Somebody please tell me how I can help my nephew and his son!
Joey, my great nephew, is 10 years old and suffers from severe autism. His father is a single parent, disabled from an auto accident and gets around just OK with his pain management program, but takes a minimum of pain meds in order to be focused enough to care for his son. He does not want to see the boy institutionalized, but the child is quickly becoming uncontrollable. Lately Joey has been getting into everything -non stop! Groceries last one day-any quantity. If it comes in a box it is poured on the floor. If it is made of plastic it gets melted in the toaster, soda pop gets poured into the coffee maker. As fast as you can pick it up something else takes its place. He can get into all the high places, pick the passage locks, and now even the slide bolt locks placed out of his reach have been circumvented- he throws his weight against the hollow doors until the fasteners pop from the flexing of the door skin. He rarely sleeps and potty training has been forgotten, he just plops it out wherever he is. A little recent history...Last fall they came to Tampa so that Joey could attend a new charter school for children like himself. While they were moving, the transmission in their car failed. On a fixed income and absorbing the costs of the move, there was no way to have the vehicle repaired. The school had not budgeted for transportation even though their charter requires them to provide transportation for students living withing 4 miles (Joey qualifies). Initially they provided a taxi cab to get Joey to and from school and he was doing very well. After a few months though, they stopped providing the transportation. After much back and forth with the school board people, they moved Joey to a public school and he rides the school bus with the other children - which is extremely difficult for Joey and he has been disruptive on the long ride home. As Joey grows bigger and stronger it is only a matter of time until his father will no longer be able to keep the upper hand...it's slipping fast as it is. Without some kind of outside help I don't see how my nephew can continue this. I honestly feel that both father and son would be happier with Joey in a residential facility, but how do I tell my nephew that? He has given up everything to try to keep his son at home.
I know of a school in Tampa that might be able to help. I am in the process of helping them financially. I don't know if there would be a fit but Feel free to give me a call at
727-510-111
Sandi
There are organizations out there for autism. I suggest contacting them for help.
A website you can go on,www,bodyecology.com. Donna Gates has done a lot of work with autism. There are many factors contributing to this unfortunate condition. Diet and mercury toxity to name a couple.
I hope this will help.
Dear L.,
One person who would be worth talking to to help you and your nephew explore options is Dr. David Berger. http://www.wholisticpeds.com/
He is a pediatrician specializing in autism and related disorders on the spectrum. He does not take insurance, but perhaps something could be worked out on a reduced fee (?) so that your nephew could at least consult with him regarding his son.
Best of luck you and your family,
K.
Some ideas.
1. Your nephew should talk to his son's teacher and the ESE specialist at his school. They may have ideas on managing behavior that he could use.
2. Also through the school, ask about agencies that can help. There's respite care, among other things, out there for the asking (and waiting on a long waiting list, and doing lots of paperwork, but your ESE specialist should be able to help or refer you to someone who can.
3. Tough love for your nephew. If he cannot prevent the child from harming himself or others, the sad and reprehensible truth is that he is liable for the consequences.
In plain English - getting in over his head with a child he cannot control enough to keep safe can, unjust as it may be, land him in court. At that point (which I hope never comes) he will have no options. If he acts now and he can choose the home, the location, and to maintain a close relationship with his son.
Hello L.... yikes, your nephew has quite an exceptional challenge with his life!!! We have a 14 year-old son with Down Syndrome and feel so blessed that he has an incredibly gentle personality. It's commendable that you are trying so hard to help Joey! Not sure what your home-based business is but is Joey getting any special nutritional supplements that might possibly help his mental clarity and focus? Please check-out expectdreams.com and see if you think the unique chocolates and the shakes could help Joey get better control of his emotions and his actions, and his Daddy's pain.
"God Bless You All"! Sincerely, D. M.
before you resort to a residential facility, look into signing up for developmental services for the child. it will help the father as well.
is the boy verbal? you may be able to explain things to him in very simple terms.
for schooling - talk to the county about having him tutored at home. this will be in his best interests as the bus ride is extremely trying (it is for my 11 year old son too). i think the acting out is due to the stress he is feeling with the bus ride and new school, etc. my son acts out too when he is overly stressed.
has the boy been signed up for SSD? he should qualify. talk to Easter Seals about services - they may be able to help in ways that we haven't thought of.
i agree that it may be necessary for the child to be placed in a residential facility - but only as a last resort.
i know where of i speak - mine is 11 and even though he is verbal, he can be very hard to control sometimes too.
talk to all children's hospital behavioral pediatric specialist - they do take most insurances.
i took my son off carbs, sugars, milk, yeast, etc - no sodas. this helped straighten out a lot of his behavior problems. i found his limits - he can have so much over a month - and then it gets ugly.
Check out this website. Very useful. Good Luck
I dont know a lot about autism. But, I am a massage therapist. I work with a chiropractor. It sounds as if your nephew needs more treatment than pain medication. I would recommend him to see a chiropractor. Maybe if he was feeling better physically without the meds. He may be better able to help out his son. It's tough when your in pain to deal with others, especially his son.
