Weaning off from Pacifier

My daughter is over 13 months and I still let her have the pacifier. She falls asleep with it and is fine. I've seen older toddlers with it. My son, who is now 15, never liked the pacifier and sucked his thumb until he was probably 7 years old and has perfect teeth. If it works, keep it up!

Hi, My experience with pacifiers and bottles, too, has been that somewhere around a year kids just literally toss them. They throw them out of the crib of off the high chair tray. Usually after a few times of this, I get the message and put them away. I've noticed that the parents who try to force kids to use these after they lose interest have a problem lasting several years. Trying to get a pacifier or bottle away from a 2-3 yr. old is a real challenge. I think pacifiers can be especially helpful for 6-12 month olds while they cut their front teeth. Good luck! Grams

What is wrong with a pacifier? I have 5 kids. 2 used a pacifier and they are the 2 with better teeth... He will be a baby once, and only once!!

I dont know if this helps, but all 3 of my children used the pacifier and just naturally gave it up on their own. None of them were 2 or 3 year olds walking around with it in their mouths. I would think if he is only using it to put himself to sleep, go ahead and let him keep using it. Oh the joy of having a 7 month old that sleeps without being driven around, rocked, patted, in a swing etc.

My son is 17 months old... he's used a binky since around 3 months old....(he gravitated toward it, as we'd have them "around" to help him sleep, and has used it since). Kids will wean from them on their own.... from what I"ve observed with our friends. It's not so much a "big deal." If it helps them to sleep... then Hooray! I and my dentist does not see anything "wrong" with letting have his pacifier. Ya know... unless you have a big reason to take him off his pacifier now.... why not just let him use it, until he weans from it? It helps him to sleep... which is a good thing for him and you. If you take it away... for reasons you are not sure... you will need to be prepared to have him protest and cry. Naturally. A pacifier is not a "cop out"...don't need to be hard on yourself. Most babies/kids have a "routine" to help them sleep....my son has his binky AND a stuffed cow animal which he LOVES and sleeps with. There is no "harm" in it, in my opinion. Babies/kids all go through different growth changes and routines change too...one day he won't be on his binky. He will only be a baby for so long.. .cherish that and enjoy it now. Good luck, I'm sure you will get lots of opinions here.
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

You should probably do a little more research. I've been told that the studies are now saying a pacifier is a great way to "self soothe" while trying to fall asleep. So many of the moms I know would love it if their baby took a pacifier. I've had a great experience using one with my little boy who's now 1. :) The suckling reflex is a natural relaxer. (This is just what I've been told by professionals. You should always do what you feel comfortable with as the mother. :)

I have 2 daughters, one took to a pacifier the other did not. Every child finds different ways to self-sooth at night. At 7 months, if your son uses a pacifier, fantastic! More sleep for all of you! It is my opinion that children should be weaned off of their binky by the time they are 1.5 or 2. Weaning may be hard or easy - but what determines how difficult the transition is, is usually how diciplined the parents are in sticking to a gameplan! By 1.5 he should be old enough to understand 'trading' his pacifiers (we put our daughter's binkies all together in a ziplock bag and she gave it to the cashier at toys-r-us as payment for a toy she really wanted), or 'donating' his pacifiers (I have heard of children 'giving' their pacifiers to new babies). I think you've got a while to go before any worries. My advice would be to take advantage of it while you can! Hope this helps!

All of my children had a pacifier. (only at nap or bedtime however). They all -at around a year - just threw it away. I think the mistake most mommies make is they let them have it hanging out of their mouth 24/7 and "that ain't good" !!!

Hi A. my daughter had her pacifer for over a year. For me it was fine I asked her dr he said it was not a problem so if it helps him and soothe him you should be o.k.
Im a sm with two girls 6 and 4.
God Bless M.

