What Chores Do Your Children Do?

I have a 8, 6, 3 and 10 mos old. I provide them with a list of chores necessary to keep order in the house. Each week we rotate the chores, letting them choose particular ones. The two oldest are responsible for making their beds, keeping their rooms neat, setting or clearing the table. The kids do get weekly allowance but not for chores. My husband and I believe that each member of the family has a responsiblity to help out and not because they are getting paid for it. Chores help build self-esteem and make them feel like they are contributing members of the family (even if they complain about at times). Often they are very proud of their accomplishments.

My daughter is also 7 and besides the obvious chores of putting clothes away, taking her dinner dishes to the kitchen, helping set the table , making her bed basics the only thing I insist at this age that is her responsiblilty ( besides homework!) is keeping her room clean. I do not pay her , but when it comes time for allowance, she will have to be keeping up her responsiblities to get it.
The wierd thing is that she likes cleaning her bathroom without being asked.... she would ten times rather clean her bathroom than her bedroom.
She cracks me up.
My son is 11 and has the added job of collecting the trash around the house and taking it out. As well as a few other small jobs.
Give her some more stuff to do, but don't overwhelm...
and good luck!

My daughters are 4 and 7 and they each have a chore chart with magnets they get for each chore they do. The 7 yr old gets a quarter for each magnet. The chores involve cleaning up the dog poop, put their clothes in the dirty laundry (they also have to shout out their own underwear...yuck! But that's life...), make their beds, clean up their toys, one of them sets and one of them clears the dinner table, etc. The 7 yr old must make her bed before she leaves for school and has to do her chores without being asked to earn her magnet.
She actually saved enough money to buy her own bunk bed because it was a want and not a need. She also uses her money when they sell Scholastic books at school and saves some to put in her savings account.
If we are picking up the yard and she helps out she earns extra magnets. She averages about $4 a week. The most is about $6. It's worked out pretty well.

I have 3 girls, 8, 5 and 4 yrs old. They are all responsible for daily chores and I have even introduced weekly chores for the 8 yr. old. They love it. We took sticky magnetic sheets (from the craft store) and printed out pictures of "chores" like dishes for clearing your plates from the table. That worked great for the younger ones who can't read. each chore is on a separate magnet. On the fridge there is a "to do" side and a "done" side. Each night they count how many are done, and that amout of change goes into their own jar. At the end of the month, we tally the points (coins) and there is a prize sheet to choose from. Say 50 points = go get ice cream, or 60 points = buy a new book. Some rewards cost and some are free (like bake cookies with mom or special beauty treatment - nails painted). It works great because you're teaching them that you're not going to force them to do EVERYTHING...some days are hectic and we don't get OUR chores done :) But for what they do, they will get rewarded. As for what chores, let her help you decide, but here are some ideas: make bed, wipe down her bathroom sink, clear dishes from table, help put away groceries.
Best of luck!
S.

Hi D.,
Two of my kids are a bit older than your daughter (11 & 12)but when they were her age they also did everyday things around the house. But they also had weekly things they were responsible for. Like dusting, wiping down the bathroom counters and sinks. Taking out the trash, helping set the table, putting away the silverware from the dishwasher and helping to bring in the groceries. I have never paid them for helping around the house. They live here too and as a Family we take care of the household chores. If there is a large chore that isn't done all the time, we tackle it together and maybe go for ice cream when its done. Good Luck! L. B.

I have my children do most of the chores listed, but their favorite one wasn't listed...vacuuming! Maybe because I have boys and it's a machine, but they almost fight over who got to vacuum at that age. I also have my kids help with the pop cans and other recycling. Now that my youngest is 9, they are responsible for a menu for the week that I review and buy the groceries for, laundry (yes at 10 they can run the washer and dryer). I also tried the allowance issue if they completed their jobs with the "chore chart". For me I never had enough $1. However I had them buy their school supplies, party gifts, Valentines, etc. It did and still does show them what they can get for their money. They now love the dollar Store.

