What Are Some of the Ways You Get Your Children to Do Things They Don't Want To?

BRIBE THEM!!! really it works. I would tell her no cartoons without getting dressed first and if she refuses just stick to it. she will eventually want to watch cartoons or play out side etc. but she first has to understand that the first thing we do in the mornings besides the usuall is to get dressed to start the day out. i use to tell my 3 year old lets see who can get dressed first and who ever does gets to pick a fun activity to do. It allways got him motivated to do it. Most the time. Good Luck!

I agree that some of the options you're giving her are providing her with too much independence and stripping you of some of yours as a mother.

In the case of getting dressed, I think you're doing a good job to give her options and letting her choose, but instead of saying she can get dressed after the cartoon is done, I wouldn't let her watch it until she's gotten dressed.

We have this battle with our 3.5 year old almost every morning. He does not get to watch his morning cartoon until he's gone to the bathroom, gotten dressed and brushed his teeth. No negotiation. He knows it's a treat for doing what is expected of him.

My only other suggestion is to start rewarding her for all the things she's doing really well. If she's particularly cooperative with putting toys away (for example), give her lots of verbal praise for how good she is and perhaps offer a treat (going to the library, going to the park when the weather improves, a sticker, etc).

One thing that our son's current class at daycare does that has really been great for him is a "Tree of Kindness" - that's just what they call it. Basically, they have a laminated tree outside the classroom onto which they put seasonal decorations when they do something really kind to a classmate. If he helps another kid clean-up, he gets a snowflake, etc. He loves seeing it decorated with his name.

Maybe something like that will help her want to be more cooperative. In the end, she needs to learn that you're the parent and her job as a kid is to respect your authority. By being consistent and not giving into her, she'll quickly understand the difference between listening to Mommy and playing with Mommy.

Good luck.

My son always wants to watch a cartoon in the morning, too. Make her get dressed before she gets anything she wants! Don't even turn on the cartoon until she is completely dressed. I do agree that it is good to give choices...but in the morning when everything is rushed and hectic, giving choices is not worth ruining the whole morning.
I tell my son, "okay, time to get dressed" and he'll scream "thomas thomas thomas" over and over, or "milk milk milk" or "vite vite vite" [for his morning vitamin], but I always tell him "you need to get dressed first" and as long as you NEVER give in, it will work.
Now taking that approach all of the time will lead to serious power struggles and stronger defiance, but in cases where she is manipulating you and pushing a little bit more and a little bit more, I think it is good to set that boundary. And getting what she wants AFTER complying is a good reward system too

Hi. I understand your issue. My daughter is 3.5 and very independent (which I don't think is a bad quality....this kid will be running the country some day)...I just wrote a question for creative ideas on how to make getting out the door easier, because she's so busy, and I got a few really nasty replies, so I'm glad those people haven't replied to you yet, but be prepared (for the record, I don't think that the "shut up and obey" method of parenting they suggested for me is going to work in the long run for them...it might be easy now because their kids are afraid of them, but wait until they are teenagers...and ax murderers!!). So I think you are on the right track...try to stay creative and positive. I don't have any great ideas, although a sticker on her shirt or a stamp on her hand may be great for her, or she might not care...every kid is different, and as soon as you find something that works, they change again :) I know that when my daughter was resisting tooth brushing, a hand puppet brushing her teeth worked wonders. If you say "let's hurry and get dressed so you can watch your show" and make that the habit, then this issue may go away (my daughter is usually dressed long before I am these days), but there will be another behind it :) Check out this website for ideas
http://www.incaf.com/index.html
Good luck :)

As tough as it is, it seems to me that you are doing all the right things. I know frustration takes over sometimes!

I just have 1 idea - my 2 1/2-yr-old is exactly the same. For getting dressed in the morning, I give him the choice of eating breakfast 1st or getting dressed 1st. Really, what's a few more minutes in a diaper (unless it's poopy). Like you, I don't let him watch his favorite cartoon until both are accomplished.

I feel your pain!

I think you've done great already. I only have one two year old, so my ideas are slim.

For him, I've done the same as you, giving two choices. Perhaps the third choice is no tv, or no "Sesame Street" at all that day if she can't obey. On the tv thing - why not turn it completely off instead of on pause. She probably knows that "pause" means she'll get it soon. "Off" means I may not get it back at all.

I've also tried being silly "Roar like a lion while I brush your teeth."

