Website Miseries

i'm trying to find a 'plus' in this somewhere.
if she's the one who showed it to you, she's clearly already playing it, right?
khairete
S.

Ok, well, Second Life is intended for 16 and over. There used to be 2 versions, one for adults only, and one for teens, but a few years back they got rid of the teen version. So now, there are 3 settings for those 16 and over who still want to play. The General PG version has no violence or nudity. The moderate and adult settings have cursing, violence, sex, and nudity.

Seems like she's already playing, and it's not the PG version. But since the avatars can talk to just anyone by IM, chat rooms, and voice, I'm thinking that I wouldn't let my 11 year old play it.

PS--I had an acquaintance in college that had his butt glued to his computer chair for the better part of 4 years playing Second Life and World of Warcraft. In Second Life, his goal was to have "sex" with a thousand people before year's end. One of those could have been your daughter. Would you be comfortable with that?

E., what's the hurry? Why can't you just let her be a little girl for a while longer? What will this child have to look forward to if you continue to introduce her to adult themes?

I think what this is really about is that you have so much pride in her maturity that you are losing sight of the fact that she is really just 11 years old. You have NO idea what the teen years and the onslaught of hormones will do. Mothers everywhere experience having terrific kids, and then the teen years come and their wonderful children turn into difficult teens. You will be hiding your head in the sand if you ignore this possibility.

There are SO many things your daughter needs to learn and concentrate on that do not have to do with adult themes. Please work on this first, and wait to let her into a world you cannot pull her away from, once she is exposed to it.

Lastly, I wonder why you are fussing at everyone in your last sentence? (The one with all the caps.) I just looked at all the answers before me, and everyone answered your question. Quite appropriately, too. J.L. has written you a wonderful answer, full of respectful, considered thoughtfulness, keeping your and your daughter's best interest at heart. I really hope you will open your mind and heart to the fact that what you are being told here IS trying to help.

I've been on that website/game. When it first started, Time magazine had a big article on it. So I checked it out. I was shocked at the things on there, and I'm not a prude. You don't see them right away, but after "traveling" around to different areas you find that it's pretty much all about hooking up and internet "sex."

Absolutely do not let your daughter go on it. It's all adults, and many of them are looking for a sexual thrill. Lots of adult conversation and situations. Even simulated sex. I'm sure you can find something much better for your daughter to do online. Perhaps even put a good book in her hands. She's too young to be involved in things with adult themes. She might be mature, but she's still a little girl. Treat her like that. Fill her mind with good things appropriate for her age.

Not until 16.

Guess who hangs out on Second Life? A ton of people that are alot older than 11.

Guess who's an easy target, no matter how mature she is?

There are just so many other computer games she could play, she really should not play on this game.

The problem will be if other parents, teachers etc.. realize you are allowing this. They will not think you are making good choices for your child. They will question your choices with your child.

I would almost consider not letting my child go to your home if I found out this were going on.

Our daughter was always very mature.. but this is too much information for her to face on a daily or weekly basis at this point. There is just no need for it.

Maturity is subjective. While you have a mature child in your eyes (and sounds like an immature brother), that doesn't mean she's ready to "play with the big boys"- I mean that literally.

Why would you want to have your daughter playing an online game with sexual content/ nudity with adults at the age of 11? Just a question here, but would you like her go to a strip club with a group of 18-20 year old adults? Probably not.

The internet creates a sense of privacy that isn't real. The internet is not secure and you just don't know who is playing along with her. Aside from that, no 11 year old is mature enough to handle a sexual relationship. Just because it's a fictional online character doesn't protect her from the situation.

Honestly? If you have to ask about this... it's not a good idea. I don't know this website at all, but from a totally different perspective (as a school administrator), if a student reported to me that another child was enrolled in this site, there's a real good chance I would call the parent (you). If you told me that you allowed it... pretty sure I'd have to call CPS.

I'm sorry hun but it's not just " sexual themes" it's simulated internet sex.
so no.

NO! Maturity is one thing -simulated internet sex with a 54 (or 33 or 62 -you get my drift) year old perv is quite another.

you know when my 15yo son began going "live" on Xbox....my very 1st thought was safety. He knows our rules for safety, but kids can be so naive & trusting. After a few rounds of him telling me about his new friends, I pointblank asked him, "How do you know that guy really is a 14yo from Texas? He could be a naked 40yo man lying to you."

