Weight Struggles - Bellmore,NY

Updated on December 15, 2012
A.F. asks from Bellmore, NY
19 answers

Looking for some motivational advice to lose weight. For a long time now, my clothes have become very tight and everyday I get dressed I am unhappy with my weight. I am not extremely overweight but at least 15-20 pounds too much. My bras have recently become really tight and I am frustrated with that too.

I try to go to the gym but when I do go, I always end up eating a lot of sweets (mainly cookies or ice cream.) I cannot have this stuff in my house but when I don't have junk in my house, I end up buying it.

My husband and I have been talking about having a second baby (we have one daughter, age 3 1/2) but I know in my heart I need to lose at least ten pounds before getting pregnant. I fear gaining any more weight when my clothes are very tight right now.

I know I need to follow some kind of weight loss program (I need a support group) but I have joined Weight Watchers so many times and hate counting points. I need to also lose weight in order to feel better about myself. I get really down on myself about the way my clothes feel..

Can anyone give me some advice on how to finally follow through on a weight loss program. Thank you.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone who responded to my post. I know it comes down to really being ready to lose the weight. For me I have always been up and down all my life. That doesn't mean I can't change now at almost 37 years old.

And I know friends, family and people like you who I do not know can try to motivate me but at the end of the day, it is up to me. Whether I go back to Weight Watchers or try something else, the point is to follow the program and not quit so easily. Thank you!

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

The only way you will follow through with a weight loss plan is if YOU truly commit to it. No one else can convince you, cajole you, or tell you how to get motivated. You will simply have to get to a point where you are ready and then you will do it.

1 mom found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

I hated weight watchers for the exact same reason. Instead I decided to concentrate on getting a minimum of 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day. More veggies = less junk in my house. I lost 15 lbs this year by making that small change.

1 mom found this helpful

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

1) Walk.

Walking is one of THE most effective forms of exercise for weight loss. And you don't need a sitter

- Long walks = stroller (or if you have a kid like mine, they run whilst I walk!)
- Park in the furthest stall from the store, school, etc.
- Walk around the block before eating (this is a keeee-razy one. Stops snacking in its tracks)

Generally, if you work your way up to walking 3-5 miles every day, you'll drop 1-2 sizes from where you were... Eating the same things... Not walking.

2) Eat the same... More OFTEN.

Split your breakfast in half. Eat Half now, and half in 3 hours. THAT WON'T HAPPEN the first couple dozen times. Half now, and the other half in 30 minutes is FINE in the beginning. Ditto Lunch & Dinner. It will feel like you're eating constantly when you're eating every 3 hours, instead of every 5-6 hours... But its the same food. And it kick starts your metabolism into thinking you're in the land of milk and honey... So it stops hoarding calories. Same food, but your body "keeps" less of it.

((Hint: Standard dieting is what underweight people do to GAIN weight. Restricting calories & skipping meals puts your metabolism into starvation mode. So it hoards. Think of the food you eat as 100. In an average day, it keeps 50. Trick it into thinking you've won the lottery, and it 'spends' fairly carelessly. Only keeping 25, just in case. Make it think calories are scarce, and it will keep 75.))

3) If you're craving sweets... Have sex more often. Yup.

Really. More people should know this.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.J.

answers from Eau Claire on

After 2nd child I was feeling the same way. I was never obese but was about 30 pounds overweight. Once I was finally in the right mindset that I WAS going to do this, it became so simple that I didn't know why I had failed so many times before. You can't be battling yourself, you just have to make a decision to eat healthy and do it. That simple. Don't think of it as a diet but that this is the way you eat now so that you can look the way you want to. I know it sounds cliche, but it really is true. I did Weight Watchers and loved it, but I understand about the counting. Really the whole point of WW is to get you to make conscious decisions of what you are putting into your mouth. If you can do that without counting, such as a food diary, then try that. What program and decision you make isn't nearly as important as sticking with it. I know how tough it can be (I have a size 0 sister who doesn't have to try, grrr) but trust me, if I can do it ANYONE can...seriously!! Good Luck!
On a side note, I would wait to lose weight until after baby #2. Remember how hard it is to stick to healthy foods between all the morning sickness and cravings? It can be discouraging to lose a bunch of weight just to gain it back, even if it is baby weight...pregnant brain isn't always logical lol.. If it were me I'd pop out that baby and then focus on my weight ;)

