What Did You Do with Your Kids During Your Maternity Stay in the Hospital?

If you have the money, hire an older nanny for those days you are in the hospital, she will clean for you too.

Congrats!

i was pregnant with my second and that was our concern because our first child was only 18 months old. we havent ever left him and never will either unless its an emergency. we had decided that we were going to have him with us during labor and that if it was anything where he shouldnt be around he could sit with the others in the waiting room adn then when i would have to stay the night in the hospital my husband would go home adn stay with our child. and then if you needed help you could aske someone to stay with you or their are always nurses. i wanted my son to be with someone he felt safe with and didnt feel like he was getting pushed to the side abd this new baby was more important. ifelt that i could survive a night or two alone. i would be sleeping anyway. this way they could stay adn visit as late as posible and then my husband could come back up that next morning. its an idea. hope it helps

I have the same issue. I am due for a C-Section in two weeks, and have a two year old. My mom has fractured her knee so she isn't really able to take care of him for me as was our plan. My dad came up last weekend to help me out with some things because I was sick and at one point he let my son go over 7 hours without changing his diaper! I know it is minor in the grand scheme, but still something I find unacceptable. He also has a bad habit of leaving his milk out all day and letting him drink on it. Ugh! Anyway, to answer your question, I think almost all moms will say that we are the very best caretakers of our kids and no one else is as as good as we are. I have taken the time to write down in excrutiating detail how I want my son taken care of - right down to the exact times to change diapers, an exact meal and snack plan, schedule for each day and have already scheduled play dates for him! A lot of people will probably say that I am being overzealous, but I did discuss it with my dad and he is actually glad to have it. In fact, he asked me to email it to him in advance. I am also having him come here and stay at my house to make it easier on my son. Is that a possibility for your mother also? You just need to accept that there will be things that slip through the cracks. Are your kids safe and will they be fed and protected? That is all that really matters for the few days you won't be around. Does your 6 year old have specific issues, or is it a general uneasy feeling? Encourage her to bring up all her concerns now so you can address them before hand. Will your husband be around to see the kids every day or are they going to be too far away? I really think if at all possible try to keep them close to home. Best of luck to you and congratulations on your new son.

can you afford a babysitter/nanny for that time?? And, like others say, you have not mentioned your husband, if he is off of work, the best place for him to be is with the kids. He can help keep the routine and only drop them off with your mom when needed. Maybe you could let your mom know that you would like her to help you at the hospital, so it makes her feel like you need her there, rather than that you dont want her with your kids. And, do you have girlfriends that could help. Esp with your 6 year old. If she gets to have a sleep over for a few of the nights, maybe it would be more exciting for her. It is so much harder when you have several kids, cause you worry more about them than you do the baby that you just had!! But really, let the nurses take care of you, have hubby visit often, but not for super long periods of time,and for sure go home to sleep with the kids. They should be just fine!! Good luck ~A.~

Yikes! That's a tough situation. Luckily my sister lives a couple streets away. When I had my 2nd, she took my 1st and watched her. She came over and stayed at our house to make it as normal as possible for my daughter. With baby #3 on the way, my sister will be watching #1 and #2 at our house again. She has very similar mothering ideas as me, so I trust her pretty easily.

The person that I feel like I can relate to (with how you feel towards your mother) is my mother-in-law. In December she moved from living close to 20 hours away to living only 45 minutes away. I'm fine with how she interacts with my kids most of the time, but she disciplines differently than me and I'm not at all comfortable leaving my children with her. They often ask to watch the kids for us, and we kindly refuse. I disagree with too many things they do and I don't believe they would respect how we do things and do them that way because we do. They would do it the way they want when we aren't there and I'm not interested in that.

So, if I didn't have my sister, I would NOT let my mother-in-law watch my children. Do you have friends nearby who can watch them? Maybe pick 3-4 or four friends and rotate your children through them, one friend per day? I know it's not ideal, but hopefully your child would be playing and happy that way and your friends would be helpful!

I'm sorry you are faced with this. It sounds like no fun to have to figure out what to do in a situation like this. I think I would be feeling just like you!

i've left them for up to 4 days and not had a huge issue. i leave them with my mom or a family friend or my hubby that i highly trust and go off for a little vacation every year. sure, i talk to them daily. sure i miss the sounds of their little feet. but man it's good to rejuvenate myself too! every woman needs some ME time. giving birth is hard enough without adding the stress of this on it.

When I had our daughter in December we were blessed enough that my husband could take the week off. At the time my son was going to daycare so we just let him go there for the time that he would normally have been there. Then my husband would pick him up & they would come to the hospital to spend time with me & the baby. At night my husband would take our son home & stay there with him. Thankfully my 18 year old niece lives with us so after putting our son to bed my husband was able to come back to the hospital for a couple of hours. Honestly though, there was no need for him to be there all the time. The hospital has nurses & techs whose job is to help you & the baby...use that resource! If you can arrange it so that your husband can be with the kids in the evening & at nights then that may be an option. That way the only time they have to be with your mom is for a few hours during the day. Good luck!

With my third we were living out of state and were forced to rely on a trusted friend. Her oldest son was my sons friend from summer camp. She was wonderful and I am so blessed to have had her. She picked up the phone at 1am when I needed to go to the hospital and let them spend the night there. (I also had a c-section and was in the hospital for four days, I just went into labor a week before the scheduled c-section) Even though I didn't enjoy being alone in the hospital, my husband stayed with the older boys and maintained their routine. He would visit with the boys everyday so that helped. You didn't mention your husband but it's an idea.

I would also add that children absorb and react to subtle vibes you give off. If you are very anxious and worried about being apart, she will be, too. Although you may not have spoken anything negative about your Mom, I'm sure your daughter can feel that she is not your "most favorite person." Sometimes managing expectations can go a long way toward making an experience turn out more positively. Children are resilient and although this isn't your ideal situation, she will do better if you try to keep the anxiety about it to a minimum. Part of that is stressing to her the very short-term temporary nature of the arrangement and try not to make a big deal about how long you will be apart so she doesn't get worked up in advance. You might also want to play up how exciting it will be when you come home with a new baby brother!

I also do not allow others to look after my children as a general rule - including family. But - you know you have to do something so - Another idea would be for YOU to look at preschools/daycares near both your home, your hospital, and your husbands office.

You can start them a bit before you go to have your baby to ease the transition and because you chose it you'll feel so much better! That way also politics is not an issue and basic items like food and diapers are on a schedule and won't be forgotten. You can use before and after school care in the same location for your 6 yr old (with most schools)and full day for your little one. You'll have to chat it up to your daughter - but it would give you more security then relatives you already dislike. Your husband can pick up and drop off the kids so he can work or be with you. They will not have their nights disrupted being at home with him and he can bring them to see you and new brother.

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I had a schedule c-section with my second child and my mother came to our house to take of my daughter. If I didn't trust my mother then I would find someone else. How about your husbands family?