Well, He Pooped Once on the Potty but Refuses to Do It Again!!! Help!!!!

Dear Kris,
I tried the M AND M'S too and they didn't work . I started using chocolate chip cookies and peices of a hershey bar. It worked.

Went through that this summer. We had opur son look in a toy magazine/flier from Toys R Us or Wal-Mart and choose something that looked wonderful to him. (It was a bubble mower. I cut out the picture and glued it to the top of a piece of constuction paper. Every poopie in the potty earned a star. To get the mower, he had to earn 10 stars. It actually worked. No pressure, but something he could control the outcome of, too. He did it. Got the mower and still talks about how hard he worked to get it.

I used a toy that we really wants as a prize. I put it where he could see it, but not have it. Tell him when he poops in the potty 5 times, he gets the toy. Each time he poops, put a sticker on the mirror, until he gets the toy.
Also, if he's sitting on the big potty (that's where we trained) use the potty seat with handles. I think that makes them feel more secure to have something to hang onto.
Another thing that might help is big boy underware with characters he likes. He may try harder not to poop on Mater.
Next step... teaching him to push his "willy" down when he goes poop so he doesn't spray the bathroom walls. :-)
Good luck!

I wanted to let you know you are not alone. My 3 year old has a similar story, he has pooped on the potty twice, but I think it must have been a total accident. He still poops in his pants or waits until we put a diaper on him.
I have been told to just let it go he will do it in due time.

I own a daycare and we have parents trying to do the same thing, pressure, coerce, embarass their children into pooping or peeing in the potty and the child just goes further the other way. I believe that just like with walking or talking, that children will do what they see done. They know what you are doing--I tell the kids, "hmm, I wonder if Mommy and Daddy poop in their diaper." AND ALWAYS, they tell me---"Mommy doesn't wear a diaper, she goes to the potty." I have a one year old that can walk across the room but can't push himself up from the floor. Will he be unable to do that forever--NO! Before too long he will do it. He won't crawl and then pull up and then walk around when he is 3. Children will potty train. Why make it a bad experience!?! I encourage and ask, but I don't want to belittle or argue about it. We do reward when it happens, we recognize it but try not to pressure it. And pooping is usually harder for boys for some reason!!

We did matchbox cars for a poop, and it really worked for us. We had to make it something much better than the m&ms for peeing. It wasn't as hard as I thought to stop the cars either! Good luck!

T.

we are going thru kind of the same thing and our dr gave us some great advice: Let it go. leave him alone. we can't make him do something like using the bathroom, so let it go. just wait til he's ready. i know this is frustrating, but he may not be physically or emotionally ready. the more it becomes a "big ordeal" the less likely he will be to do it. order some more diapers at diapers.com so you get a good deal, slap one on him, and throw out the m&m's. let him do it on his own time, and it will be a non-issue, and over in about a week.

Hi Kris:

I went through a similar situation with my little boy. He was totally potty trained, but just didn't like going poopy in the potty. I know it sounds horrible, but I just treated him like he was totally potty trained. I didn't put a pull up on him except at bed time. If he had an accident - it was totally disgusting and he hated it. "SO DID I" But, the main thing is to be patient and use whatever encouragement you can. I think what happens is they become reliant on a pull up and know that it isn't that messy and mommy will take care of it. Just putting them in underwear for a while will help - JCPenny's has thick cotton underwear for potty training (no one else carries them) We ended up buying him a "SpiderMan Outfit" when he finally got it down, but it took several hard weeks. Now that he has it down though, he never has accidents of any kind. But, again, just be patient and don't get frustrated with him - it's not his fault. Good Luck !!!

One thing I've read that helps is, make sure his feet are on the floor (actually, better yet, on a little stool; it mimics the squatting position which makes pooping very easy). Also, keep him company and make it very positive for him. Not just the result, but the process :) Sing him songs, make it silly. Also, if he's having a hard time, have him blow his nose while he pushes. That makes it surprisingly easy.

Of course, the easier it is physically, the more likely he will be to keep it up.

Good luck!
L.

Please never try to coerce your children to do something in this manner. Humiliation or embarrassment are not bargaining tools. Even a three year old can be modest and knows they should be clothed. Even if he's not modest, he knows he's supposed to be clothed. Obviously it was not a positive experience for him and we all know how frustrating it can be in wanting them to potty train. Take him to the bathroom with you several times during the day and while you're sitting on the toilet, have him sit on his potty and look at a book. See if he too can tee-tee or poop. If not, get up and pull up all undies. Try again the next time. This is done in a calm manner and soon it will be 2nd nature to him to go to the bathroom when needed.

Calm down! Why is it such a big deal? Who has the problem here. It just isn't important to him right now. Keep being patient and leading him to the potty. When you stress out about it, your child gets stressed and avoids the stressful activity. Boys just take longer generally than girls to potty train.