Weaning Baby from Breastmilk

Hi C.!
You have had some fabulous advice and support so far. I think you need to do whats best for you. Pumping for 9 months can be draining. As a birthing coach, I would suggest you get a thyroid test. That tiredness is a little worrisome!

Blessings,

A.~

I don't have much advice other than to say that I'm in the same boat as you. My daughter is 6.5 months old and I've been exclusively pumping for the last 4 months (6-7 times a day) and she's been on breast milk only her whole life. I just started supplementing with formula once a day on Monday and feel so guilty. Her nanny calls it "fake milk" which just sounds worse. But I'm only pumping 3 times a day now and feel like I have at least some energy now. My daughter does not sleep through the night either and I work full-time although I have no other kids. So I know how you feel and I look forward to seeing what others have to say. Good luck!

You are a great mom, your kids are lucky to have you. I admire that you have pumped this long. Wow, you will do the best thing for all of you I am sure but know you are our hero. A truly selfless mom!

Ok, so first let me say that I am sooo pro breastfeeding... BUUUUUT... My second daughter has has some issues breastfeeding, she is 5 months old and is basically weaning herself. It KILLS me to give her formula, because I know all the benefits of breast milk. But I've been breastfeeding, pumping then bottle feeding now for 3 months and it's so tiring that I've finally given up! She refuses to eat a full meal just breastfeeding!
So, that being said, DON'T feel bad if you have to switch! There are ways to make formula a little better... research fortifying your own formulas (we are adding cod liver oil and a partially boiled egg to a commercial organic formula so that she gets the needed Omega oils and DHA that she needs!)
Message me if you want more info on that!
Keep your chin up, you've done a great job!!!

I don't think there's anything wrong with changing to 100% formula. I'm someone who nurses for 2 years, but I can't imagine pumping for 9 months, so I think you've done awesome! Find a way to be happy with your decision. Just remember to ween yourself because you don't want to be engorged and in pain on top of everything else. Your baby already takes a bottle so you have to ween him from that. When he's around a year I would try to change him to sippie cups (Advent has a great converter tip).

Also, with your 5 year old, try giving her yogurt (suggest Nancy's brand) right before bed to see if she sleeps better. If that doesn't work, maybe try letting her watch a 1 hour movie so that puts her to sleep instead of taking up your time.

If you have to, so you get more sleep, let your baby sleep next to you when he wakes up in the middle of the night. My sleep is more important than making him sleep by himself the whole night.

Best wishes to figuring out what works best for you!
D.

while i agree that it is best to continue with breastmilk through 12 months of age, if you feel like it's taking too much out of you, you have every right to switch to formula. also, to get my nap, i turn on the tv for my boys. i would be happiest with them watching no tv at all. but for my own sanity and strength, they typically watch a half hour show while i'm in the shower (this insures no fighting while i am unavailable to break it up) and then in the afternoon when i can hardly think straight anymore they watch at least another half hour, depending on how much rest i need to get through the rest of the day. sometimes a long book on tape/cd works too. yes, sometimes i feel guilty allowing them so much tv time. but it's better than the alternative-- a crazy, angry, sleep deprived mom.

Yikes! Don't feel guilty! You lasted way longer than I did with the pumping/feeding thing. I was never very successful actually breastfeeding, and with preemie twins, then another 13 1/2 months later, pumping became the only way any of them were going to get any breastmilk at all. As another poster said, you need to take care of yourself, or it will affect EVERYTHING else. It's tough having 3 kids under 5. I know this. I have 4 under 5. You have to do what works. Deciding to stop nursing (or pumping) does not make you a bad mom. And since you've already been supplementing with formula, it shouldn't be a huge transition for your baby. to switch exclusively to formula. It may even help with sleeping through the night. Supposedly, formula fed babies tend to wake less often at night because the formula is more filling for longer. Anyway. Don't feel guilty for doing what is best for your family as well as your child. You need to take care of you so you can take care of them. Good luck!

If you are really feeling guilty about stopping breastfeeding, I would recommend trying to address the sleeping issues first to make sure you've done all you can. If you get everyone sleeping normally and you still want to quit pumping then go right ahead. You might find that if you're getting more sleep, the pumping isn't much of an issue. Switching to formula isn't likely to help with the exhaustion if you're still not sleeping.

A 9 month old should be sleeping through the night and has you trained to respond. I did the same for my son until he was 11 months and I wised up and he adjusted no problem.

The 5 year old is a separate issue. I hope you've talked with your doctor about the "insomnia" and have addressed all the possible environmental or routine issues. He or she will suffer in Kindergarten and developmentally if not getting enough sleep too.

Start the laundry as soon as you get home so it's just the folding left once the kids are asleep.

Baby steps!!