Dear A.,
Don't sweat the small stuff - just love and enjoy your baby! Do whatever makes sense and works for you.
I am a 56 year old mom of four and grandma of five. When my son (3rd of 4 children) was small, he loved his binkies - and I mean LOVED - and I mean binkies. PLURAL. He kept one in his mouth, one in his hand, and one stuck between his nose and his mouth (somehow it stayed.) The relatives gave me grief and warned me of the 'dire consequences' of this behavior.
So... I asked my pediatrician, Dr.Horst Weinberg (who wrote a common sense baby and childcare book that you might be able to find). This is what he answered softly as he listened to 2 year old Eric's chest. Does he enjoy it? I answered yes. He said to let him do it then. Relax. He told me I was doing a great job. He said that Eric would give up the binkies before college (and he laughed). He told me that peer pressure would save me the trouble. He was right. (But I don't remember the kids ever teasing him.)
Eric is now 6'7", and a 24 year old fireman. He's happily married with an 8 month old son of his own. And yes, "Chuck" has a binky too. One of the neighbors still fondly calls Eric 'Binkers', and we all smile.
No crooked teeth, funny lips or emotional problems from the binkies - and he might have kept them until he was four. I really don't remember - it wasn't a big deal.
I hope this helps. I would love to send you then and now pictures to give you a laugh and reassure you.
With much love,
"Grandma Bargie"

I can tell you my experience with my two kids: My son was VERY dependent on the pacifier. Around 1 year, we started only taking it out for just before he went to bed or when he was sick. We tried NOT to use it in public unless absolutely necessary so he started to get the idea that it was only for sleeping. At a bit older than 18 mos., I started to try to keep it away entirely. Mostly, he still needed it to sleep (especially at first). I also started taking it out of his mouth (while sucking) once I knew he was asleep, and he stayed asleep. Even though he was capable of falling asleep without it from time to time, he still insisted on it often. I went to the website of one of the manufacturers (Mam? Can't remember) and they had a method. Basically you told a story about how the baby pacifier had a job to do by making babies happy, but now that you're a big boy, the baby pacifier needed to go home to her mommy. Poor baby pacifier missed her mommy, etc. You explain that if you leave the pacifier on the window sill, the mommy pacifier will come get it because it's no longer needed at this house. The story was very long, but I made a condensed version. Anyway, we talked about it and when I thought he was ready, we left the pacifier out and the next morning it was gone (Mommy pacifier came for it). That was it. A couple of times he asked for it, but I reminded him that it went home to mommy and he was ok. This whole process (telling the story and talking about it as well as trying to keep it away at bedtime) took about 2 months, and he was pacifier free well before his second birthday.
My daughter gradually stopped using it on her own. I stopped using it one day and she didn't miss it. She stopped using it somewhere between 18 mos. and 22 mos. as well. She was not nearly as dependent on it as my son.
Seven months is still pretty young (in my opinion). My suggestion is to do what ever feels right to you and your baby. I understand your concern because I didn't want my kids using the pacifier too long either. Trust your instincts on this -- you'll know when and how to do this for him.

My daughter used a pacifier until she turned 5. She didn't really have much of a problem letting go once she got to kindergarten. My son still has his binky for falling asleep. We'll go cold turkey before kindergarten too. I guess it's just never really bothered me. I've never seen what the big deal was. It's makes them happy. Their teeth are fine, by the way.

A. - I definately think you should wait unless there is some urgent need to take it away from him. It isn't doing him any harm and you are getting your sleep and so is he. I have a 7 month old also and I only wish he took a pacifier to sleep. I think he would sleep much better than he does now. I also have a two year old and he loves his pacifier. He only uses it to sleep but I am not looking forward to weining him off of it so I am hoping he will just give it up when he is ready. Your son is still really little to be taking it away already but good luck in whatever you decide.

My daughter just gave up the binky up on her own at 2 1/2 years old. Before that I asked her doctor about any negative effects and he said there aren't any until they are like 5 years old and by then most kids don't use one anymore. I think moms like to judge others on this subject for some reason, but you need to do what's best for you. Ask your doctor if you're worried. Good luck.