Excellent question, D.. My boyfriend and I have had a few talks about this ourselves. First, I would start with family preferences. Everyone has their own way of doing things, and that's ok! My son's are 3 and 5, and although we don't refer to their tasks as "chores," they are held responsible for picking up after themselves -- dirty clothes, plates from meals, toys (inside and out, etc. We choose not to give our kids an allowance, though that may change in the future. We would rather give them things/money on occasion after doing something extra to help out. Just the other day, we were talking about adult work ethic, and how important it is to instill that as early as possible. Many people who never had to work for anything don't see working as important, and will struggle because of it. Many people I know started working on things like odd jobs with mom and dad as early as 5, and they are good people who provide very well for their families. Of course, there must be balance, so a kid can be a kid, but there is no reason for a child to not be taught the value of hard work and responsibility. Just make sure you have fun with them, too.

My 4 yr old, almost 5, daughter sets the table every night, folds towels and washcloths, dusts and puts away her clean laundry. She also has to clean her room before bedtime each night. These chores are her responsibility as a member of our family and I don't pay her. Sometimes I offer her opportunities to earn money though, maybe a quarter or two, for things like pulling weeds or washing the front of the fridge and cabinets (she loves using a spray bottle!). Then we can talk about saving and spending.

Hi!
My daughter is 7 and she will load the dishes into the dishwasher, she cleans her room, puts her laundry away and helps vacuum. The only time I pay her is when she is looking to earn money for something she wants and I have her help with more chores like windows, mopping, fold the towels etc.
Make it fun!!:-)

Good job getting your daughter to put away her laundry! I leave the laundry basket full of clothes in my daughters' room (ages 8 and 10) and it never gets emptied. Anyhow, we have a chore chart that they made themselves and they check off various chores when they do them. Setting the table, clearing the table, picking up toys, making their bed, looking after their little brother are some things they can do. If they get 14 checks then they get $2. It's an imperfect system but they do understand that they need to help out.
J.

I have a 6 and a 7 year old and we've recently upped the ante on the chore front. We have always expected them to clean their rooms(with help), pick up any toys left around the house at the end of the night, put away their clean laundry, put dirty laundry down the laundry chute, pick up after themselves in general, pitch in when asked (setting table, etc.) when they started school they were responsible for making their beds. In order to teach them money management, we instituted an allowance. We basically give them the money we were spending on them anyways, and they're learning to manage it. We added one chore a day, they rotate cleaning the bathroom (mostly just wiping down the sink and changing the hand towel)and taking out the kitchen trash after dinner each night. They get a quarter when they do those, don't get it if they don't. We add a dollar at the end of the week. This adds up to $10 a month for each of them, from which they're expected give $1 to God, also to pay for their hot lunch twice a month, popcorn at school, and any treats they want (slurpees, ice cream, etc.) My 7 year old is currently saving for a toy instead of getting the extras. I agree that some of this is just part of living in the household, but I also think you need to teach them that when you work, you get paid and when you don't work, you don't. The main reason is money management for me though. Hope this helps.

My kids are 7 and 5. They have a weekly list of chores and they are not paid for them. They clear and set the table, wash hand prints off walls and doors, clean their rooms and the toy room, help with laundry and dust. They get paid if they do extras like pull weeds, wash windows, etc. I explained to them that they don't get paid for doing their weekly chores because keeping the house clean and being helpful are what family members do for each other .

I start mine as soon as they show an interest. My youngest is Gracie, 4yrs old, and loves to help put the silverware away. My oldest is Maria, 10yrs old, and helps alot around the house. Maria can run the laundry, vacuum, sweep, clean the bathroom, and unload the dishwasher. I began her with the silverware at around 4 or 5 also. I just take whatever they show an interest in and take advantage. Gracie saw Maria vacuuming and wanted to help, so I let her roll the vacuum around the living room for awhile. Right now, it's playing to her, but she's learning to help at the same time. I have an electric skillet that Maria is curious about and she's cooked spam for lunch to make sandwiches with and was very proud - of course I was 2 feet from her overseeing everything she did. I think by the time Maria was 7, she was in charge of the dishwasher (putting the dishes on the counter), vacuuming, and folding the towels. I give Maria a quarter for every chore she does without being asked. I'm trying to get her to take the initiative to get things done.

Hi D.!