I am a huge proponent of breastfeeding. I have 3 kids and I breastfed my first two for a year each. My third just couldn't get the hang of it. I pumped as much as I could with him and he got mostly breastmilk for the first 6 months. After 6 months of that I had completely had it - so HUGE kudos to you for lasting 9 months. It's easy for moms who have never had to pump to tell you to hang in there. But those of us who have had to pump know that it's the worst of all worlds (for us anyway). You have to deal with all the bottles, plus you have to try to figure out how to feed them breastmilk at the right temp while you're out. It's way easier to get plugged ducts & mastitis. The convenience of breastfeeding is gone & it turns into a bigger pain than either just breastfeeding or just formula feeding. The huge upside is the feeling that you're doing something great for your baby & that's the part that gets us feeling guilty when we think of weaning. I completely understand. I went through exactly the same thing.

Try to give yourself a break though. You've done a great thing with all you've given your baby. The first 6 months are for sure the most critical & you're way past that. We are so conditioned to think that because it's the recommended way until at least a year that it's the only way. My pediatrician put it in perspective for me. I've always had this image that a baby who is breastfed is WAY more healthy than a formula fed baby - they get all those immunities from us - right? Well, that's true - they do get immunities. But in studies it was the difference of 1 (yes just 1) fewer infections a year in breastfed children. It's not like we're dooming our children to sickness. I don't think my son has been sick one day since I weaned him at 6 months (he's almost a year now). When your child is graduating from Harvard or dealing street drugs 20+ years from now, you're not going to look back and say - it's because he did or did not get breastmilk for an extra 3 months to a year. In the grand scheme of things, I truly believe we build up the importance of it in our heads WAY beyond the true benefit.

As a side note, check out 'How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems' by Ferber. It's a great book on kids' sleep. It was a life-saver for me. Good luck! You're a good mom!

You need to remember that your health, energy, and sanity are just as important to your baby as breast milk. My first baby stopped nursing after only six weeks. I pumped exclusively for less than a month before I decided that I simply couldn't handle it anymore. It really is very draining! She did fine on formula, and has grown and developed wonderfully. Just remember that you have given your baby 9 months of breastmilk, and that is a wonderful thing! Since pumping is taking such a toll on you, it is just fine to go ahead and transition him to formula. You will feel much better physically, and probably emotionally. You gave your baby a wonderful start - and I think you can wean him to formula without any worries.

I think everyone has some great advise but the one thing I see missing is that you say you have a supportive husband, so why isn't he taking over the bedtime routine for your little ones? Yes, he has to work but he needs to realize that you need help. Just because you stay home does not mean that you are the only one responsible for raising the children. My husband finally took over bedtime when he realized that I would have more time for him and be much better rested if he did. It was just enough time for me to be alone and get ready to transition to sleep. I sleep better now, the kids love spending quality time with daddy and my husband reaps the benefits too. Then you wouldn't be up so late and could pump while daddy has the kids. Oh, another benefit to daddy putting the kids to bed. My youngest who would be up with me until 1am now goes to bed at 9pm no problem.

Wow you have so much on your plate. Take care of yourself. If mommy cant funtion the whole house can fall apart. I've been there. I pumped for 3 months because my baby was a poor eater, she would not latch and was a lazy eater. I would feed her, which was an hour long ordill and then it would take 30 minutes to pump at least so I was getting only 1 hour of sleep at a time (she did not sleep well) Even when I did give pumping up I felt so down on myself and felt hurt by anyone who talked about how easy breast feeding was. But now my little girl is 5 and healthier than some of those breast feed babies.
You've done so much for you baby already, so if you want to stop pumping. It wont hurt your baby. You've made it 9 months!!! Any breast milk is good. DON"T feel guilty. You need this break. Kids can grow up perfectly smart and healthy without the breast milk. I mean most of our generation were formula feed babies and we are fine as adults. Also is your kindergarten a full day or half? Does your pre school and kindergarten overlap? If so I dont know how mobile your baby is, but ( this is going to sound scandolous, I can hear the gasps as people read this) If you can, what about putting him in an exersauser and put on a Baby Einstein movie? I would put my little girl by the couch, she would watch and play and I would close my eyes for a few minutes. Again mommy's sanity it so good. Another tip is to let go and have your hubby do bedtime routine or laundry. It's ok to ask for help. We are not super women and if you tallied up all we do you couldn't afford to pay us. So while our husbands may work they need to help out too.
I was a little concerned about your five your old having insomnia. It seems so young though not impossible. This is bad for a kido while learning and growing up. I can hardly handle it as an adult. I feel so bad for her. Have you taken her to a doctor to see if there are underlying issues or gotten any suggestions on ways to help. I know this is long but I wish you the best for you and your family.