1 mom found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

myfitnesspal.com is a neat online and mobile application. Just like other weight loss applications, you put in your current weight and your goal. It calculates a daily calorie goal, and then you can track your daily food and exercise. What's different is that at the end of every day, it says..."If every day were like today, you would weigh XXX lbs in 5 weeks". That's pretty powerful, to think about a 5 week change. You're able to see clearly what a "good day" looks and feels like, and what a "bad day" looks like. And having a daily reminder to stay on track is great. You can also have friends who join with you who can see your food and exercise diary and who can encourage you, or offer subsitutions & coaching.
You have to stick to it. Meal Plan ahead of your weekly grocery shopping. If you have to buy ice cream, buy an individual portion 1x week instead of a pint or 1/2 gallon. Enjoy it as a treat, but cut it out of your routine. Replace nightly snacking with a trip to the gym or an evening walk.

1 mom found this helpful

S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

What about setting goals for yourself. If you loose a lb, you get a award. Start small and end big. A new dress, a vacation LOL , or massage or something. Also, you need a buddy ! Weight Watchers is a great support and accountability to yourself and showing up to a meeting. It helps a lot. I did great in that setting, but once I fall short of the accountability, I am back on my own habits. It is a tough thing. But I found that if you stick with it for 3 or 4 weeks, it starts to be routine. So encourage yourself in intising yourself.

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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

I think you answered some of your own questions.
Don't buy junk food. If it's not in your house, you can't eat it.
Mark on the calendar 3 or 4 days a week you'll go to the gym each week, and do so. Classes are best as they push you.
These two things ought to do wonders!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.E.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I can relate as I find that, at least for the first few weeks that I get back to the gym, my appetite shoots up. I've never found that exercise makes me less hungry - it's always the opposite. However, if you can stick it out past that 5-week point (the point where my enthusiasm always start to wane), the exercise routine will become a habit and a regular part of your day. Perhaps you can make some connections with other women who are at the gym when you are - the extra socialization can make it more fun and more likely that you'll stick to going. Also, anything you can do to eliminate or change patterns that you've always associated with poor eating habits - standing at the counter, watching tv, staying up late - and replace them with new activities could help. I also find reading inspirational stories of others who have accomplished and maintained their weight loss to be a big help. Hang in there -- it's not easy, but it is so worth it. Good luck!

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

i am right with you on the "needing motivation" thing...but i do want to say that getting pregnant does not have to worsen your health - you can still (working with your doctor) get on an exercise/diet regimen and end up healthier than you were before you got pregnant. it will help the baby weight come off easier too. and as someone suggested walking - you can do that right up to the very end of your pregnancy. just a thought.

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L.K.

answers from San Francisco on

I totally understand the feeling of wanting to lose weight. I think many of us have been there and can relate.

How come you "hate counting points?" What do you hate about it? Being on any weight loss program requires that you be accountable for your food intake. That will be the only way you will lose weight. You are probably going to need to really want to lose the weight in order to lose it. I know you might be thinking that this is a harsh opinion, but it's true. In my experience, when I'm unsure of something, I make excuses. Sounds to me like you really need to be committed to making this happen.

My suggestion is to research a few different weight loss programs and talk with your doctor to get his/her opinion. Make sure you are healthy and well to do a program and then get started. The hardeset part is making the decision and starting it.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

Get or foster a dog. They insist on being walked. They are a pleasure to be around. You will find yourself walking the dog longer than you would if you set out to walk by yourself. It will force you out of the house at least 2x daily.

Best exercise/ fitness/ weightloss strategy ever.

Also, I second RILEY's eat half strategy.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I restarted Weight Watchers 2 weeks ago. I also hate counting points, but I'm doing it because I have a LOT to lose, and I'd like to have another baby in the next few years. So, I'm counting--not crazy, obsessive counting, but I'm figuring things out.

