I've read this request for a day or so and kept quiet.
What is the big deal for a "ceremony" that you can't afford? Why go into debt for a "ceremony"?
I don't "get it". I know I am different...I am a believer in no debt...
I COMPLETELY understand that some people can't be "married" without the big deal.
If you don't have the money to spare and you have children to care for then it appears to me that you are putting $$ in a priority where it does not need to be. If children are already in the picture...THEY are the priority.
I admire you for wanting a ceremony to involve children, etc. Do it at a JP office with some flowers and be sentimental about it. Don't be materialistic if you can't afford to do so.
MANY weddings and tons of good advice are listed here for budget friendly.... I guess my rant is that WHY go into debt anymore when you don't HAVE to??
Delayed gratification is hard for some people to swallow but I guarantee if you participate in it...you will be much further along in the long run $$ wise.
In no way do I mean to be offensive...I belive a sentimental ceremony can be very nice and worthwhile.
I myself elpoed 21 yrs ago (at age 26)to a JP office vs a big wedding (that my mom dreamed of). Yes, she is still hurt to this day...HOWEVER, we never went into debt from day 1 and we are woefully more stable than my mom and others due to delayed gratification and looking toward the long term.
Look at the BIG picture.....retirement, house, college funds for children, stability and no worries due to overspending. I am fortunate enough to be with a husband who is also very disciplined. We have a lot of nice things...we don't go into debt for them though.. Our deal is...if it can't be paid for in CASH up front...we don't need it.
We are fortunate to have a very nice home, cars, etc all PAID for. We work hard to do this and sacrifice a lot of little things along the way.
You can do it....Keep the long term in your perspective.