Wearing Glasses - Brownsville,WI

Yeah...because NOBODY at school wears glasses.

Aren't kids funny?

Give him the case with the glasses in it to put in his school bag. Suggest that he consider wearing them in class when he needs them. Don't press him on wearing them all the time just yet.

Have you asked your son why he doesn't want to wear them? Does he feel self-conscious about wearing them? Does he think he looks dorky? Has someone teased him? WILL someone tease him? That's really tough for a kid his age to deal with.

The reason I'm thinking in this direction is because you write that he was OK with them at home.

When my daughter got them I explained that either she would wear them all day long or her life as she knows it would be changing. She would have no privileges, no friend visits, no fun....... I spent a tone of money on her glasses and it wasn't going to be waisted. She got contacts when she was 15. She had to prove that she was responsible enough to get them.

I"m so sorry he's resisting the glasses. I agree with the person who posted that if he was fine with them at home but suddenly saying he won't wear them at school, he probably is fearing teasing. You and he need a calm and reassuring talk about this, and you need to get him to talk about whether he just thinks he'll be teased or whether he actually has heard and seen kids being teased for wearing glasses. If it's the latter - I'd involve the teacher right away because she or he needs to have some talks with the whole class about behavior. But also...my daughter was thrilled to wear glasses to school because SO many kids already had them. He may not have realized how many kids he knows do have glasses; he may be so used to seeing them in their glasses that he doesn't really register it, and if you know he has classmates in glasses, you could could remind him of that. Does he have any friends with glasses? Could you get their parents to have them talk to him about it?

This is going to pass, by the way. He will realize that he is not seeing the board, is having trouble reading, can't see the ball in gym class, etc. and he will realize at some point that he needs glasses.

He does also need GLASSES and not just contacts as you note. Even if he gets contacts, there will be a lot of time he is in glasses -- at his age they are probably not going to give him 24/7 contacts he wears for a week all the time. So, yes, he does need to cope with the glasses not just until he gets contacts but forever. And be aware -- it's always possible he may not be a candidate for contact lenses, or at least not yet, so I would not build up the idea of "You'll have contacts soon" in his mind in case the doctor says it's not right for him.

Make him wear them at home when he's doing any upclose work. Then when he gets used to them and starts to realize how much easier it is he may decide to wear them.

I'd let the teacher know that he's supposed to wear glasses-he or she can help at least monitor him.

It sounds like he might be afraid of being teased. Maybe you could let him pick out some really cool frames, and make sure that he knows how awesome they look. Then, let him decide when he wears them. You can't force him to have them on when you're not around, so.... He'll probably respond better to NO attention from you.

I think that contacts are a mighty big responsibility for an 11yo and a bit of a copout. Not to insult you, I just consider that one of those luxury items that keep kids from figuring out certain life lessons. You know your son, so this one might not be for him, but it's not like he's got a horn growing from his forehead. They're glasses! Everybody's wearing them. There's even a fad now with professional athletes wearing empty frames.

Even if he gets contacts, there will be times he'll have to wear the glasses.

While we were out shopping, my 16 yo asked me to buy him some fake glasses, just for the style. He has 20/20 vision.

If your son is afraid he'll be teased for wearing glasses, could the two of you talk about some good come-back lines. If he feels prepared with a response, perhaps he'll feel more confident about trying the glasses at school.

Eleven is a tough age. Kids can be so cruel. He's probably fearing teasing. However, glasses are extremely popular right now. So fashionable. They even sell glasses with clear lenses just for fashion fun.
Talk to him and see if this is the case. If it is, I would suggest two things:
One, if he doesn't make a big deal out of it, and just shows up wearing them, it may go pretty much unnoticed. And if anyone notices, he should just play it down. If he makes a big deal, they'll make big deal.
Two, if he's not willing to do the above, when does he actually need to wear them? If he only needs them to see the board or read his books, then he can keep them in his desk and just put them on as needed.
This is SO funny because my ten year old has been BEGGING me for about a year to get her glasses. She doesn't need them. She just loves them. Last summer, my college daughter had to get glasses and the 10y.o. was so jealous. And then a few months ago, I go new glasses and she was having fits because she wanted a pair too!
A lot of kids wear glasses - pretty fashionable ones - and I don't see any kids making fun of anyone.
Good luck.

Talk to him about why. It may be that they are pinching or hurting. It may be that he doesn't want to look like a geek in front of his friends. For the pinching and hurting, you can get them re-adjusted and you can see if different nose pieces (usually a $5 fix) can make a difference for him.

I'd also sit down with him and talk about why he needs them and why he refuses to wear them. School is really important and he needs to see. Does he need some role playing to know what to say if his "friends" give him a hard time? Even if he got contacts, the end is still the same - he requires vision correction. He needs to use the tools he has. His contacts may hurt or he may get an eye infection now and then that will require glasses. So how do you meet in the middle? Brainstorm with him, with the end result being that he does wear them when he needs to.

You don't always see celebrities wearing glasses, but a lot of them do. Try to find pictures of his favorite stars in prescription glasses to help him feel less self conscious about it. I woudn't necessarily want my 11 yr old to adore Robert Downey Jr, but he, Matt Damon, and Morgan Freeman are all easily found wearing glasses.

Move up his contact lens appointment:). He told you he won't wear the glasses. FYI... My daughter got contacts the month after she turned 9. She loves them and is very responsible with them. Studies show that kids are actually more compliant than adults with taking care of them.

I think 11 is way too young for contacts. As far as the glasses go, it is non-
negotiable. We all must do things in life we do not want to do, but do them because we have to. Every privilege he has would be gone. I made my 2 year old understand early that he had to wear his. Oh he tried over the years to lose them etc, but I always had extra. He accepted it.

My son is 11 and has worn glasses for some time now.. Although he has mentioned from time to time not wanting to wear them, since he picked out the style, he does enjoy them more. Also, with time, he got used to them.. Maybe have the doctor speak directly with your son and suggest that it's so important that he wear them.. sometimes kids will take advice from someone other than their parent...

good luck

My kids both started wearing glasses starting at age 9. One had no opinion really, but the second was pretty upset about it.

What it came down to, basically, is that he didn't have a choice. He needed glasses for school to do well, and not doing well in school would get him in deep trouble. So...he wore them, or else.

So basically, your attitude needs to be that this is not optional.

It helped to let him pick out his own style.