Weaning Toddler Before Trip

It sounds like you don't actually want to wean him, you are just concerned about this upcoming trip. If you don't want to wean him, don't! Just pump to maintain your milk supply and prevent engorgement while on the trip. You can either save the milk or just pump and dump. When you get back, resume life as normal.

It sounds to me like your doctor does not approve of the parenting choices you have made concerning co-sleeping and breastfeeding. For that reason, I would take all of her advice with a grain of salt, because she may have an ulterior motive.

I was recently hospitalized to have my appendix out, and because of some medicines and chemicals in my body, I was unable to breastfeed my son for 3 days (he is 18 months old). It was unplanned, so there was no way to prepare my son, and no way was I going to wean him cold turkey just because I was unable to nurse for 3 days. He ended up being fine, his father took care of him and he did go to sleep in our bed with his father in my absence (we co-sleep as well).

I think you may be stressing yourself unnecessarily. I thought the same thing, that my son would be unable to function while I was in the hospital and recovering, but he was fine. I was proud that he was able to bounce back so well from a big disturbance in his routine. Im sure your son will be fine too.

I weaned my son at 19 months and I thought I would drop it one at at time, but that first time I did't nurse him for his nap something clicked in him and he seemed to understand. He fussed for about 2-3 minutes and then snuggled into my arms and fell asleep. That was it, he got it and didn't nurse any more after that. Now that was extremely hard on me because I didn't realize he would stop himself cold turkey, and I was very sad because I really enjoyed the connection of nursing, but I figured he lead the way and I wasn't going to send him mixed signals. I just had to deal with it on my end with the adjustment LONGER than he did. It amazes me how these kids are so smart, often smarter than us!
Good luck.

Hi J.,

It sounds to me that you are not comfortable with the advice that your pediatrician gave you regarding how to handle the weaning, sleep issues and upcoming separation you are planning for. Although "experts" have a lot to offer parents, I do believe that every parent know her/himself and their children best and therefore knows what "advise" will be most and least helpful to dealing with challenges. Therefore, I think it is sometimes best to deviate from a pediatrian's advice if you don't feel comfortable with it. I may even suggest selecting a new pediatrician who is a better "fit" if this is something you are interested in.

Re: your upcoming weaning, sleep concerns and travel plans, I may explore some different options than those expressed by your pediatrician. First question, are you interested in stopping breastfeeding? If not, I would suggest thinking about pumping during the time away so you can resume nursing after your trip. Why should a trip dictate when you stop nursing if you are not ready to do it yet? If you do want to wean, I would suggest dropping one feeding at a time (as is typical when weaning) to avoid engorgement and to help your son adapt and learn to get milk in other ways and fall asleep on his own. I would definitely start putting him in his crib during the nights and at naptime and be strict about keeping him there until he falls asleep. I think it would be easier for him to learn new eating and sleeping habits if you start before you & your husband are away for a week. At night, I would have you husband briefly go in and comfort your son when he wakes up and then let him him cry until he falls back to sleep. FYI, this may wake up your older child but it is a temporary problem. During the day, I would put him down for his naps without nursing him and let him cry until he falls asleep. If he doesn't fall asleep (after 20-30 minutes), skip that nap and keep him awake until the next nap. I am sure it will be a stressful couple of weeks leading up to this trip, but I imagine you will feel more comfortable leaving your children with their grammy if you feel more comfortable that your son will be eating and sleeping well during your absense. Good luck and feel free to email me if you have any specific questions!

That is going to be really tough because he is still nursing so much AND he is still sleeping in your bed. Are you ready to wean him otherwise? I don't know how grammy would feel about this-but maybe just wait and have her wean him while you're away. If he smells you and knows you're there it'll probably be harder for him to not be able to nurse.
The other plus side to that is, if you don't want to stop nursing all together then you can still nurse once or twice a day when you get back (but hopefully not before bed ;) ) I still nurse my 15 month old 2-3 times a day which I feel really works well for us. Grammy may also be emotionally more able to handle him crying during the process. You are going to want to pick him up and comfort him and you won't be able to if you are doing cold turkey for both issues.
Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

Hello J.,
I am sending this as a public advice too since I disagree with some of the giving advices and I am on the same page with some of you ladies.
I am staying at home mom also with my 2.6 year old boy. I nursed him almost for 18 months. My first suggestion would be DON'T always follow advice of your pediatrician. I got strong advice from my pediatrician's office to do a cry-out routing when my little one was just 4 months old. I had done it and I regret it so much. I would suggest until you still have time try to wean him gradually. You might be surprised how much they understand. I had told my boy that next time mommy will give him a bottle at night. No more boobies. And when the time came I reminded him what I have said to him before and I comforted him with his favorite doggy toy and rubbed his bummy until he falls a sleep with the bottle. As I remember I started with the night time. I found it easier since he had no choice but sleep. As for a nap time he would jump up and go. (He has been sleeping on a pull out sofa since he was 6 months old which was very safe for him to get in and out and he moved on to his big boys bad). He did very well with that since he would never get up until one of us comes to the room. We had never introduced him to our bed. I would follow a sleep with him after night nursing though. And I loved it. I learned after being a first time mom (I am expecting my second child in October) not to follow someone’s advice but listen and see if it would really work for my family and my child’s sake. After he got used to the night routing I did the same thing with his nap time. And now I do face some problems with weaning him from the bottle at night. But it feels like we are going in a right direction too. He is getting used to it little by little. Let me know if there is anything else I could tell you. I had asked everyone I know how they had done it and I loved listen to the stories even though I could not apply it to my child. I just new it won’t work. I just wanted to say that it seems like some boys are very attached to nursing and they won’t give it up on their own so we should help them by not saying no more. But do it very gentle. You might find my story not that much useful for your child but it could help you to make a right decision.
Good luck

I was in a similar situation when my daughter was 14 months - I was scheduled for surgery and knew I'd be gone for a few days. I wasn't comfortable with cold turkey weaning so I just cut her back gradually each time she nursed - by the day before my surgery it was 1 minute each time. She was totally fine with her grandparents taking care of her and when I got home she tried a couple times to nurse but I couldn't (abdominal surgery) and that was that. Each child is different, though, and some are much easier than others to wean. Good luck with your decision and approach.