I am a SAHM to a 7 year old son and 9 month old daughter. Our son is in the age for "chores" and has been doing them for the present school year, being first grade. We have him earning allowance for his chores, which he receives on Sunday's; and then learning the concept of spend, share and save. We just opened a savings account for him in his name, so he can see how much he is saving, and also have discretion to spend his hard earned money. Some ideas that might work for your daughter: setting the table before dinner and clearing it afterwards, making her bed in the mornings, one day a week super clean-up of her room, laundry help, loading/unloading the dishwasher, picking up toys. The fun ones we did for "bonus cash" over the last winter were shoveling the drive-way (which we all pitched in on!), you could do some fun gardening together which teaches responisibility and is less of a chore... The Learning Express has a neat fridge attachment to mark off the days of the week and accomplished chores too! Hope this helps a bit. Good Luck! ~M. L

We have a chore chart (not sticking to eat so much during school) They always want to buy something (Webkinz) and I told them they would have to earn the money. We have a list of chores and you choose five chores a week, so you can do them all in one day or one a day and take two days off. And you get your age in cash. My boy twins are 9. My Daughter who is fourteen cleans my bathroom sinks (5 baths), counter tops and mirrors. She won't even think about the toilots. She gets $3.00 a bath, I keep a list for her and this money pays for her unlimited text messaging, I pay for her phone but she has to pay for her texting. The boys chores are, sometimes they actually enjoy doing them.

wipe down the kitchen chairs
swiffer the wood floors
windex
walk though (put away stuff laying around)
fold towels
make beds
put away toys in basement
put the stamps on the mail (when younger)

I have seven children and they all have chores. It is lighter during the school year. Usually on weekends with dishes during the week. We assign different children nightly. Our 4 year old helps and has chores of her own and she started last year. She started with feeding the cat and dog daily with helping pick up her room. Chores for the other kids age 13-8 are dishes, cleaning room, making bed, wiping down the bathroom and on certain days cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen, putting laundry away, and using the push mower for the lawn. The kids start at about 5 years old. We do not pay them it is expected because they are a part of the family and these are things that need to be done to keep the family running. They get money if they are going to the movies ect. Good luck.

D.,

You might want to check out the House Fairy: www.housefairy.org
Pam Young has a great list that shows what chores children are physically able to do, broken down by ages.

I found it very helpful in trying to figure out what my son (6) can do on his own. I have discovered I can't expect the work to be perfect or exactly how I would do it, but the chore does get done. =) Just like FlyLady says: House work done imperfectly still blesses the family. =)

Have a great day!

-C..

MY daughter did not start doing dishes till she was about 11 years old when she started doing dishes and most of her chores. I felt that she should have to keep her room clean and pick up after herself and her dog. That is a chore in itself sometimes when they are that small. I think putting away her laundry and picking up after herself and hanging up her towel and brushing her teeth is enough for now, but when she does get a little older I would start making chores up for everyone in your house hold, write them on popsicle sticks and stick them in a cup and have each person pick their own chores that way they cannot blame anyone for the chores they get. Put maybe one freebie in the cup and see who gets it, it is fun. I do this with my family now.

This response is more of an opinion about allowance. I don't want to offend anyone...this is just what I do and what I believe. My son is 16 and has had chores for many years (although he sucks at all of them lol). Anyway, he does not get an allowance for everyday chores. It's his house too and we are all responsible for keeping it clean (dishes, vacuuming, bedrooms, etc). However, he also knows that if he was willing to do extras such as: washing cars, mowing lawns, cleaning out gutters, etc that he would get paid. He just choses not to do those things..so his loss. So that's how things are done in my home. But whether or not you chose allowances. Maybe start your daughter off slow. Have her start keeping her room clean more often or setting the table before dinner and work your way up with age. Hope my opinion helps!!!

