Wedding....unity Candle...3 Moms

Updated on December 17, 2011
D.C. asks from Gresham, OR
5 answers

So my step son is getting married on Sunday. He said he wants the moms to light the unity tapers. He told me that he also wants me to be involved in doing this. I was thrilled beyond belief. My question is.....Has anybody ever had three moms light the unity tapers or has anybody ever seen it done. I thought all three moms could carry a candle as they walk down the aisle and then when we all get to are seats then we could proceed up to the unity candle tapers and light the candles. His mom and myself lighting one together and the brides mom lighting hers. I think this is a great idea except there is the chance that our candles will blow out as we walk down the aisle. I guess we could all carry a small cigarette lighter...just in case. lol. My other thought would be that we all carry a unlit candle or just have unlit candles waiting for us at the unity candles table and then have a small votive candle waiting behind a flower arrangement (unseen) and then we can use this votive candle to light our individual candles and then we proceed to light the tapers.
I know this is going to be unconventional situation but it really means alot that he asked me to be involved, so I want it to go smoothly. Thanks for any suggestions.

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to tell everyone that the wedding turned out perfect. Although I think the lighting of the unity candle by all three moms took the most practice at the rehersal. lol. Anyway the way we did it was to have a small pre-lit unity candle sitting behind the larger unity candle. All three moms walked down the aisle as they normally would. As a sign that the main event was about to happen the officiant asked all moms to come forward and light the individual candles. So the brides mom, my step sons mom and myself all stepped up to the table, each lit our own candle and placed them on the table. Then we returned to our chairs and the wedding continued. During the ceremony when it was time for the bride and groom to light the unity candle, the bride used her candle that her mom had lit and the groom took the other two candles and used them both at the same time. So basically all three flames were used to light the one unity candle. It worked out perfectly. As for my step mom having an issue, according to my step son, she didn't have a choice in the matter. He said either she would deal with it or not. And in all reality she really didn't have time to make a stink about it because he didn't tell her what was happening until the rehearsal night, he said he did it that way so she wouldn't have time to give him a guilt trip.

More Answers

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

I think this is such a lovely idea!

Here's a thought: Are the Bride and Groom going to be lighting a candle together?

Perhaps you could carry your candles up and the Groom's mommas light "his" candle, and the Bride's mommas light hers.

Then the Bride and Groom will light the big candle with the candles you mommas lit. :-) Such a nice analogy, really...you mommas bring your children life and raise them to adulthood, and then they come together as one.

4 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I am sure that an experienced bridal/wedding consultant has faced this issue before. There are gay couples that have children so I am sure there are instances where 2 moms on one side and one mom on the other is one of those things that have been done before.

Good luck on the wedding, they are so much fun!

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Usually, there are already candles burning nearby & you light yours from that O., right? At the altar?

Sounds really nice! Congrats!

M..

answers from Detroit on

As long as Mom is ok with it, you guys will work out a way.

Some moms wont be willing to share their sons on this day, well besides with the bride, so be prepared for that. Unless shes real cool and an understanding person. Some are not.

Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Usually the big main candle is lit and then the mother's light their candle from the main candle.

You carry the unlit candles, light them, and set them. Yes, two mom's can light two candles or hold one candle together.

PS...in tight situations, the burning candles interrupt the focus of the candle!

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