What Do I Do!? - Grand Prairie,TX

So sorry to hear how unhappy your daughter has become. Whatever your gut tells you, do so, and listen to your daughter.
I would try to have a real heart to heart talk with her. If she doesn't want to talk, since you've already thought about it, take her to a doctor just to get an all-around physical and then that doctor may reccomend a counselor. A friend's daughter has had a counselor and has seen some improvment from it. It could be anything, who knows....I'd want to seek help.
After a doctor visit and if the doctor says it's ok, I'd see if we could do visitations on neutral ground: a day at the movies, go rollerskating or bowling or something where there would be an activity to take the pressure off but where they could talk enough for the dad to feel he's getting to know her, even one of the bigger McDonalds playlands or a nice park. What did your ex go to school for? I ask because maybe you could initiate an activity on neutral ground that would show a little insight into who he is so his daughter could know him, and he'd appreciate that activity too. (If he likes cars then I'd suggest a local race or a car show coming up, if he likes history art or science then a museum or fair, that kind of thing). Another option would be to have a casual family day with him included. That way she has the security of knowing that you're there, but could spend some time with her dad. You'd be there, maybe to assist the interaction in a non-threatening way and also to make sure all goes well. Personalities shouldn't swing so wildly, in my opinion. I'd want to be present (but act nonthreatening so that it could work).

C., I do not know anything about divorce and I am sure that has to be a very hard situation. It sounds like your daughter is going through a very rough time and my instinct would tell me to listen to my child if they are concerned at that level.

I would take her to see a councelor or a doctor, I am sure some other moms here will have better advice for you. I could not continue to put her through this, she could remember this for the rest of her life. I still have memories of being forced from my mothers house as young as 3 years old. Hopefully she will not, but it could happen.

From what I have read here, you can get in trouble by not sending her to scheduled visits. I think you need some medical advise to back your case up if you choose to give her a break from his house. Also, the doctor or councelor might be able to work through what fear she has or come to terms with what is going on that she isnt talking through.

Good luck and I hope you get lots of good advise from these ladies!

I think you should sit down and talk to your daughter about what she does not like about going over to her dads house. Something is going on that she is not comfortable with and maybe she just isn't comfortable about being around him. She is 8 years old so she should be able to tell you what she like about him and don't like about him.

Combine all of what the other moms said, but also - I hate to say this - just because he's her BIO dad, doesn't mean she thinks of him as her father. And the adults in this situation need to respect that. My mom was married 4 times - I never knew my bio-dad; #2 raised me - he is dad.

If there's a way to get a mediator involved to minimize the pain in this situation and find out the best solution, I'd do that. I don't know how willing your ex will be to accept that he's not such a big part of her life. But he may also feel like he "has to" act like a dad even if it's not comfortable for him because he's "supposed to". If she doesn't feel like he's her dad, maybe he can have an uncle-type relationship - close but not father/daughter. I don't know - it's tough, and I wish you luck. Sorry this was a bit rambling.