What Is a Fair Curfew for a 17 Year Old?

Updated on June 09, 2011
J.S. asks from Wheaton, IL
8 answers

I’m looking for some advice. We had these rules in place for our daughter till she graduated high school. Our son is 17 now and he’s faced with the same rules, however he’s challenging our curfew rules. I would like to hear other people’s opinions as to what they think about my curfew rules. Do you think they’re fair or too strict?

My son doesn’t play sports or participate in anything that takes up his free time outside of working 20-25 hours a week and school.
Sunday through Thursday, the curfew is as follows: He as 12 hours to distribute throughout the week however he wants. He can only be away from the house 6 hours at most, unless he has a special activity scheduled, which might exceed 6 hours. Or when he goes out, he can break up his time more. We’re doing this because we want to make sure he has time during the school week to do homework, chores, and practice his guitar.

Friday and Saturday he gets another 12 hours to split up however he wants. The 6 hour rule still is in place. Again, if he has something planned, besides just hanging out; we might make an exception and allow him to stay out past 6 hours.
Now during the summer when he has no school, the only curfew from us is the 6 hour rule, but he can stay out up to 6 hours every day.

He dose also have to abide by the curfew laws of Dupage County.

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

I would have a time he has to be home by like 10pm weekdays and 11pm on weekends. With the knowledge that when there is a family event he is expected to be home, you are to know if he will or not be home for certain meals, you must know of his location and be able to get in touch with him at all times, if work/homework/school/family suffer these times are subject to change. I assume he will be a senior this coming year and will need to plan for life post grad so he will need to start to handle himself with your ability to step in. This is the year to help him to know how to handle freedom so he doesn't fall flat on his face when it counts most and your not there to pick up the pieces.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Your curfew rules are primary: but of course call the police department and make sure he isn't out too late.
He is a boy. I have two sons. If I said come home at 2 a.m. they would have insisted on 4. If I said stay out three hours, they would want five. They are built that way. They are warriors!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Chicago on

I think your rules are very generous!

1 mom found this helpful
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H.S.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with Amanda, it confuses me and trying to keep track. I was a good kid and so as a teenager my curfew was whatever the town had (11 p.m. Sun-Thurs and 12 on Fri-Sat). They trusted me to get all of my work done and I did. I also worked about 20 hrs a week and did no after school activities.

Is your son not responsible enough to take care of his work? Is he unwilling to come home at a reasonable time? It sounds like he is responsible since he works 20-25 hrs a week and goes to school. Maybe you could try a test run to see how he does with more freedom.

H.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

You're asking for trouble by placing so many restrictions around curfew. It should be, on weekdays, be in by this time. On weekends, this time. Call when you're running late, let him know that you still need to know who he is with and where they are going. All of this is dependent upon whether he completes his household responsibilities of course and it's less for you to manage.

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R.M.

answers from Chicago on

For a 17 year old during the summer, his curfew should be 10pm on weekdays and 11pm on weekends.

P.S. I don't agree with the "you get X amount of hours to be out for the week". That seems kind of weird. At this age it's normal for them to want to be with friends a lot. If he's a good kid he should just get a curfew, especially since he's almost a legal adult.

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N.

answers from Chicago on

Does seem a little like a pet being allowed play time. As another mom asked I would also like to know who's keeping track of these hours, it seems like a lot of work for very little freedom. As long as your son is responsible; school, work, chores I think he should be allowed to abide by a return of a set hour, say 10pm school nights, 11pm weekends. When the chores, schoolwork start to slip then that is when you would impose a schedule.

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A.P.

answers from Chicago on

I'm no math wizz, but that confuses me. Do you keep track of how long he is out of the house each night so he doesn't go over his hours? I always had a specific time to be home...like 9 or 10pm on school nights and like midnight on the week ends when I was in H.S

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