I nursed my daughter until the age of three and had no problems weaning her.
My son recently turned three and is not fully weaned, but now it's getting to
be a problem in other areas. He is beginning to want me more at bedtime though
his dad has always had a lot of responsibility in this area, started waking up
at night and wants me (nursing). I missed my opportunity when he was very young
to get him to nap w/o nursing and he won't nap at home for anyone w/o nursing.
He will nap on his own away from home with a regular sitter, and sleeps for two to
three hours. If he falls asleep nursing, he wakes up if I even try to put him down
in a crib or bed. Even if I am successful at putting him to bed asleep, he wakes in less than an hour and I really need some time in the afternoons He is at preschool two mornings before the babysitter, so I have him three full days during the week. Usually I am successful at getting him to drink liquids, but he still wants to nurse when he rises, before nap, and before bed (before dad puts him down).
Note: Dad and I are both softies.
Please help with any weaning and nap advice for this age. My husband also noticed that our little guy wants mom more and more passionately these days, so I want to respect this and still take care of me!
Being "softies" will not work for children of any age. It's confusing for a child to start, stop, start, stop with anything in life. The older he gets the more problems you'll have down the road. He know he's getting his own way. p.s., IMy husband and I were "softies" too.
I weaned my daughter between 3 & 3.5, I told her they were sore and/or needed a rest if she'd already nursed once as a way to get her to stop small feedings. Once she accepted that, then I began saying that at bedtime. Although by then it was quite true as I was pregnant with our second :)
I recommend the book Mothering the Nursing Toddler...
http://www.amazon.com/Mothering-Nursing-Toddler-Norma-Bum...
You can probably find it in your local public library, or through inter-library loan. It has an excellent chapter on weaning.
Here are some other sources that look helpful....
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/t022900.asp
http://www.llli.org/FAQ/weanhowto.html
I think that being a "softie" is a good thing when it means having a listening heart for your children's needs. :-)
I also recommend How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and Listen so Kids Will Talk...
http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/038081...
Best wishes.
I think that you hit the nail on the head when you said that you and dad are softies! The first thing that I would suggest is go with a cup all of the time and just quit cold turkey! Nursing is a crutch for the child and once you let them know how grown up they are and how happy you are with them that they are being so very grown up and that you are not going to nurse any more I think that she will accept it. She just needs to be sure that it is gone and you just need to make up your mind to it.
With my son, the thing that really made an impression was being a "big boy." while I don't normally like to play this up, in the case of weaning at 3 I found it a great help because he really responded to wanting to be a big boy and I just explained that he was a big enough boy to not need mommy milk anymore. I started this a few months before I planned to wean him, and would remind him that "soon you'll be a big enough boy to not need mommy milk" when he would nurse and also was sure to mention that there would still be plenty of snuggling and time on mommy's lap even without nursing.
When the time came to wean, I'd offer a few drink choices instead of nursing when he asked. There were a few tears that were easily quieted by a drink and a hug or snuggle, and within 2 days and asking only 2-3 times, he never asked again. Naptime routines changed since nursing him down was no longer an option, but a snuggle in bed and telling him a few stories worked fine after a few days of adjustment.
The biggest mistake you could make is waffling, I think. If you give in if he cries or complains and nurse again, he's going to continue to cry and complain to get what he wants. Distraction and substitution (a sippy cup or glass with juice or milk and plenty of hugs and reassurance) was key in taking care of those few moments I felt like giving in.
Sounds like this is an attention issue or a power struggle--? Who knows with kids this young? Earache? Sore throat? Oh well, you will have to decide to either keep trying to wean or just wean later. I nursed my youngest daughter until age 5. She only nursed one side each night for 5 min. only, and stopped because she wanted to, so each case is different. People are so weird about nursing, it's ridiculous!! Good luck--JT
A friend of mine told her girl that she drank it all and there was no more left!
I weaned a three year old boy too, and it was tough, but we made it and it was totally worth it. We had a big boy celebration week...every day for a week we had a "party" or did something special to celebrate that he was a big boy and not nursing, it actually worked really well. Good luck!
CP:
every child is different ant they each have different needs.... your daughter "outgrew" he need to nurse ( nurture at the breast) at one age/ your son is not there yet.
the book suggestion bf your nursing toddler is an excellent read.
P., RLC, IBCLC, CST
Breastfeeding and Parenting Solutions
I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say yah! for you for nursing as long as you have! People these days get so weird about nursing toddlers that it's nice to hear from so many women that have. I'm only 8 months in but I hope to get to where you are some day.
I weaned my little guy at about 3 also. Our last feedings were the same as yours. We used a snack with mom & story time as a replacement for nursing. I let him drink milk from a bottle (if he wanted to suck) and he still does that a little (8 months later). He might ask about a bottle once a week or every other week, but he never took one as a baby. Anyway, those last few feedings were the hardest to drop. And I still do bedtime about the same way. We also talked about it a lot with him...how he was really big & could eat "anything for big kids," so he really didn't need to nurse. It did take a few tears (which is horrible), but the last time I nursed him, he knew it was the last time, & he didn't even cry! Good luck! It took me a LONG time to finally wean. I was thinking of doing it at 2...almost 8 months later it happened.
