My children are currently 4 and 2 years old. We have had several changes regarding childcare in the past year and the most recent change was the hiring of a nanny last month. When the decision was made, both parties were committed to this arrangement (assuming no issues) atleast until the end of May. My plan at the time (because we were in a desperate situation) was that we would get through this school year (my oldest attends part-time preschool) and look to put the kids in a daycare center during the summer. I have researched and interviewed centers and have found one that I like. My question now is "what is best for both of my kids?", staying at home with a nanny or going to a daycare center. For my 4 year old, he would either go to preschool 4 mornings a week (nanny) or be in a preschool program at daycare 5 days a week. For my 2 year old, she would be home without her brother 4 mornings a week and napping in the afternoons when he is home (nanny) or at a daycare center 5 days a week. My initial thoughts were trying to do what is best for my 4 year old in preparation for kindergarten (educationally and socially) but now that I really think about it, I am thinking either option would probably be good for him. I also initially thought that I would prefer my daughter to be older than 2.5 years before she went to daycare but now thinking of her not having any other kids around, I am beginning to wonder. What are your thoughts? What have other mom's done in this situation?
EDIT - Thank you all for the responses so far. I would like to add that I am well aware of the general pros and cons of a nanny versus a daycare center (i.e. one provider v. several, sick policy, etc.). Excluding the factors of having to deal with emergency care, sick children, being comfortable with the nanny or the daycare, etc., with children that would be 4.5 and 2.5, what have people found to be best for their children?
There are so many benefits to both! It's a tough decision. I was a nanny for years and the plus side to having me, was the one-on-one attention the children received. It wasn't an issue if they were sick, I took care of them in the comfort of their own home. But, finding a GOOD nanny is damn near impossible these days. I do agree with some of the responses that maybe daycare would be a better option in many ways.
Good luck!
I have been a nanny and have put my own child in daycare at one point. As a "nanny" and as a parent I would say that a nanny is a more stable, personal situation for your kids - your house, their beds, etc. It's a great "second" to having Mom or Dad there. At daycare you have no control over the turnover, dealing with other kids, etc. Not to mention that kids share all kinds of germs and your child will be sick a lot...it either happens now or when they enter preschool/grade school. And our ped even said, better when they enter school age as they can deal with it better and are better able to physically fight illness. Besides, if you do "daycare" any time your kids are sick (fever, vomiting, etc.) YOU or DH will have to stay home with them as they are not allowed at daycare or preschool.
I think as long as your older child is already going to attend a preschool program he will get the socialization and education that a daycare preschool could provide.
If you were saying EITHER daycare w/preschool or home all day with a Nanny, my view would be different. Since your child is already going to preschool and getting those critical exposures to a school environment anyway, I highly suggest sticking with the nanny. Esp if you feel this is a reliable person who follows your rules/expectations. Good nannies are hard to come by. (Just CYA and have a backup plan in case your nanny ever is sick or bails on you. At that point, you could reconsider daycare.)
Best wishes.
I have a 4.5 year old in pre-school and a 2.5 year old and I've tried both. For us, a nanny has been the way to go. As other posters have said the biggest problem is finding a good one. Take your time and get references and be prepared to have a "trial period" in which you are ready to let her go if need be. We have had a couple of wonderful nannies my kids absolutely love. My 4.5 year old liked daycare the short time she was in it but the drawbacks were just to big. And as far as socialization....kids don't need to be stuck in a room with 12 other kids to be "socialized". The idea of that is totally ludicrous. Day-care is a completely modern invention yet somehow children in the past weren't a bunch of socially inept introverts. We are very active and have a lot of friends and my kids do get sick but never the serious stuff I see so many kids getting. No matter which you go with just take your time choosing, do a lot of research, and don't get too comfortable. Always stay on top of childcare providers to make sure your kids are getting what they need.
Depends on your nanny.
We've had one for 3 years, and my kids are WELL socialized. They're at the playground or at playdates (that the nanny sets up, BTW) every single day.
My oldest has a little network of friends that I only hear about.
My nanny hates being stuck in the house, so she's out with them all day everyday, even if they just go to Target and walk around. That's her personality. And we love her!!!
