My husband came home late one night last month. He didn't call or text me to let me know, so I was upset. He told me I was over reacting and got really mad at me. Out of nowhere he tells me he hasn't been happy for the last few years. I had no idea, I thought things were fine. We were making plans, both short term and long term and now all of a sudden, after almost 10 years he doesn't know if he wants to be married, because he had problems and didn't tell me about them. I am just so lost and confused, I feel betrayed that he chose to keep issues to himself until he is at the point we can't even be in the same room for 5 minutes without fighting. He left to stay at a friend’s house until we figured things out, but he told me he wanted to work on fixing our relationship. Until we first met with a counselor, then he told me he was done. Then a couple hours later he said he didn't want to be done and now he wants to think things over. I was trying to give him space when I found out he has been spending A LOT of time talking to who he says is a friend from work. However this friend is a girl, and it bothers me that he can talk to her, but refuses to talk to me about the problems in our relationship. I still don't know what he thinks is a problem. I also found inappropriate text messages between him and this girl back in January. He says nothing is going on she is just a friend, but I don't know what to believe any more. We have 3 kids, all under 6. I believe he is having an emotional affair with this girl at the very least. I don't know what to do. Stay and try to work on things, or cut my loses and end it. Any advice would be much appreciated.
The movie Fireproof is one of my favorites. Please watch it before you make your decision. Even better, watch it with him, and then talk about it. I promise it will be worth your time.
That would definitely be a situation where I would cut my losses. After almost 10 years, you should have had reason to think you were with a responsible adult, but now he's simply being immature. With three kids to raise I don't think I would be able to justify waiting around for him to make up his mind what he wants. I wish there was some way to help, but all I can really tell you is what I would do myself. I certainly hope things get better for you.
Wow seems like the year for cheating husbands! I'm in the same boat right now except for i am due to have our 3rd baby in 6 weeks. I decided to file for divorce, because he has cheated in the past and i gave him a second chance. I know that he will never change and is a very selfish person. My husband told me the same thing that he hasn't been happy in years and has been trying. Um yeah where have i been? Popping out babies i guess. We have a 2 yr old and a 7 yr old also. Inbox me if you want to talk. Sorry you are going through this it is very upsetting to learn you have been being lied to.
To me, a marriage is a commitment. I would go to counseling to help restore the marriage. But, I think that he needs to cut whatever relationship he is having with this lady at work.
Oh, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think you should talk to a counselor alone to try to sort all of this out.
Very best wishes!!
