What Do You Think? Is Mom to Blame?

I took cabs a a child and also the public bus. Big deal.

Updated

On second thought,
Who are you to judge these people? They probably have troubles and
problems to solve that many of us have never even thought of.

I'm from New York City and live in Los Angeles now. It is normal practice in New York for kids to take cabs to school or to see relatives. I also see cabs in LA picking up kids at their homes to go to school. Most cabbies will not expect a child to pay and will get payment from the adult at the pick up or drop off point - especially if they already have an arrangement. Many of the kids in New York who take cabs also take the public bus or subway. It's a normal way of life for them. The cabbie was at fault for dropping a kid on the street.

Ok, I agree that I would never put my 7 year old in a cab alone; however, I asked my hubby who is from New York - Queens specifically. He told me that when he was a child growing up in NY cab rides to friend's houses, relatives etc was the norm. It was either that or the subway (knowing very little about NY or public transportation I would put my money into the cab anyday!!). Most people didn't have cars in the city so public transportation was the only way. He also said that the cab driver was probably trying to "shake down" the kid for more money since you don't have to have money to ride in the cab you just have to have money at the end of the ride. Which I would expect that the mom/grandmom would have paid once the child arrived (especially since this was pre-arranged). Would be interesting to hear if times have changed in NY since my husband was there since he said he and friends rode in cabs a lot as boys. This story makes me think that maybe things haven't changed too much....

Sorry, I can't jump on the "bash mom" bandwagon. Given the situation: ie the kid has probably ridden in a cab at least twice a week since birth, most likely the same route going back and forth, the parents did what worked for them in the situation. The cabbie made a horrendous choice. There was most likely a person waiting at the other end to pay him. Given that the New Yorkers who live in the same city were bashing the cabbie, it shows that most likely there are a lot of people who let their kids ride cabs to/from school by themselves, to playdates what have you. The lifestyle in the City is very different from the burbs.

Why is "bashing mom" such a big sport nowadays? Can't we just say, this time, it ended up being a poor choice to trust a cabbie and offer up ways to help? Must we always sit in judgement of a mom who IS allowed to make an occasional mistake? Is mothering a pursuit of constant perfection? Seems, everything turned out OK if the child made it home. And to me, that's what matters most. In this world, MOST people are good, are willing to lend a hand, and won't harm a child. So if a mom slips up, it will be OK.

Count me in the "won't bash a mom for a choice she made in a scenario which ended up ok" camp.

This is common "best practice" in many major cities (it's also why you WILL find many of those kids who have their "own" debit card as young as 5). Less affluent parents depend on their kids taking the subway/tube (cabs are expensive). But riding in a cab to and from is a "right of passage" in many cities akin to riding a school bus is in more suburban areas. Aka they both tend to happen at the same time: at age 5.

But it is BEST practice... being driven, alone, not having to contend with public transportation... and not something that all parents can afford to do. For those that can it's as well worn a path as putting a child on a school bus or having a neighbor carpool. But it's a paid service with expectations of MANY things. Having the cabbie just DUMP the kid at some random point is JUST like a day care provider pull their car over and dump them on the side of the road. They are being paid to take a child from point a to point b.

My friends in NY (manhattan) & London are often horrified that my Seattle-livin' son doesn't know how to call a cabbie (and their knee jerk response, since he doesn't cab is that I "let" him just climb onto *unsupervised* public transportation). It's just so NORMAL to them. That we have like 12 cabs in the whole city, and no tube, and terrible bus service just doesn't seem real to them. That I physically chauffeur my son everywhere he needs to go they have to remind themselves because it is just SO different from their daily lives.

They also have relationships with individual cabbies as well as cab companies. And many cabbies take great pride in the care they take of the kids in their charge. Especially the children they take regular care of. Dropping them off and picking them up from school and activities day after day. For every story like the one you heard on the radio there are HUNDREDS of stories of cabbies who go the extra mile for "their" kids.

Okay - some additonal details that I have read... the mother had an arrangement with the cab company specifcially for driving her son back and forth (complete with the fact that they were supposed to bill her) they were using it as a car service rather than your conventional hail a random cab.

The cabbie, did this completely on his own and failed to act responsibly. Had he spoken to his dispatcher which is what is supposed to do, then he would have been told.

Sorry to be so blunt - PLEASE STOP BEING SO JUDGEMENTAL - not every one has a car - she probably was doing the best she could under the circumstances. Until we know ALL the circumstances, who are we to judge anyone?

After reading the additional info that the mom had an agreement with the cab company and it was done "all the time" and until now, without incident...I don't really blame mom or grandma. And the cab driver was obviously out of the loop...so I think it was a communication error on the end of the cab driver's company and they obviously didn't have this cab driver on the same page, as he should have been.
Was he right to "kick out" a 7 yo child? NO. But with the right information, he wouldn't have even entertained that option.
Cabs/car services in NYC are a way of life as most people do not own cars and use cars often for basic transportation needs......
I feel bad for the child AND for the mom who obviously thought the situation was "handled" as it apparently was many times before.

I have known several young children who went back and forth in cabs. NONE carried money on them. The cab drivers ALWAYS deliver them to their door and get the money from the waiting adult. This is done all the time, and is routine in big cities.

The cabbie was ... criminal ... in his actions! Period.

I have no idea why the mother should be to blame for expecting a cab driver to take a passenger and deliver that passenger to the location... EXCEPT that perhaps it is so routine and so expected that she assumed this cabbie knew how to do his job. The only "should've" (and only known in retrospect) is that she "should've" made sure the cabbie understood what was expected of him.

Sorry,. This is something cabbies are expected to know - that they get the money from the adult at the other end.