D.,
I have 5 boys ages 12 10 7 4 and 15 months. We don't pay for chores but do offer computer time for extra work or if someone goes above/beyond expectations.
Some examples of what they do by age is, the 12 year old is responsible for mowing the lawn (on a riding mower with supervision) in the summer or shoveling off the back steps in winter. Loading the dishwasher. We have a farm and occasionally have to bottle feed a calf or two, which is twice a day every day and he does that too when needed.
The 10 year old unloads the bottom shelf of the dishwasher, and helps with laundry, usually just moving a load from the washer to the dryer or unloading the dryer. He also is responsible for keeping a shower stall cleaned.
The 7 year old is expected to unload the top shelf of the dishwsher, and he likes to help dad where needed so although he does jobs they vary.
The 4 year old is responsible for unloading the siverware tray and picking up stray dirty clothes and hauling them to the laundry room.
the 12 10 and 7 year olds fold thier own playclothes and put them away the 4 year old puts his folded playclothes away.
In addition we count homework as chores so if anyone has a large amount of schoolwork we lighten up on the household stuff.
Also there are jobs we do together as a family, like we heat our home with wood and dad cuts and splits it and the rest of us load/unload and stack it. Even the 4 year old can pick up little pieces. Or in the spring we take a trailer out and pick up sticks from the yard that have fallen over the winter, everyone can pitch in. And sometimes if I need to do something around the farm I grab one of the big boys (12 or 10 year old) have them come with me to hold/keep an eye on the 15 month old.
I guess the atmophere here is that we expect an attitude of cooperation, because there are things that just need to be done in life, and the sooner they learn that the farther ahead they will be.

Hi D.,

My 5 year old son makes his bed, picks up his toys, helps set the table and helps prepare food with a kids safe knife/spoon that sort of thing. He is not allowed to help out with stuff on the stove though. We do not give an allowance yet, he does get rewards when we grocery shop every week. A balloon or a new matchbox's car for his collection. When he is old enough not be have to be told what to do and knows his responsabilities he will be given an allowance.

My daughter who is only 22 months (soon to be 2 in June), put napkins on the table. Helps me put clothes in the washer (front loader) and then take them out and put them in the dryer. She even pushes the buttons and then I put the child lock on :) She also get a balloon at the grocery store at the end of the week :)

Good Luck!
J. in Macomb

My 3, this month will be 4 is responsible to clean her toys, put away her clothes, straighten her bed, wash her toys in the sink when needed.I bought her a small Barbie vacuum that really picks up, she is responsible to vacuum messes she has made with her chips, cereal, etc. Mainly her chores are focused on her messes and things related to her stuff. Even my 2 year old twins are getting in on cleaning their messes. We sing the "Clean Up" song from Barney as were doing this, helps them to think its a fun chore. The only reason I will reward my 3 year old with something is if she cleans up something that the twins did or something not related to her messes without me having to have asked her. I will reward her with small toys, games, candy, occasionally gum.

D. -

My 2 oldest are 7 1/2 and 5. They are responsible for making sure the dog has food and water daily, taking her out when asked (we have no fenced yard so she has to go out on a leash), helping to clean up the yard after her, emptying the dishwasher as necessary, and putting away their own laundry. My husband and I have taken the approach that there is absolutley NO need to pay them for these chores, as we should all be willing as a family to pitch in and help each other out. I do NOT want them to think that the only time they should be helpful or willing to work is if they are getting paid. In our family, we all pitch in and help each other out whenever we can. Rewards come from going above and beyond, like giving up some playtime to help wash the cars or clean the basement, etc. Those rewards are not in the form of money, either. It is more like, everyone who helped wash the cars is going for an ice-cream, or because we spent the day working on household projects today, tomorrow we will go putt-putt golfing or to a movie. They enjoy the "family" time much more than the money, and I think it teaches them that being part of a family is about fostering the relationships, not waiting to be paid for your participation. It works for us. Hope you find something that works for you...

I have three children 13,5 and 5months.The older have "chores" that are age apprpriate.I have to say the best book I bought was "Mrs. Clean Jeanns' housekeeping with kids" It breaks down chores by age and also has great Ideas on how to make it"fun". It was nice to be able to have a book to read to my kids so they could see I wasn't making it up,as fo an allowance,we consider most things to be helping as a family,but as long as they are cooperative they can have money for the movies or a new matchbox.But i try to help them understand that these are the things we do to keep our home nice and things running smooth.Goodluck.

My children are now 15 and 11, but I started them on dishes when at seven (not the pots and pans, though), and they also began to help me fold clothes and vacuum. If you start them early (even though you may have re-do some of it yourself), they'll learn the meaning behind responsibility. As far as pay goes, I didn't start that until age 10, and it was in the form of "lunch money for the week". I'd give them there money for the week at the beginning of the week and let her know that they are more than welcome to take a bag lunch and save the lunch money for whatever they want to do. Works out well!!