I'm always for nanny over daycare. You have of flexilibity and a stable environment for your kids to be in each day. Plus, she does light cleaning and the kids laundry. :)
Socially I think Daycare is great for kids. Plus it gets them out of the house, use to other adults and sharing/interacting with other kids. The chances of a nanny having an activity planned for every hour of every day is slim. We have done both and daycare at the end of the days really seemed best for us and for the kids. They LOVE to get out and see their friends and to bring home their work to show us.
If your younger child still naps, please do yourself a favor and check into the "nap" situation at the daycare. You might end up with an environment that is not conducive to napping, have the child give them up early and have a VERY crabby child at home with you ever night. Believe me--it happened to us!
We have an au pair now and have for 2 years. It was the greatest decision ever. We still send our elder kid to PreK a few days a week, younger kid gets to nap (and older one too on days she is home) -- my kids are 3.5 and 2.5. Baby on the way. We will be sticking with this arrangement for the next few years because it has been a God-send.
IMO - Nanny.
I'm not sure what exactly your concerns are. If I'm understanding correctly it's that you 2.5 yo will not have social interation with other children. If that's the concern, she could attend a preschool when she is 3 or 4 for a few hours a week. The nanny could take her places like the library or park, or a more formalized program. You could have play dates on the weekends when your home.
I completely understand your situation having gone through it myself. We ended up finding a person in the next town that watches kids from her home. She's been doing it for approx. 20 years (yet, she's in her mid-late 40's). It's a middle ground for us ~ not a big day care setting, but not a nanny for just my kids. She only watches a few kids during the day (some get on/off the bus at the house and are only there for a little bit), takes 1 baby at a time, the kids get socialization skills, she plays learning games with them (so they learn things like letters, numbers, shapes, colors, etc.), and so much more. I don't know if this is an option for you or if I've made things more complicated. I'm sure you knew this was another option, just wanted to let you know what works for us. Good luck!
to be honest no one can tell you what is best it is what you are comfortable with. Would you feel better having them home with the Nanny or at a daycare I is you that has to live with the choice everyday. the social aspects of daycare or good but also home with a nanny playing at the park or going to play dates is good too. It is just up to you what feels better in your gut
The problem with nannies or in-home daycares is that you have one care giver (which is great except for the following). If that caregiver has a personal or family emergency or is sick, you are scrambling. Add that to your family emergencies or illnesses and that adds a lot of missed time from work. Additionally, you have to really trust someone left alone with your child. There is less chance of things going unwitnessed in a center.
I would get through this school year and maybe the summer with the nanny. Then make the switch to the daycare.
Sounds like, especially after your edit comment, that you are leaning towards day care. In my opinion, the biggest con of day care is the sick stuff. But I stay home now, and my kids still get stuff just from storytime at the library anyway. Go for it. I've had good experiences with my kids in day care.
The daycare setting will give your kids more social interaction. However, since your kids have been at home if they start at a daycare, they WILL get sick alot. This is just how it is. This is both good and bad. Kids that stay at home solely before going to pre-school or K miss more school in the beginning because they are with more kids with more germs. Kids that have been in a daycare setting tend to get it out of their system at a younger age.
For now, with the nanny, when your child is sick, they probably just stay with the nanny, and you don't have to miss much work. However, if they are in a daycare setting and get sick, they will have to stay home until better for at least 24h.
So really the question comes down to one of work and if you can take the needed time off for when your kids are sick.
My vote is for the daycare and the interaction.
M.
My son has always been with a sitter at her house since he was 9 weeks old. He gets bussed from school to her house every day after school. Since he has special needs, he can be picked up or dropped off any where in the school district. My sitter doesn't drive. I think its better not to be in daycare. Daycare is more expensive. Send your son to preschool so I vote for nanny.
Hi, I would say a nanny is best if you can find a good one. That worked for us and our 2 boys are 5 and 6. Our nanny takes them to the park, museum, swimming, walking , to the YMCA to play basketball, to her house to play with her dog and cat, Makes cookies and cupcakes, Holiday chocolates and dinner with them and do stuff that they want to do. Awesome! In my opinion it keeps them grounded and secure in their own space. Ofcourse my kids go to school now so its only part time. Like other moms have said, be prepared to let her go if it does not seem to be a good ft, but I assure you your good fit is out there. Our very brief encounter with day cares was not very good. I just dont like the idea of my kids sleeping on a cot somewhere with other kids lying around. I know you will make the best decision for your kiddos! Good luck!
