What Happened??? - Broomfield,CO

D., I would continue to send short e-mails. As you know from losing your parents, it is very difficult. I am recently widowed and I don't return phone calls or cards or half the time e-mails. It's not that I don't want too, I just don't do it. Sometimes, I just feel like the minute I start to speak, I will start crying for nothing. So, I just avoid people. That is just me, right now, anyway. Maybe, she is receiving everything and just isn't ready to respond, but appreciates you thinking of her. At some point, you might just might ask her if you are bothering her. If she doesn't respond, I would stop. Just a thought.

I just really believe that she is still grieving the loss of her mother and I agree to send short emails every once in awhile. I don't think she is pissed off in any way. She said the gift card was a gift and I would leave it at that. Hang in there. You know the loss of a parent and it effects everyone differently. I myself lost my mother 5 days before my first child was born and I wanted people around and I think the opposite happened to me. Everyone stayed away thinking I need the time for my newborn and to grieve on my own. I got a grieve counselor and it was the best thing for me and my family. Just my 2 cents. Good luck and let us know what happens.

It is hard to say what happened since she isn't responding. As you know grief is a funny thing. Just send a card every so often and hope she will reply. She might not know what to do and she might be hurting more than she is saying.
C. B

I am not sure! I would send her a nice email and let her decide what she wants to do. You have tried everything and if she wants to shut you out, then it is her loss. You never know with parents passing she may just be in a bind right now and does not have the time to write. Hang in there. Write an email and see what comes about it. I would not mention the 200 dollars because it sounds like it was a gift. If you can at any time pay it back then she knows you would. Take it as a nice jesture. I would also not mention her loss. She may still be in a grievment period and not want to talk about it. Just write it as a friend wanting to keep in touch and offer to get together again. If she never replies then I guess you have an answer (as hard as it may be). If she responds then she will give an explination for her not getting back to you and leave the ball in her court. You have done everything you could right now. Good Luck!!!

J. S

Dear D.,
I too would think she is having a time of grief.
Why don't you go and see her? You don't live far away. Be prepared if she isn't warm and welcoming, but sometimes it's just best to show up.

I was taking care of an older gentleman in my community for home health. I was out of state when he passed away and I didn't even know he had died. Without calling first I went to his home to see his wife yesterday with my kids. It was great. My friend was very sad about her husband, but it was a neat to spend time together with her. We were able to talk and laugh a lot. It was great to see pictures of her husband.

Sometimes we stay away, when it's best to "just go".
Think about it and if you do go, be prepared for which ever way she reacts. Remember people react differently in grief. You might be just what she needs and if she is upset with you - you probably could work it out.

Best to You,
H. B

I would send her a hand written letter or a card, saying you just wanted to check on her and see how she has been doing. Maybe, for some reason, she hasn't gotten your emails...maybe they are going to her spam folder or something, and she doesn't know you've written. I wouldn't worry about the gift card or any of that--I don't think that has anything to do with it.