Some babies have a stronger need to suck than others. If you take it away too soon, he will probably just suck his thumb-which is WAY harder of a habit to break because you can't take his thumb away. The baby will stop using it when he/she is ready. Mine both stopped on their own around age 2. If you really want the baby to stop now, or in the future, a great trick is to just poke a tiny hole in it with a sewing needle. It will lose it's suction and be no fun! They will lose interest quickly. Most parents (like with weaning from a bottle) just keep buying more and offering more because they don't want to listen to the crying. If you can get through the first 48 hours, you'll probably be home free-so long as you don't give in, even once. I think it's Okay for the kids to use a binky. As far as the dental issues go......just don't let it continue past their ND birthday. The thumb will actually cause more damage and cause more need for braces in the future. Thumb habit appliances (that you get from your dentist to stop thumb sucking) are roughly $750. IF you have ortho coverage, you might get lucky and your insurance will pay 1/2 of that. Overall, the binky is a much better option. Not to mention, if children don't satisfy their sucking instinct when they are very small, they are more likely to be smokers later in life (gives them something to do with their mouth). It sounds crazy, but that's what I've learned in psychology classes.

Hey A.,
Well, my experience with the pacifier for my daughter was that I would still let her have it at night time, but not go pick it up all the time or at all during the night. She had to learn to either find it or cry herself back to sleep. And then around 10 months or so, she sort of started weaning herself. She would take it out, or sometimes it seemed to not serve to great of a purpose. So I started limiting use to mostly nap time and bed time and soon (probably less than 2 weeks) she was done using it.

Also, I do have some friends who still let their children use it, especially one friend who lets her son use it and he is 6 weeks older than my daugther (who is 18 months) and he hardly talks and is more babyish from what I have noticed.

Good luck!
B.

My pedi said this "Have you ever seen adult walking around with a pacifier?" I LOVE THAT! It's so true, they will eventually drop it or you'll wean them, and every child is different.

Either way, don't stress too much about it. I have twins, both use the paci still at 27 months. However, my daughter only wants it when she's hurt or just before she falls asleep. The rest of the time she talks non-stop!! There are advantages to the paci.

The most important thing, I think, is that they don't use it in daycare or school. It's too easy for another child to pick it up, germs, etc. Otherwise, let them have their thing, they need to self-soothe.

L.

My daughter's dentist said that it will be cheaper for us to pay for braces than pay for a therapist by taking her binky away. What's the big deal with your son having a pacifier? He is still a baby after all. The only "negative" I see is that he may need braces, but what child doesn't? From what I've heard, the only way to wean them is cold turkey. Tell him that you're sending them to other babies who need them. Or see if he would send them to binkyland. I believe there's a website called binkyland.com or something where you can go to show your child where the pacifiers go. Good luck!

I would not worry about the pacifier. It is much better then him falling aspleep with a bottle, which causes cavities. My son had a pacifier till about 1 year old. I noticed that he wasnt even really sucking on it anymore and it was just kind of sitting in his mouth. So i took it out and he didnt even notice. But as for now i wouldnt worry about it, it is a much better option then falling aspleep on a bottle. Many people dont know but even baby formula causes cavities. I found out the hard way.

A.,
I also have a 7 month old who uses a pacifier...I would not call it a "cop-out" at all, as if something can sooth, calm, and help my baby to relax I am all for it. At only 7 months old I wouldn't worry about weaning him off of it. Pacifiers have been proven to help against SIDS, and in conjunction with making a happy baby, I say Go Binky! If it's any relief...I only started 5 days ago telling my 2 year old she can have her binky at night-night only, and she is perfectly fine :)
Take care!
S.
Mommy of Tova, Libi, and Uh-Oh coming in September!

