by pretending to have a leg injury that kept her (one of the best athletes in the state) from playing. Our coach was so frustrated with her not being able to play. I was also injured, so she and I sat the bench together during the entire season. Our season ended in late May, and she delivered a healthy baby boy the 2rd week of June.
eta: I am currently 14.5 wks pregnant, but I've lost 8 lbs since getting pregnant. I imagine that if I hadn't already told some people I could hide it until almost the 3rd trimester.