One thing that I did: went through my entire pantry and fridge and calculated the points plus value of everything that I eat, and wrote it on the package. It makes it SO much easier to make good choices.

Another thing I am doing: I bought a NutriBullet, and have been making fruit and veggie smoothies for my snacks. They are zero points (provided you use just water, not milk or yogurt or sweeteners), but very filling, and I am getting a TON of fruits and veggies each day (between the smoothies and my meals, I am probably getting about 10-12 servings a day.)

The first week on WW I didn't lose anything, but when I weigh in tomorrow, I expect them to tell me I'm down about 5 lbs. That NutriBullet is great, and I am loosely tracking my points. The main thing is that this time around, I'm just being disciplined--not eating the cheesecake my hubby brings home from his work dinners; re-gifting the chocolate we've been sent for Christmas; counting out the # of chips in the serving indicated in the nutritional facts on the package, and not going back for more.

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R.O.

answers from New York on

You don't really need a "diet" plan. You just need to have a control plan.
My wife & I have both lost about 25 pounds over the last 4 months simply by controlling what we eat, & getting only minimal exercise. My wife walks every day during her lunch hour at work. I am on my feet 6-8 hours about 4 days a week at a retail job. I am always on the move. Doing more exercise routines would help us lose even faster. Do what you can.
As far as eating, you need to have some willpower to control how much you eat, & what you eat. But you don't need to cut out anything from what you eat. I eat Oreo cookies (2), a handful (or snack size bag) of M&M's, & a few other "snack size" treats. No donuts, no fast food or eating out ( once in a while is ok). I like to have a burger once in a while. I even have pizza (1-2 slices).
I am not a vegetable person, but I have tried to increase my intake, usually by mixing the veggies with rice & some kind of broth, gravy or other liquid flavoring. I also eat more soup. Chicken soup is the best. Amazing as it sounds, I also eat peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, sometimes during the day, & eat it as my snack while at work.
It also helps if your husband or someone else is doing this with you & encouraging each other. Diets are depressing & impossible to keep doing for any length of time because they make you stop eating what you like. It is easier to just control how much you eat, that way your body & brain don't feel like you are missing out on anything.
Good luck at losing weight & on having your next baby. You can do it!

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

I have tried WW, it was ok.. but like you, I too got tired of counting points.
I would also add that I think it's the other way around, as you begin to feel better about yourself, you will lose the weight...

In addition to WW, I have done a raw diet, lots of exercise, less carbs... and while I think nutrition is definitely very important, I think until a person gets the emotional, mental and spiritual on point (at least for me) than just working on losing weight from the outside in really doesn't work too well or isn't as long lasting..

For the last two months I have been working the OA (overeaters anonymous) 12 step program. So far, in 9 works, down about 8 lbs.. doesn't like much , but it's almost a lb a week...

working OA has been the hardest program I have ever worked in my life.. It's so much more than losing weight, in fact, losing weight has been the easier part, it's all the other stuff that comes with it... working a 12 step really means you get down to the bottom of things and examine why it is you eat compulsively... Not only have I discovered how compulsively I have reached for food, but how that compulsion lends itself to other aspects of my life.. such as my compulsion to over give and or over invite people to functions and or to my house.. In some peoples' eyes, you might think, what does that stuff have to do with eating... in my case, WOW........ revelation.. it's all wrapped into one...and apparently, I am a compulsive person...

if you think OA might be for you.. you can check out the oa.org << answer the questions online and see if it sounds like you are a compulsive over-eater... the site is completely free.. it also has some good recovery stories on there under " life-line" .... if anything, those are worth a read..

Since being in OA... I feel more clear minded, energetic, and more hopeful about weightloss than I have in so many years..

For once, going into the holidays, I haven't told myself.. ok, I will eat what I want this holiday and then start fresh the day after.. Also, I haven't rationalized my over-giving with, well.... I just like to give nice presents. Instead, this year, I am not exchanging gifts with adult friends or family.. and something else..I am only serving ONE dessert at Christmas time.... I just don't want all that gluttony (nor do some of my guests) ..

for the first time in years, I don't have that blah , ugh feeling of my clothes don't fit or nothing looks good and what will I wear at Christmas.. For me, not having some of those negative feelings, means I get to feel better about me............. While I am on this journey for a lifetime and no where near healed... I feel that I am on the right track...

