Wedding Etiquette - Round Lake,IL

Updated on August 30, 2010
J.W. asks from Wakarusa, KS
11 answers

We have been invited to a wedding but can not attend. Do we have to send a gift? If so how much?

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

No, you do not have to send a gift. I would probably send a nice 'congrats' card. You do not have to include money or a gift card. Those are completely optional.

1 mom found this helpful

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

If it is a family member or close friend I would send them a card w/ $40-50 or purchase something off their registry if you want to give them something. If you don't want to send anything, that is ok to...gifting is from the heart.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Columbus on

I don't think you have to. I would if it's a close friend or relative but if it's a distant cousin or someone you haven't seen in years, I wouldn't. If you do get a gift, it would have to depend on what your family can afford. I would say $30-$50 is fine.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

You are obligated to answer the invitation, but not to send a gift. Gift-giving is optional.

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

no, a nice RSVP with your sincere good wishes is quite sufficient.
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Lynn M. said it perfectly. You give from the heart. No obligations..

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

It depends, is this you 3rd cousins 2nd marriage or your best friends daughter. It depends on the consequences that will follow you through out your relationship with these people. If it is someone you know and spend time with then you really should send something. If it's someone related how will the family act, if they sent an invitation then they must think you're close, mine would always remember if I came or if I sent a gift. Not that you should give in to their expectations, if you don't want to give a gift then don't.

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B.P.

answers from New York on

Yes, you really should send something. In almost all instances you would spend less than what you would if you went to the wedding. I would go to the registry and send something from there or a gift card (if you want to avoid shipping) from that same store in an amount from $25 to $100 depending of your financial situation and your relationship to the couple. Maybe in some parts of the country it is ok not to or if you are some distant relative of the parent and don't even know the bride or groom, but if you know the couple personally, it would be a little offensive not to.

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

If we don't attend, we don't give a gift. (IF it would be a close relative, then we would still give though.)

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

Yes, it is appropriate to send a modest gift. It doesn't have to be the $50 gift you would give if you were to attend, just something to say congratulations. $15-$20 is fine for non-attenders.

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C.B.

answers from Tampa on

Is this a close relative or an acquaintance? Check to see if there's a gift registry and select the item that closely fits your budget OR since you cannot attend sending a gift card in the amount of $50 is sufficient from a well known store - many brides like Target or Bed, Bath & Beyond, JC Penneys, or Amazon.com

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