1. There are 100,000 books on childrearing, but not one baby comes with a real owner's manual. If there were only 1 way to raise a child, none of those authors would have gotten a publishing deal. So you have to figure it out on your own. You will make mistakes. That does not make you a failure.
2. As soon as you get something figured out, the baby changes schedules, preferences, or patterns. You do not need all the equipment the marketplace tells you that you do, and you do not need to purchase a million of the latest toys that the kids saw on the commercials. You do not need to give expensive birthday parties just to keep up with the neighbors. That does not make you a failure.
3. That's a hospital johnny, not a cape with a big "S" on it. You cannot do this alone. Yes, women have done childcare for thousands of years without all the car seats and accessories and toys you have. But they also had a community of women (family, friends) who helped out. It takes a village, so build/find one for yourself. That does not make you a failure.
4. Fathers can and should do more than you think they can. That does not make you a failure.
5. You will be exhausted. After that, you will be more exhausted. That does not make you a failure.
6. There are times when you will not want to be with your child and you will need a break. You should admit it, and you should take a break. That does not make you a failure.
7. There are times when you will feel like a failure. That does not make you a failure.
8. It's worth it. One day that child will make you a picture or say "I love you" or bring you a frog or go on the school bus by him/herself or graduate from college, or do any of a million other things that make you smile. Those are the moments that will tell you that you are definitely not a failure.