Dear A.,

Sucking can be a strong need at this age. Some kids have it, some don't. Mine really wouldn't take a pacifier - one sucked his thumb and one sucked her index and middle fingers (and you can't just throw these away like you can a "pluggie"). One of my children didn't have a strong a suck reflex - she used "twirling" her hair as her self-calming method. While it serves its purpose, it is becoming a habit. Some habits eventually fall by the wayside - but some are really hard to break. Both of my two "suckers" sucked until they were five, or very nearly five. Both of them also had "nightnights" that they carried around. My husband noticed with my oldest that he didn't suck his thumb as much if he didn't have his nightnight - so the nightnights got "lost" and the thumb sucking trailed off, too (my ex had his bright moments!). With my baby, she had a strong emotional attachment to her nightnight, too. We went away for a week once and the nightnight got left behind. She was fine for the week. When we got home, I ran through the house and picked up all the nightnights I could see (they were cloth diapers - burp cloths - hers were purple) and they disappeared. She was very upset, but I just pointed out that she had done fine without her nightnight the entire week before. Without her nightnights, her finger sucking also tapered off. Some do stop sucking on their own - some need a little help - some will struggle with that habit for the rest of their lives (or whatever they end up replacing it with - my replacement was nail-biting). Unfortunately there is no way of knowing at this point which category your son falls into - maybe someone else will offer insight into whether you should throw the pluggie away now or wait till he's older . . .

Good luck!
B.

I was so against using a paci until my daughter needed one. She'd nurse FOREVER if I didn't give her a paci. She liked to suckle and be snuggly. She's two years old and still uses it for bed. Your baby is only 7 months old. Don't worry about weaning him now and don't worry about when he's older. He's not going to be a teenager sucking on a pacifier.

We keep the paci only for naptime and bedtime and occassionaly in the car if we're going to be out a long time. If it makes them feel good, I don't see a problem with it. I trust I'll know when it's time to stop completely, and at any time it will become struggle for them because it's a habit but I'll prefer to let her be comfortable know and when she's older I'll work on weaning her.

Every baby is different, some kids love it and some are easy to wean and you'll never know until you get there. My opinion is we can't constantly worry that something *might* become a habit. Deal with it when the time comes and let your baby be happy now. Good luck

It is too early to be worrying about the pacifier. It is okay for kids to use a pacifier up to age 4. At age 4 is the time to start worrying about weaning your baby off. A lot of kids wean themselves off and it is not a concern. At this young age there are no negatives to using a binky.

Have you lost the plot....he is a BABY and if the pacifier is doing its job why would you want to upset him. As the saying goes "If its not broken dont fix it" leave it to him and when HE is ready he will get rid of it. My three had them until they were a lot older then 7 months but only in the cot. and they are very normal adults now. Personally I think you would be crazy to try and wean him now he is too young by my standards anyway.

As far as weaning goes, I have an idea that may or may not work for you. Offer the pacifier at first when he goes to bed but if he spits it out and cries, just use other soothing techniques and don't put in back in. That way he can eventually learn to fall asleep without it. I read about this in the Lullaby Sleep Plan. As for the rest of your questions...I'm eager to see the answers you get since I have a 3 month old and am learning the ropes too. I just know I use the "binky at the beginning of bedtime only" routine with my son and it has worked so far. Best wishes to you.

A.,
My daughter was very attached to the pacifier, what I did is I cut the tip of it, she did not wanted and when she asked me I play like there was nothing wrong, she started using it like that, so 4 days later, I cut a little more, and it was like that until almost nothing was left and she just lost interest, the whole process took me like a month, She was 14 months. Hope this helps!

I really don't know of any other way to take a baby off of their pacifier than cold turkey, unless your baby goes through a stage where they are looking disinterested in it, then I would take advantage of those times. But I think it's harder for us to take our babies off of their pacifiers than the babies. I look at it this way. Your baby, only 7 mos. old will not remember you not giving him his pacifier, but a 2 year old might remember it being a traumatic experience. As far as the negatives of letting him continue to use his pacifier, I like the previous had 1 child that wouldn't take the pacifier and the other one that loved it. The second baby didn't talk as soon as the first baby because he really didn't have a chance to babble as much. I took him off at 7 mos. because he got a really bad stomach flu and I saw it as germ fest in his mouth. But he started babbling more and before you knew it he was talking so much, and he enjoyed his new "freedom of speech" if you will. Haha. Just know that peace and quiet will be something of the past. LOL Whatever you think you can take. Everyone's scenarios are different...