Our 6 almost 7 yr old feeds and waters the cat and dog daily. Sets and clears off the table, (grown up takes care of food) and makes sure her room is picked up. She gets $3.- a week for it. From that she gives 10 percent to God, 10 percent to savings aka piggy bank, and the rest in her purse to spend.... Our little saver mastered the concept of saving to buy something bigger and has 13.- saved until she finds something she wants. We don't give her loans to make up the difference, she has to save herself...

Hi D., great question! Of course every family runs a little different but we expect alot out of our girls (11 and 9). Of course they are expected to keep there room clean and put away what they take out ALL around the house, but my girls also help me fold laundry and empty the dishwasher (my youngest is short and she justs grabs a chair to put dishes up in the shelf or we have her do the silverware). Also when I'm outside gardening I have my girls help me pull weeds or my husband will have them run around the yard and pick up big sticks before he cutts the grass. We try to make it fun for them and NEVER competitive. (like who can pick up more, or finish first). Because it never seems fair for the littlest or youngest. Also our girls have learned to make their beds EVERY morning and pick out there own school clothes. We also have chickens and it's the girls job to feed them everyday. I think it's good to teach children responsibility's at a young age. Like the saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" - now we don't even have to remind them to do these things, it's just a "given". And it makes me feel good knowing that as they grow into there adulthood they have a jump start on household "chores" and responsibilitys. Hope I helped and good luck!

I have a 13 year old DD, and a 10 yr. old DS. They each pick up thier own rooms, make thier bed, put away their own laundry, set the talble, walk the dogs, groom the dogs, and pick up the poo from the dogs in the yard. This is what they do during the school year. In the Summer I have them do more--like dishes and kitchen, trash, and some laundry.

They are usually good about helping with whatever I need them to do. We do not pay them for these chores. My husband and I feel this is thier duty and what family members do to keep a family runnning smoothly. We are very generous to pay for thier extra curricular activities and fun with friends.

We also feel thier MAIN job is to get good grades, so we do pay them for A's and B's. They get good grades so we are going broke--LOL!

Hi D.. I have 2 girls (14 & 10) and they started having chores (apart from personal grooming) from a young age (5 years old) The intensity and complexity depended on their age adding chores as they grew older. My husband and I don't overwhelm the girls with chores, but they have to learn responsibility and that everything is not play. As parents, we have a duty to train our children to be capable and responsible adults and it starts from early on. As far as pay, my girls receive allowances just because, not as a payment for chores. They need to understand that in managing a house the responsibility falls on everyone. When they are ready to marry and have children they will appreciate the training they received early on from their parents. My house is always kept neat and it is because of my husband, my daughters and myself. I hope I helped you somehow.

HI D.! I have 7 & 8 year old girls. We have a "job chart" (from the teacher's store-it is really made for class helpers to be put on a bulletin board). There is a large "pocket", and and 10 smaller "pockets". On each small one, I write a chore(unload dishwasher, scrub toilets, etc). The large pocket holds name cards-I have each girls name on them. When they do a job, they put one of their name cards in the pocket of the job they did. They are required to do 4 jobs per week (this increases by 2 each year), and any jobs beyond the required 4 will earn them money. Jobs that I expect are not on the chart (make your bed, feed the animals, etc). I rarely have to pay any allowance, and if they think they need money, they are welcome to earn it. I have the chart so they can choose what they do, hoping it will not bore them. Also, I do not know if it their personality, or because of the chart, but they have never refused to do something when I ask them. The chores on the "chart" are: clear table (from dinner), change kitchen trash, set table, dust, fold laundry, load/unload dishwasher, vacuum, and collect upstairs trash. I hope this helps, and good luck!
T.

My 5yr old (almost 6yr)just started allowance. He feeds the dog twice a day, wipes off the table after meals with a vinegar and water cleaner, and takes the compost out every day or as needed. If he does all his chores, he gets $3.00 on Fri. If not, then he gets less money. He can also earn extra money by picking up sticks in the yard, pulling weeds with me, etc. Soon I will start him folding towels too. He is required to make his bed and keep his toys picked up and does not get paid for that. I tell him those things are his personal responsibility, but things that he does to help the whole family can be paid for. He is buying a book from his schools bookfair this week with his own money and he is so proud!!! I told him that I would buy him one book, but if he wanted another, then he would have to pay. It seems to be working for us. Also, I have a 3yr old and I give her $ .50 a week to help me dust!