I would not advise going cold turkey. It will be painful for you and traumatic for your son. Just cut out one nursing session every few days. It is going to be hard to wean and get him in his own crib at the same time, but definitely get your husband to help. Good luck!

I agree with one of the earlier posters about weaning when YOU are ready to ween. Five days is a long time, and it might be challenging for Grammy, but you can still pump and resume nursing when you return. I nursed my daughter for a long time, and basically just dropped nursing sessions one a time per week or so. It was still challenging at times, but when I dropped the last one, I felt READY to be done with it! When you get back home, your son is probably going to want to nurse all the time for a little while, regardless of where you are on weaning at this point. Hard decision, best of luck, and do your best to still enjoy your trip no matter what you decide to do, and know that things will get right back to normal sometime after you return, whatever you choose that to be. Can Grammy try putting your son down to sleep for a couple of nights by giving him pumped milk?

Hi J. :)

I just had to respond! We also co-sleep and breastfeed beyond a year. When my middle daughter was about 21 months, I went on a 3-day trip. She had never been apart from me and had never gone to sleep w/o nursing. Her brother, who was 3 @ the time, had only ever been away from me when I had his sister @ the hospital. I tried to build up a supply of pumped milk before I left, but I knew there wouldn't be enough. My husband stayed home with them and he said she was good. He said she cried a bit at night, but was willing to be comforted by him. He gave her bottles of regular milk when the breastmilk ran out. I pumped while I was away and my supply stayed up. When I got home, we continued nursing as usual w/o any problems.

It's my opinion that suddenly weaning him would be traumatic on top of suddenly leaving him for a week w/Grammy. However, kids are resilient and can adapt to many, many situations remarkably.

It's also not a bad idea to read some Dr Sears and to share it w/your pediatrician. It supports extended nursing and co-sleeping with your children. In fact, I think there is a new study out there that recommends sleeping with your children until they are 5 :O

Anyway, I just wanted to say "listen to your gut" (not necessarily me :)). You know what your children need! Peace:)
jen

Hi J.,
I feel for you! We had almost the same situation when my second child was 16 months old. My husband and I went away for two days and before that my son and I had never been apart. He was breastfeeding several times a day and several times a night and sleeping in our bed. Before we left I pumped some milk for him in case he wanted it but he ended up not needing it (we never used bottles so he might not have taken it if it was offered). He stayed with my parents and had them to snuggle with at night. He cried and fussed a little but I think he knew I wasn't available. My advice is to not wean him (WHO now recommends two years) And it sounds as though you're both still enjoying it. But whatever you decide to do remember that he'll be fine! Good luck!

PS Bring a pump with you if you decide not to wean - after just 15ish hours away I was very engorged and it was quite painful.

hi J.,
Congratulations on nursing your baby till now!!
weaning at his age may take longer than 3 weeks, maybe you can try to wean the day feedings, offer a bottle of expressed milk instead of the breast. At nite, give you hubby a chance to feed him, also, you may want to ask Grammy to help you if possible during the day, so he's comfortable with her (not just cold turkey)
It doesnt sound like you are ready to stop nursing, so dont! start pumping (if not doing so already)& save milk for when you're away & take the pump with you on your trip.
good luck!

Oh yes - I totally agree with the doctor - you need to think of what you are going to put Grammy and your child through if you don't go cold turkey now. It's about them - not you - so please take the time and effort and follow the doctor's orders. All three of my girls had no sleeping issues when we used the Furber method. You might want to try that during the night in the crib. It's going to be a rough week but it will be worth it in the long run as your child will be equipped with how to get himself to sleep. The engorgement will pass - or you will have to suffer during your vacation - so I would definitely heed your doctor's advice asap!

That sounds really tough! You sound like you really do not want to wean right now. If that is the case, you can find a way to do it over time and do not necessarily need to do it all before your trip. I would also give the pedi's advice no more weight than that of anyone on the street. Pedis may be great for medical advice. But as re: weaning and sleeping, they are likely to give you advice based on what their family did. It's really not a medical issue.

Gradual weaning is generally better for both of you. Along with painful engorgement, you also run the risk of mastitis by quitting like that.

You may want to check out "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She offers a lot of great options for getting kids to sleep and stay asleep gently. I think to go from nursing on demand and cosleeping to total weaning and sleep in your crib alone, would really be quite traumatic for both of you.

Since he's been doing these things for 15 months, it is unrealistic to just expect him to change to a new system practically overnight. Though when he is with granny, he may find new ways to go to sleep without you. I know my DD would never go to sleep any other way if I were around, but if I wasn't others could get her to sleep. I've heard that from a lot of others as well.

You may want to check out the kellymom site for what she has to say about weaning. Perhaps it will be helpful http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/index.html. La Leche League can also be a good source of info. Contact one of your local leaders for advice.

Good luck!