What Do You Give These Days at Weddings

Updated on October 09, 2010
J.M. asks from Manasquan, NJ
17 answers

im in central jersey. things in jersey are more expensive than the average. its an average wedding, not cheap, not extavagent. this is a friend of mine since childhood but i wouldnt say we are close or anything. the groom is my husbands coworker, but again, nothing socially. they are very established. soooo, whats the going rate these days for the two of us? i havent been to a wedding in awhile, and they were most recently for closer friends where i was in the wedding party, so in total, it was much more of a financial commitment. i have no idea what to give!!!

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So What Happened?

thanks for the input!!!! i find it so funny that there is such a huge difference. i have decided to give $150-200 depending on finances that week, i did go to her shower and gave a gift off her registry, but where i live, it seems that for the wedding, most people give money, not gifts from the registry. where i live, we try to cover the plate, but i dont even know what the current wedding cost are nowadays. thanks so much for all the opinions.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Please shop off their registry. If you absolutely don't want to, at least include a gift receipt. I would think about $50 would be acceptable but if that's too much then just spend what you can. I also suggest shopping on line (through their registry) and having it mailed directly to them before the wedding. I remember when we got married that it was so much easier to deal with the presents that came to me beforehand so I could put them away and get thank you notes written easier.

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

About $50 per couple is typical, but if you find something worth $50 on sale for $20 I'd say that's fine in this instance.

2 moms found this helpful

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M.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I say at least $100 unless you really cannot afford it (I live in your general area).

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

It is typical to usually give a gift of about $50 per person (if single) or $50 per couple/family, but in all honesty, it shouldn't matter as long as it's a thoughtful gift.

The bride and groom should have a registry. Call/e-mail the bridesmaid or mother of the bride to get the registry information. It makes it easy to get something that you know they'll want for sure.

Good luck, and hope that helps!

2 moms found this helpful

J.C.

answers from Dallas on

hello,i would do like a table set with some candles:) every woman loves candles lol...maybe a nice silverwear set with a nice set of plates:) i would keep it around $50.00to75.00 its not family so dont go over board with it.keep it simple and sweet:) best of luck

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I usually spend around $100 (I'm from SoCal, so things aren't cheap here either, though not as crazy as NYC). I try to find something in the right price range off the registry, otherwise I give a check or a gift card (to somewhere they are registered).

K.
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/karenchao - with awesome promos in October, why not do your holiday shopping now?

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'd say no less than $50...75 or $100 if they are good friends.

Registry is the way to go--you can have it "sent" then nothing to "lug" to the wedding reception. More proper to ship it.

If money is very tight, at least get something personalized and sentimental--photo frame engraved w/names, monograms, etc.

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C.G.

answers from Chicago on

As a wedding gift, we use the rule of trying to cover the cost of our plates, and then more for family. We generally give $150-250. We live in Chicago. Also, my husband has been married more than once, so we give his family members more because they have already gifted him once. ;) Just seems fair, lol!

1 mom found this helpful

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

Shop off of their registry, if possible. Then you know they will like what you buy. =) In terms of cost, only give what you can afford to give. It's really up to you. If you are fairly well off, consider buying them a place setting in their selected china pattern, or a nice cooking pan. If times are tight for you right now, then buy them some napkins and place mats from their registry. I remember when I got married people bought everything from whole place settings to bath towels - and I was thrilled with all of it because it meant someone was thinking of me and sharing my happy moment. The dollar amount doesn't matter - it's whatever you can afford, truly.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Get them something off of their wedding registry. I usually spend about $50. If I don't know them that well or aren't close to them -maybe a little less -and if they're extremely good friends or close family -maybe a little more.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Chicago on

When my husband and I were married ten years ago the 'average' gift per couple was $100 (we're in the suburbs of Chicago).

When we're unable to attend the wedding we send $100 to the bride and groom but if we attend the wedding we give no less than $150 - the actual amount we give depends on how close we are to the couple.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

In central NJ, you'd be hard pressed to find an "average" venue for less than 100 a person when all is said and done. So, for the two of you, a gift of 200 or equivalent present would be the "norm".

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K.N.

answers from New York on

Are they registered for gifts they would like?
Stay within your budget and get them something you know they would like.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I have never heard of the gift matching the cost of the plate - that is ludicrous! There is no set standard on how much to spend - again a ludicrous assumption and expectation. You spend what you want or what you can afford. Since you aren't very friendly with this couple - do what you are comfortable with spending and get them something off of their registry. When I got married I certainly did not evaluate what was spent on our gifts - I was just happy they showed up at the wedding - the gift was icing on the cake.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

Momma11 - I've actually heard to cover the cost of the plate too, so it must not be too luicrous!

When we got married about 7 years ago (we live in CT so probably pretty comparable to NJ) I would say the average gift was $100/person

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

Hi there, I asked this question a few months ago too. I had 2 weddings to go to. One was out of state and one was my bosses son. I gave $100 and a $40 gift to the bosses son and $150 check to the out of town friend. And I felt cheap the whole time but they were only 2 weeks apart and we had to get a room for one so $ was a little tight. It really depends on you situation and how much you can afford, but if you are giving cash I say start at about $100.

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N.F.

answers from Seattle on

I was just wondering the same thing (childhood friend just got engaged). I treat everything the same though (ie Graduations, Birthdays, Baby Showers). How well do I know them? What is practical or fun (cross my fingers to find a combination) on the registry? If I don't like anything that I would personally gift... helloooooo giftcard! Very interested to see what others post :) Good Luck!

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