The thought of this soooo horrified my son! I know it was shock value, but it taught him an important lesson. By his choice, he now plays with only friends.

In your daughter's case, I'm all for protecting our children & allowing them to be kids. I want maturity, I want responsibility....but I do not promote experiences beyond their years. I think the fact that you are asking for our opinion means it is toooo much for your daughter.

I have read the other responses. I do agree that this is beyond your daughter's years. I also agree that this is pretty much a case of trying to close the barnyard door after the cow is out. :)

My recommendation is to talk with your daughter. Ask her to find a website more age appropriate. I do believe that media, current entertainment, & many video games.....simply desensitize kids. Not my cup of tea! Peace.....

No, she may be mature, but she is still 11.

I say absolutely not. Regardless of her maturity, she has zero real-life experience with making the decisions she will be making in the game. Nor should she. My next concern is the other characters she will be interacting with. Next to none will even be in your daughters age range. Many people become attached to these interactions/characters as being real. You are opening your daughter up to danger. No matter the maturity level, she will be no match wit-wise when coming in contact with other players.

Get her a Sims game, and start monitoring her internet use more closely. Thankfully, she came to you with this, or it seems you would still be unaware. What else is she discovering on the internet? It is far to easy for kids to become prey on these social sites. IMO, an 11 yo can't be that mature.

Are your questions for real? I think I just got sucked into something here.

I just answered a question (the ONLY other one you have posted) regarding Sims.

My God if you don't know the answer to this one you are out of your mind woman.

If this is for real, I am truly concerned for your daughter.

Good for you for thinking this through and coming on this site for opinions. It's not easy to say that our kids are mature, but maybe not mature enough! Personally, I say no - Second Life was created for adults and not only does it have nudity, it has very "adult" themes. Your daughter might play and use it appropriately for an 11 year old now, but even if she's not trying to get into the more sexual parts, they'll find her. Other people playing don't know they're interacting with a child.

And... even if your daughter is extremely mature, she hasn't had the life experience yet that will enable her to make good informed decisions. She's still probably a lot more trusting than your average 30 year old... simply because she's still a kid and people (mom, teachers, friends) are good to her. Second Life and websites like that will expose her to things you don't want her to know about yet. Good for you for caring!

What do you mean by "mature"? Do you mean physically developed? Even if she is physically developed, she is still a child. And even if she behaves in a "mature" way, she is still a child and needs you to keep her from things that will cause her to mature even more quickly. I do not believe an 11-year old has any need to be visiting a mature web site. Why would you be considering this, I don't understand?

Wow. One of my grad school classmates wrote her thesis on Second Life. I find it an interesting concept, but one I just don't have time for. It can be incredibly involved. As opposed to World of Warcraft (which I used to play avidly) SL to my knowledge, is not a "game" rather simply a digital "environment" for a new kind of social experience. To draw an analogy, it's like making sure all kids still go to school, but getting rid of pesky things like supervision and curriculum.

I have nothing against Second Life, I just don't feel it is for people who have yet to experience their First Life. I see a lot of philosophical and artistic potential for online environments, but the question of your daughter's maturity is really not at issue for me. It is the maturity of the forum. Let the adults work out the bugs, and perhaps in another 10 years, they'll have developed safeguards making SL a more suitable environment for minors. As it is, I say it is still too experimental and not conducive to developing healthy and happy social relationship and skills.

However, if it were my 11-year-old daughter who was very mature, I would encourage her to do some research and present me with an argument with credible sources sited and propose terms of usage that we could both find agreeable. Perhaps they idea of working for it may turn her off from the idea. Perhaps you may both learn a lot more about it. Seems a bit like a win-win.

No way, do not let her.

hi E... i think it depends upon the maturity of your daughter.. only you can gauge her capacity to grasp things like these.
personally i wouldnt allow my child to be exposed with things like sex upfront, she's not even on her teenage years. we can never tell what these things instill in her not so mature mind.
dont expect too much from you daughter she may be responsible but she's still ELEVEN..
its either her uncle is just fooling around enjoys looking and sounding immature but he is 28 far more experienced than your daughter. she hasnt seen the reality of life, her uncle did and is seeing it.
shelter her from these things until she has the inkling to ask and to know more. dont push things right in front of her face..