Special needs or not...a 7 year old child should not be alone in a cab. Mom and grandma are definitely in the wrong here!

I agree with the few answers I read, Every adult involved in the situation is at fault here. Mom Grandma, Geez, is a visit with Grandma worth what could happen? (Lost, abused, etc.....)

If the cab drive REALLY wanted to make a point he should have taken the child to the police station or flagged down the nearest cop (I'm sure they can call from their cab) and asked the cop to deal with it. I've heard (not 100% sure) that it is illegal to leave a child alone in a car where we live. But then - WHY does every little shred of common sense and decency have to be legislated! (My pet peeve for the day)

Totally agree with you. No matter whether special needs or not, a 7 year old!!?? I can't even imagining putting my 7 year old niece in a cab alone, let alone a bus to go to school. (She doesn't need to ride a bus, be she gets easily confused. She's blond. Lets put it at that.)

Heck no I would not let my kid ride in a cab by himself! Shame on them!

I don't even care about the special needs part - the kid was 7! Unless it was a car service (that I had vetted, etc. for a special situation), neither one should have done that. Did the mom know he was coming home that way, or was this arranged? For the cabbie, most 7 year olds aren't going to have the money, that should have been given before or at drop off. If he wasn't okay with the situation, he shouldn't have picked up or should at least dropped the kid at the police station.

you are 100% right...the cab driver was a jerk and should have done the right thing. He should have taken the boy to his mother's house and waited there for CPS. I do wonder why he didn't refuse the fare in the first place. In his place I wouldn't have put myself in a position to be responsible for a child.

I think everyone was wrong in this incident. The grandma could have explained to the driver that he would get paid by the mother when he gets to the destination. The cabbor shouldn't have kicked the kid out a 7yr old and to top it off the child has special needs.

The mother should make arrangements with the cab company to accomodate the transport since she doesn't have a car. The mom should request for the the same cab driver that she can depend on.

I think ALL the adults are at fault (unless Mom didn't know what Grandma did until afterwards). The child should not have been in the cab alone. The cabbie should have not allowed the child in the car alone and IF he did, he should have made sure he had payment up front. If either of those had been the case, the rest would not have happened. Once it did, he should have either returned to Grandma or continued to Mom and then demanded his fare. Or at the very least taken the child to the police station.

Mom should no longer allow Grandma to have the child alone since she can not exercise good judgement.

How did the child get home? Is he ok?

shame on all the adults ESPECIALLY in a large and busy city like that!!! omg how can people be so STUPID i agree with joann to a degree, but i would have to be ALL ALONE and on my death bed to let my child ride even in a pre arranged cab that was to bill me for it....15 and depending on maturity level, i'd STILL be nervous to allow that

I would never put a 7 year old in a cab, special needs or not. I wouldn't even put my child in one until they were about 14 or older. But...us Californian's are much different than New Yorkers.

The cabbie was irresponsible too. He/she should have asked for fare before taking the child if necessary. Or dropped the child at a social services or police station. Not just any ole place.

Both are wrong for sure. Shame on mom and grandma for sure because he is a special needs kid who needs more help, you just dont do that to any child. They should know better and take better care of their precious one. They should be ashamed of themselves.
And shame on the cabbie for being so mean, he is one just a child, and two just a child with special needs he didnt know what was happening.
That is so ridiculous. What if when he had kicked him out something happend to the poor boy? someone could have kidnapped him or gotten hit by a car or etc. So sad the way people take care of their children and what is considered acceptable in some peoples eyes.

Shame on both of parties!

I am with you on this. WHY WHY WHY would you trust anyone!

Wasn't mom supposed to meet the cab in order to receive the child and PAY the driver? I agree that a 7 yr old, let alone, a special needs child, should never be unaccompanied in a taxi. Why wouldn't the cabby see whether someone is on the curb waiting for the kid? Sounds fishy to me. Mom and Grandma should be ashamed of themselves for that negligent act.

Hello, I agree with you 100%. I can't imagine putting any minor into a car with a stranger. We don't know anything about cabbies. I am certainly not saying that we can't trust most of them, but as in all jobs, there are a few who might prey on a child. What a couple of dumb people (I mean the mom and grandma). I am a grandma and have grandkids from the ages of one to fourteen and I wouldn't put ANY of them in a cab with a stranger, much less a special needs child. On the other hand, the cabbie was also VERY wrong to put that chld out of the cab. The bottom line for him was the money. Jerk!!
K. K.

Geez! Why are you so livid? Cab drivers have to be licensed. The driver himself and not just the cab. A child is as safe with a cab driver as with a teacher's aid, or a volunteer at the rec center. Do you always stay with your child?

Another difference is that NYC is not NV. Traveling in cabs is a way of life in NY. And the parent would not be able to afford traveling both ways. Cabs are expensive. I think a large number of New Yorkers do not own cars even.

My foster child traveled in cabs, arranged for and paid by CSD, to therapy in Portland, OR, which is a large city tho nothing as large as NY. Perhaps you're not familiar with a life style that includes cabs.

Please don't judge others' life styles.

I think everyone is responsible here. The grandmother should have not put him on that cab. A 7 year old with special needs? poor kid must have been so confused. And shame on the cabbor! He should have taken the kid to his mother and gotten money from her and if she didnt pay then he could have dealt with it there and called the cops or something. But kicking a 7 year old out because he has no money is like treating him like he is a criminal. He didnt know any better and while that is the fault of the grandmother for puting a 7 year old with special needs and no money in a cab the cabbor put that kids life at risk even more by kicking him out of the cab. So no matter how irresponsible the grandmother and mom were in this, i think the cabbor will be the one to blame.