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best...

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G.D.

answers from Detroit on

I was morbidly obese my entire life. When I had my third child I was 394 lbs and borderline diabetes. Tried all kinds of programs/ diets. My OBGYN didn't give me a hard time or a diet to follow. He just said that I had to change for myself and the baby. All whole grains, no sugar. That's what I did and by the time I had her I was down to 250. Then I got serious and started the gym with a friend. Stopped at 160 and my daughters 4 now. I get exercise when I can. If the kids ride bikes I run, sprint, or walk. I walk the dog. If I want something sweet (rare) I have sugar free ice cream bars.

You really CAN just make small changes and they start to snowball.

I still buy junk (hubby can't live without it), but have no desire to touch it.

S.H.

answers from New York on

I would recommend starting with small changes. Small changes AND working out every day. Do it at home. Maybe gym is triggering a need for a reward. Do it for 10 minutes a day. My favorite workout DVDs are from exhale spa series. I got them in a library so I could check them Out and I recommend you do the same to find what you like. When you get more ambitious , try the Shred. It will get you in a much better shape.

As far as sweets go, try buying something you don't lo love. For example, my biggest weakness is ice cream. So I buy chocolate now which I don't like all that much. This way I can have some desert but I can stop atter a small piece because I don't love it.

Good luck. Figure out what you are doing and do it. Even if you fail every day, restart every day. Do try to resist temptation of course and notice when you give in and why. And then restart again.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Find a free online food diary and find out how many calories you are consuming.
My Dr told me 1200 calories a day and a calorie is a calorie - in the end it doesn't matter if it's fat, carb or protein.
Drink plenty of water - eight 8 oz glasses a day is not hard to do if you drink every few hours.
Fiber helps you feel full.
A daily vitamin will keep your nutrition balanced.
Exercise is not bad but it's too easy to undo what you burnt off.
A gym session can burn off maybe 300 calories and a few cookies will put it right back on.
I find for me that exercise stimulates my appetite and does not help me lose weight.
It's great for my heart, blood pressure, circulation and a lot of other things but a mile walk 3 times a week is a good level of activity for me.
Don't walk down the junk food aisle in the store.
If you want this badly enough, you'll find a way to do it.
Good luck!

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A.N.

answers from New York on

Of course you should exercise but if you can't right now and you want to take the edge off...maybe after xmas....back in my 30s I lost about 9 or 10 pounds in a couple of weeks on south beach diet. Kept it off easily and was at size zero for years. Now, after 2 kids, at 41, my body could care less about that diet and unfortunately does not respond to dropping carbs. It has been SO frustrating. So, after seeing a few women at my office lose like 10 pounds in 10 days, I just tried Reboot your Life (never did the straight juicing part though). Have lost about 5 within a couple of weeks but the cool thing is that the scale is finally heading in the right direction and I am eating a ton of veggies. And even though it's vegetarian, i have had a ton of energy. bizarre. It's labor intensive (because I have been making one juice per day along with the other meals), and frankly buying that many fruits and veggies is expensive. But I just started adding eggs in the morning instead of the fruit, and a teensy bit of protein throughout the day. Check it out and maybe just do the dinners (stuffed squash, veggie soups). Also, I dropped the crystal lite and diet soda and swapped it for flavored seltzer and herbal tea. The herbal tea has been awesome for curbing hunger. Last advice, maybe wait til after Xmas. I know moderation is key but when the stupid scale won't budge and you are already a healthy eater, your body needs something to shake it up. Maybe one of these programs could help. I only have 5-10 more to go but I know how utterly awful it is to not like what you see in the mirror!

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I struggle with portion control. Weight Watchers is good because you can eat anything as long as you stay within the points, and it really teaches portion control. But if counting points is too daunting, then try taking whatever you normally eat and cut it in half. You will likely be hungry for a few days, but your stomach will adjust. Also drink TONS of water. This will flush out your system and help you feel full. I drink a large glass of ice cold water before every meal. Eating a red apple right before a meal also helps with portion control too.

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