I've heard to set a timer and make picking up toys a game. "Let's see how fast we can put them all in the box." My son liked watching ME scramble around on the floor. I'll try that one again another time.

My husband bribed my son to eat another bite of food by giving him one Smartie candy. "Do you want this smartie? Eat another bite of your fork." and he got one smartie for each forkfull. (I am taking the smarties away Today though, as this will be a horrible habit to start, I know.)

When I taught, it helped my 2nd grade autsitc boy when I held up two fingers giving him the two choices. He looked back and forth from the two fingers as if really deciding. (Of course, he pushed my two fingers down and said "none").

The best thing I learned about getting kids to do what they need to do is to have a routine. I knew it was good to have a routine that kids could count on (we have breakfast, then go to school, etc.), but I never thought about the fact that even washing your hands after going to the bathroom is a routine. So now, when my kids get home from school, the routine is they take their shoes off, hang up coats, empty backpacks & hang the backpacks up. After a few weeks, it became a habit for them, like washing hands after using the bathroom. So I think if you stick with your chart, it will eventually become a routine for her and you won't even have to remind her to look at the chart. Just be sure to stick with the routine, even if you don't stick with the chart!

Classic problem! You want your kiddo to do what you ask without having to be rewarded or get something in return for doing what she is supposed to do. I find sticker charts or reward systems do work well with my kiddo. We still have the problems other kids and parents do but its all about shaping behavior. I was constantly tripping over my kids shoes and having to clean up her dishes after meals. I made a sticker chart and had her put her shoes in the closet when we got home and put her dishes in the sink after meals. She got a sticker each day for her accomplishments. I gave her a sticker immediately after she competed her task. Eventually she would do it without me asking and eventually she didnt need her sticker reward. You can do the same thing with a behavior chart. Every time she complies without throwing a fit or saying no she gets a sticker (or a small reward) and at the end of the week or if she gets a certain amount she can trade the stickers for a small prize of her choice. Hope this helps!

Take her out in her pajamas! Hopefully she won't like it and it will cure the problem. My daughter went through this much later - in kindergarten! I dropped her off at the door in her pj's with her clothes in a bag. I called the school as soon as she was out of the car and explained the situation. They were very accommodating and let her get dressed before heading to class but it never happened again!

If your just going to the grocery store or running an errand, what could it hurt? Have her clothes with you in case she decides she needs to get dressed before she goes in with you.

Perhaps with the clothes dressing issue, you should alter your method. Giving her choices is a great way to avoid the "no" response, and a fantastic way to help alleviate tantrums and your child's feelings of having no control. But with this one particular issue, it sounds like choices aren't cutting it. So, I say eliminate the choices on this one. When it is time for getting dressed TELL her that "as soon as ___ (you get your shoes on, you brush your teeth, whatever it is that you are about to do - or something she is doing, whichever), then it will be time to get dressed." And then help her get dressed.
It may be less about control with this issue, than it is about transitioning from one activity to another. She is involved in the here and now, and that is all that is on her mind. This seems like the age where they start having issues about leaving the playground, too. So give her some "clues" that something is about to happen, and then when she is actively involved you can let her have her choices...
For example: You tell her that Mommy is putting on her shoes, and then it will be time for dear daughter to get dressed. You put on your shoes in front of her, then you say "okay, now it is time for you to get dressed. Let's go pick out your socks!" Then you go and give her a choice or two about what she will wear...
I have found (over many failed experiments) that having the TV on AT ALL during the mornings just creates more issues. I tried using it as an incentive (once you are ready you can watch Arthur until time to go) and that didn't work, as one child would be ready and the other wouldn't... Or, they wouldn't want to leave because they wanted to see the end... or.... or or or... it just didn't work.

This must be a phase because my daughter is the same age and we barely keep her diaper on. Its like we get home from day care and she either wants her pajamas on or she runs around nude! She even shakes her little booty and says, "I naked!" I choose my battles with her and let her be naked when she wants (although this has backfired on me and she has started undressing in public). But it has helped her with potty training! Usually I try to bribe her with movies, candy, snacks, things she likes. A lot of times she’ll ask for something and I will say, “Yeah. Lets go get fruit snacks, but first but on your underwear.” They are so easily distracted and redirected at this age!

Reward chart. Full it up for doing daily chores and on Saturday go to the dollar store as a treat!