What Do I Tell Her? - Abilene,TX

As others have suggested be honest with the correct terms for body parts. I answered the same question when my daughter was about 5 and the questions did not get any deeper.

God helps the baby come out of mommy at the hospital. Sometimes the doctor takes the baby out of mommy's tummy (a c'section), and sometimes the baby comes out through mommy's girl parts... but that only happens after mommies graduate from college and marry daddies. I had my children convinced through the age of 9 that you had to graduate from college to have sex. Ah - I miss the innocent years.

Ask her how she thinks it will come out? My son was 8 when his brother was born and still tells everyone he came out of my belly button. Someone else may have told your child something else or the truth, but she probably wants some validation from you. There are a lot of chldren's books on this subject--some graphic and others not. Take a trip to the bookstore alone and see if you find something you wouldn't mind reading to her if she asks again. Congratulations!

I told my daughter that the doctor was going to take the baby out. That satisfied her- she was 4 then. I give a little info at a time until they are satisfied with the answer. Good luck!

i would just be honest with her - i personally don't feel it's "harmful" for a child to know, with age appropriate detail, the truth about childbirth. when my son had just turned 3, he was in the delivery room when his baby brother was born. we didn't plan it that way - but he and my mom were visiting us at that point, and i progressed really fast, so my mom just moved her rocking chair a little farther away and my husband and i said it was fine for them to stay as long as he didn't get freaked out - she would have quickly gotten him out of the room. i had pain control, so there was no writhing or screaming, etc. he pointed and yelled "BABY" when his brother was born, and that was the end of it. he is 6 now and still has some vague memories of that day. i am due any day now with a little girl, and my 6 year old is BEGGING to watch her birth as well. he has been to a few of my OB visits, he doesn't get all embarassed or pointing or giggling or anything - he knows that mommy has different parts from him, and that babies come out of the mommy's vagina. my now 3 year old doesn't show any interest at all at OB appts, the baby in my belly, etc. - so we're not sure if he'll be there or not when his little sister is born. of course, i would NEVER force the kids to watch, participate, etc. in the deliveries - but as long as my 6 year old is comfortable, we are planning to have him and my mom in the room - she will remove him quickly if anything begins to scare him or complications arise.

i guess, the more you avoid, the more curious/scared a little one may become. sometimes an answer, any answer, is enough to make them stop asking. and i realize that my solution/perspective isn't gonna work for everyone. now, so far(knock on wood), i'm just glad my 6 year old hasn't asked how the baby got IN there!!!!!!!!

Hi C.-

my 3 1/2 year old has asked the same thing (I'm due in June) because i am probably having a c-section I told him that I will go to the hopital and the Dr. will take the baby out. He has asked how a few times and I told them that they have special instruments/tools that help get the baby out...that answer seemed to satisfy him but your little girl is older so not sure if it will work for you. Good luck to you and your family!

I told my boys that were 5 and 3, that when the baby was ready he would come out of a special place down by where I pee. That God made a way for mommies to give birth. Some mommies have problems and that then the doctor would do surgery to take the baby from the front. They asked if they could see the "special place" and I told them no, that it was a private area, just like they had private areas. Not for just anyone to see. That seemed to satisfy their curiosity and answer truthfully their questions. Once they were assured that everything was allright, they didn't ask much more. I don't think at this age they are ready for the birds and the bees, just some simple explanations and reassurance. I didn't get andy books and videos. I will also mention that when they were older that they saw a baby calf born on my dad's farm and had an "AAAAHHHH-HHHHAAAAA!!!" moment. And said, Mom never would show us where the baby came from but now we get it!
Good luck with this one,
L.

All children are different and some can handle a more factful answer than others. You know yours better than we do so I say get as close to the truth as you can, but be creative at the same time. You can start vague and the progess if the questions continue. If they are asking more detailed questions maybe they are ready for more detailed answers.

When I was five I asked my mother the same thing. She told me there was a special opening between mothers legs for the baby to come out. I remember walking off mulling this answer. Later I went back to mother and asked if she really said baby would come out between her legs. When she said yes, she did, I replied that that was the craziest thing I ever heard. the question never came up again!!

You never know about kids.
D.

Check out the library, too. There may be a book specifically for that age group that uses the correct terms and concepts, but in just the right amount for that age.

Tough one. At her age, I would just tell her that the doctor is going to help the baby come out. If that doesn't satisfy her, I would tell her the truth. My daughter was 6 1/2 when I had Aubrey, and she knew the truth. She didn't seem phased by it at all. I just told her that the baby came out of my privates. Sorry if that's TMI. lol! :)
Congrats on the new one!

I'm in agreement with being honest but in little details, don't have to be graphic. I would say the baby is going to come right out of mommy, just like she did. Then say sometimes the doctor even has to cut mommy's tummy open to get the baby out. I'd try not to avoid questions, just be honest.

My son was 4.5 when my daughter was born and he asked the same question. I just told him that the baby would come out one of two ways - between my legs or the doctor would take her out of my tummy with a knife and that is why I had to go to the hospital. My son was way more upset at the fact that I had to spend 3 days at the hospital vs. how the baby got here. He hated leaving me at the hospital at the end of the day.

Oh, and my son also thought that the baby would come out of the belly button.

-L.

My daughter just turned 5 one month after I had the baby. When she asks I say "magic, just like how she got there" because in a sense- it is. I think now, just 7 months later she figured it out without me telling her. I know a lot of people may not agree with it, but I just left it at that and she was ok with it.

I am due in July, and my son who just turned 5 brought this up in the car just the other day. I just simply told him that when the baby is ready to come out that Mommy will go to the docotor, and he will give her some medicine and help take the baby out of my tummy. The only response that he had was, "will it hurt?" I explained that no, the doctors take good care of people, and I know that they will take care of me. I left it at that, because I don't think I'm ready to go any deeper with him right now. Good luck!

The Truth!!
Explain that God gave women a very special place between your leggs were there is an opening for the baby to come out. The truth always works best.

I would tell her the truth using real names for body parts. I would tell her there are 2 ways a baby can be born and then with little detail tell her those two ways. I'd imagine the c-section option would be the most scary for her to hear about, so I wouldn't explain anything in detail. I think a girl of 5 can handle knowing what her body will be able to do someday. Also, I use womb instead of tummy because babies don't grow in the same place as our food goes. I guess I just want my children to be well informed about their bodies and those of the opposite sex. The more they learn from mom and dad, the less they will rely on peers to "teach" them about their bodies and sex. Good luck!

I've always been honest with my kids. Keep it very simple. If you aren't comfortable with your own words, try books. We found some books at the library. I can't remember any of the titles. Also, our midwife had some books and videos that we shared with the kids. Their favorite was of a water birth where the baby came out particularly fast. They thought that was cool. My oldest daughter was 8 when her youngest brother was born. She was in attendance. She was well prepared and it was a good experience.

for me, it was easy....both of my girls were c-section. so I just told them the doctor cut my tummy open and took them out and I showed them the scar. can you tell her not to worry about that God will take care of it? good luck.