I had the same concern with my daughter when she was three. I have heard from numerous parents that they will not be walking down the aisle with it! Most kids give it up when they are older and can fall asleep eaiser without it or when they see their friends are not using one. My main concern with her using the binki was how it would affect her teeth. Our dentist said that "braces will be much less expensive then therapy". So we let her use it and before she was four it was gone. A child as young as yours needs to have something to help him soothe. He is not old enough to pick something else out. So, my advice is let him enjoy his binki as long as he wants. Psychologically, at his age, there are no negatives of letting him continue to use his beloved binki.

My son was almost 2 when we finally got rid of his binky. I let him keep it till the point that I felt he was getting too old to be using it. But he loved that thing. What I did to get rid of them is cut the tips off when he wasn't looking & when he tried using it & it wasn't "right", I told him it was broke. He would try it again & didn't like it, so we would throw it away. I did this for about a week till all the binkies in the house were gone & we had no problems.

I have 3 kids that all used a pacifier. I preferred that over sucking thumbs. My boys had theirs for sleeping only until they were about 2. I just told them that they were now big boys and couldn't have it anymore. Both were ok and asked for it a few times but never got upset and were over it within a week. My daughter is 20 months and uses hers, again for sleeping only. But none of my kids suck their thumbs, which I think is harder to break.

Dear A.,

I hate to be a meanie, but here goes. I think that you need to stop worrying that he will have a habit of the binkie. He needs it now. He is adjusting to a big world and needs a little comfort, why not? It isn't a bad thing like some people say.

Some kids like to have a pacifier, and some do not, just let him be a pacifier baby. He really doesn't have to suffer because of not having it.

I hope that this helps. C. N.

Dear A.,

Let your son keep the pacifier until he is ready to give it up. I gave my son the binky in the hospital when he was 2 days old. He also used it to fall asleep but he gave it up on his own when he was about 18 months old. You son will do the same. Don't worry, he won't be in preschool with his binky. Also, it has been proven that sleeping with a binky reduces the chances of dying from SIDS - so that alone is a good reason to let your son keep it until he is a little older.

Hope this helps!

L. C.

I have heard success stories on weaning off the pacifier by poking a pin size hole in the top. This I guess changes the sucking feeling. Makes it less desirable.

I think if you limit it to sleep time, I wouldn't worry about it. My kids used theirs until they were 2, but ONLY for sleeping. My middle son decided it was fun to flush them down the toilet. So, I told him, once they're all flushed, that's it, no more. He flushed all but one coveted binky which he help onto for about a week. And, then flushed it too! That was it, no problem. My youngest was a little harder. We discovered she didn't really suck on it anymore, she liked to hold it in her hand and squeeze it. So, we had to buy her a little squishy toy to hold in her hand, and that worked. I think most kids just naturally outgrow the need to suckle.

7 months is still pretty young to wean from a pacifier (not that it's a bad idea to wean him from it) - if he continues to use one up to 18 months or so, he can still get by without any oral issues. There comes a point where excessive pacifier use can lead to dental problems. My suggestion is to try and substitute the pacifier with some other form of comforting while you are trying to wean him from it. Spend some time rubbing his back or rocking him or singing to him, if any of those help him relax. If you find that it is just too much for him, you might consider waiting a month and trying again. There seems to be a time when babies teethe or have other things going on for them so they are a little MORE oral soothers. There is usually a window where it is not so necessary to have something to suck on and that's the window that you would try to find. I transitioned my child by establishing that the pacifier was only for the bed. He couldn't use it outside of his bed so when he was frustrated or tired at other times, he would have to find other ways to soothe himself. When he got to be 18 months his breath was always horrible and I felt like it was due to the pacifier. I cut off the tip of it and let him have it and he sure wasn't interested in it long before he gave it up. But he was a bit older then. Some children just have a greater need to suck - so I'd be sensitive of that when you start to wean. Good luck!

I think pacifiers are fabulous tools when used correctly, and I think your baby is the perfect age to start dumping it. I can't stand to see a kid older than 1 with a pacifier. I also think it delays speech when a kid is plugged up all day. I disagree with the comment that it doesn't cause dental issues, my dad is a dentist and said they can definitely influence the development of permanent teeth if used for too long. My kids all had pacifiers until about 7-8 months, and none of them became thumb suckers when I took it away. As for how to do it not cold turkey, I don't have an answer. I do everything cold turkey, it seems easier somehow. It's the difference between diving in to a pool and slowly walking in, I guess. Good luck.