There is a lot of controversy over paying children for chores. Personally, I picked not to... to me, it's unrealistic to teach a child that she is going to be paid to do her own work -- no one will ever pay me to do my laundry, so I thought that would be a bad way to start them on the road to taking appropriate care of themselves and their stuff. Other parents have equally logical and sensible reasons why they do choose to pay for chores.

When my kids were young, we worked together a lot -- everyone helping make dinner, everyone helping with the laundry, everyone helping clean up the playroom, etc. Rather than assigned chores, I mean. I personally prefer to work alongside someone doing one task rather than working alone on one thing while someone else works on another. I know this is my preference, but one benefit I saw from this was that no one stood in protest that they had the gross job and everyone else was getting to do the fun stuff.

As time went on, we ended up negotiating a variety of ways of sharing the work which changed as our lifestyle changed. When the kids were out a lot, classes, organizations, sports, etc., I went back to doing most of the housework (which I still do, as I'm the one here the most). They know how, and readily pitch in whenever I'm doing something and they're around... which pretty much covers the reasons I ever wanted them involved: to learn how, and to do it when they could, without any sense that it was anyone's other than their job to do.

The best list I found for age approrate chores was in a parenting mag about 6 or 7 years ago. I had a disagreement with my ex husbands ex about chores. between use we had 4 children a small house I believe that children need to be taught responsibility from an early age. My youngest is now 8 and he is responsible for unloading the dishwasher, his room, feeding and watering rabbits, chickens, dogs and cats. He mows the lawn on a rider or push mower with supervison. He can vacumn dust sweep etc. I also believe my boys need to know how to do house work, laundry and cook. They do not recieve allowance only for extra chores they are not required to do daily or weekly.
One piece of advise make sure your husband is on board with this and follows through with things. My oldest is messed up now because of my ex and changing the rules while I was at work.

Hi,
I have 4 kids 13, 6, 4 and 3. My 13 year old does dishes daily either load or unload the dishwasher which ever needs to be done first I normally do the other. He also folds the bath towels every other week...I have so many I only wash them that often. He also takes the trash out on trash day.

My younger kids all help fold washcloths and hand towels. I also require them to pick up all the toys in the living room before bed. The 6 year old helps with yard work once a week in the summer, raking, pulling weeds, stuff like that.

As far as hanging up thier bath towel and brushing teeth and other daily tasks my kids do that but I don't consider those types of things "chores". That is just hygine in my house. I do not pay my kids to help out. I feel like they need to help out in the house they live in. If I pay them, who's paying me?!?! I do however give them privliges such as a move or ice cream at the dairy if they get things done with out giving me back talk or a hard time about doing thier work. My rule is we all live here we all take care of what needs to be done. Hope this helps!

My step daughter is 9 years old. She takes the garbage to the road. She's been doing that for a year or more. She helps recycle. She helps clean the end and coffee tables in the living room. Keep her room clean. She puts dishes in the dish washer. She puts her clothes away once cleaned. I assist when checking for sizes, she helps bag stuff for the Good Will. I try and stay clear of the pay idea. I mention to them you must do your part for the family house work. They help create the mess they can sure help clean it up. I also mention you are allowed to go to school and girlscout events for being heplful. Sometimes it takes alot of reminders but I try and be consistent with everything. We have a 20 month old as well I don't expect her to help with to much but she does keep her occupied at times when needed.
Good Luck!

Hi D.,

I have an 8 y/o daughter and for awhile it was just her and me when she was younger. So I had her do "chores" and help out around the house. I would have her do little things like set/clear the table, (she would take care of everything and put the dishes in the sink and I would load the dish washer and clean up the kitchen) She would also do little things like dust, (not well) pick up around the house. Whatever I needed done, then I would give her a list of things for her own room, make bed, keep clean, hang up towel. Now that she's older she still has the samethings, except some have moved to her little sister (4) and she helps cook dinner and stuff, but I want her to be able to cook and understand food. But now she sweeps the hard wood floors. I always think of all the things I do to clean and then break it down to the easy stuff she can do. If you write down what you do you'd be surprised about what she can do.
Good Luck with the chores!