My 2 daughters were hooked on pacificers from birth until they were about 3 years old. I enrolled them in preschool at age 3 and pacificers were prohibited. I was really nervous and never thought they would give them up. To my surprise, they went cold turkey. None of the other children had pacificers. Maybe they intuitively knew it was time? Maybe they had enough? All I know is it wasn't an issue. My girls are 13 and 14 years old now and when I tell them the story they laugh~ No scars! Just my take on it. Good luck with whatever you decide to do~

I wouldn't be in such a hurry. My older daughter gave it up cold turkey at 20mo. It wasn't even a big deal for her. Now my four mo old won't take one and I wish she would. I am such a worrier about the risks of choking. I'd rather her have a pacifier in her mouth than to be putting foreign objects in her mouth that she could possibly choke on (once she starts to crawl).

The sooner the better. A few sleepless nights when you the mom and dad are in control and before he can talk is better. No, most don't just get tired of them as they get older. Mine was 3.5 years old and we finally had to toss all of them. Cold turkey was the order of business. We had been seeing a dentist since her first tooth and regularly. No problems until she hit 3.5 yrs. All the sudden we were instructed to see an orthodontist! Her palette was not growing into the correct shape...due to prolonged use of a binky! Several thousands later...spreader, retainer and such, we are looking to the future with braces to further correct the damage. Mind you, my daughter didn't start with a binky until she was 9 months. It seemed to calm her at nap and bedtime. We did the cold turkey and within a week of long nights, the binky was forgotten. I wish we would have known the issues that it could cause. I wouldn't give a baby a binky if I had to do it again. It seems cruel to you, only because the crying is hard to hear as a mom. Babies adapt faster than any other age...remember it is only 1 week and then it's over. If you do this though, you need to throw away all...yes, ALL of them. Parents can get week during the night! Your baby will learn to sleep without it and your lives will get back to normal in no time. Best of Luck!

What worked for my kids was each time a pacifier cracked/broke, I had them throw it away themselves. When it came to the last one, I reminded them that it was the last one & I wasn't going to get any more. The first night was tough, but after that, they didn't have a problem. However, 7 months is way too young to be worrying about it right now. One of mine was done at 2, the other at 4. Relax!

I had two thumb suckers and one binky boy. Each child decided on his or her own when they were finished with it. Each made a natural weaning process for themselves. Don't worry too much about this, it didn't cause dental problems for my kids, it won't rot your baby's teeth, and it is very soothing and comforting. You will have many important and critical battles to fight with your child. This is not one you should worry about. Gentle guidance without shaming will usually produce the result you are seeking with this issue. Give yourself a break and enjoy the extra comfort and soothing it offers your baby now.

Depending on the type of pacifier, continued use can mess w/ the algment of his teeth or his bite.
Try subsituting a different style/kind that he might not like and only present him w/ the "new" one.
Best of luck,
K. B

I dunno, is a binky so bad??? My kids were just irritated by binky's (why is there no milk coming out of this thing????) so we never had to deal with it. My friend waited until she could have a conversation with her little girl and told her about the binky fairy who takes binky's from "big girls" and brings them to a little baby who needs it more (she bought it and gave up the binky). another tactic is to cut off the sucked part and say "oh no - binky is broken!" when they understand what broken means. I say if there is not really a medical reason for getting rid of it, why give it up?

You should've never put him on one! I had 4 kids not one of them ever had a plug! Kids cry when they are hungry, need changed or have gas...so deal with it. There is nothing more disturbing than seeing a mother stick a plug in a kid's mouth, or a 2 or 3 yr old running around with it. Stop it now. Yes he's going to cry because you started him w/a crutch from the beginning. He'll get over it. Kids don't need pacifiers for security, they need love and attention. All four of my kids were breast fed and none of them were put to sleep with bottles or "binkies", they slept all night and were very secure. Binkies are more for parents than children, try spending more quality time with your child.