If you do not take care of yourself it will affect everything and everybody. Stop feeling guilty. You have 3 children and a hsuband for crying out loud. One thing I do suggest, as I have not been getting much sleep for the past 3 years (I have a 3 year old that has NEVER been a good sleeper and a 3.5 montn old), buy the No Cry Sleep Method book. They have one for infants and for Toddlers. I am using it now and it is helping a lot. I finally decided that I needed my sleep as I was not functioning well at home or work. Anyway, give it a try. It is a process, but if you stick with it you will not be dissappointed. Good luck!

You sound tired!! :) Switching to formula now is just fine.
It is awesome you have breast fed for this long. He is used to the bottle and will transition fine I am sure. Just mix half and half now. You need a break and if stopping doing this will help go for it. I can say I had to stop at almost 6 mos with my son and he is fine. You need to be happy to be your best and rest will do that for you. Breast feeding ongoing isn't for everyone and it isn't a issue that your son will be any less healthy (regardless of what you hear!!!!).
He got the best of what he needs and I say get some rest yourself. I used to do formula in concentrate, mix it in a pitcher in the morning, make the bottles for the day. My son actually preferred cold bottles so that made it super easy. The Dr said cold vs warm was a taste factor and there was NO difference and if he liked it cold go for it.
That I think too made the transition to milk at the year mark easy as he was used to drinking cold things.
Have all your bottles for the day made up so you aren't spending your day making formula.
DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!!! A happy mom equals a happy baby and regardless of all the flap you may get, it is a choice YOU NEED TO MAKE and your child will be just as smart, happy and healthy as if you waited three months, PROMISE!!
My friend still breast feeds her three year old!! Which I think is insane. She gave me a hard time about stopping with my kids before the year mark. Well both of my kid are very healthy, smart and perfect in their growth.
Her son is full of allergies, ear infections, eczema, asthma and so on..so it isn't some guranatee he will be any less healthy!! I think 9 months is great!
Do what you want, do what will be best for your family and your ability to not feel like a slave to the pump or breast feeding. It shouldn't be a chore!!!!

you have done an incredible job lasting 9 mos on the pump. i am currently exclusively pumping for 2nd time, my second baby in 2 years (less an occasional comfort nursing followed by bottle BM). EP is very hard on your body, not to mention the double duty of pump and feed and the time factor. 1-2 hour feed sessions in middle of night - bottle feed then pump - i am there too. i am aiming for 6 mos, like i did with my first. only 11% of babies get BM thru 6 mos. you have done your best, now give yourself some rest! you deserve it.

C.,

I agree that you have done a wonderful thing for your baby. Every drop of breastmilk that you have given is like money in the bank for your baby. If you need to wean now, than that is what you have to do. However, have you considered that it probably is not the lactation, and possibly not even the pumping, that is making you exhausted? If that is the case, weaning your baby simply will not address your problem.

It sounds like the biggest problem is that you are not getting good night sleep. At your son's age age, waking 1-2 gtimes per night is not abnormal, especially for a baby drinking breastmilk. That being said, you can certainly start encouraging him to sleep longer. If you are willing to let your son cry it out, I have heard good things about Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Mark Weisbluth (http://tinyurl.com/6dgrvy). If you are not willing to let your son cry it out, I have had good success with The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. (http://tinyurl.com/5dswlr)

There might also be some other things you can do to streamline your time. If you have to drop off/pick up your older kids, can you arrange to carpool with some other moms to get a few days with some free time? Do you need to streamline your housecleaning? www.flylady.com has some good ideas for getting things decluttered and cleaned faster. Can you to streamline meal preparations? I have a great cookbook called "Saving Dinner" (http://tinyurl.com/5u5vov) Our family absolutely lives out of this cookbook. It makes my grocery list and meal preparation SOOOO much faster. Can you ask your husband to help with the housework/chores? If you do this, you have to be willing to accept the way he does those chores. If you are financially able, can you hire someone to come in and clean every couple weeks, or once a month. They really are more reasonable than you might think, and it is a big help to have the heavy-duty scrubbing done. In my house, the best thing I can do for my peace of mind is to declutter. When my house is cluttered, I spend my "free" time fluttering around picking things up and moving them around, trying to dust here and wipe there, never really accomplishing anything, and getting more and more stressed out. When it is decluttered, I find that I am able to sit down and relax, just relax! FlyLady has some awesome (QUICK, and EASY TO DO) decluttering routines. They really help.

I guess the biggest advice I can give is that you have to let some things go during this season of life. Your house isn't going to be clean, the dishes probably won't all be done, the laundry doesn't need to be folded up and put away every time. Figure out what you can streamline, what you can cut and what you can live without for a little while. The best thing you can do for your family is go to be early and get some rest. I personally have a really hard time going to bed at night, because that is the only time no one is hanging off of me or wanting anything. I love it, and it's so hard to force myself to go to sleep, but I definitely feel better when I get a good night's rest.

If you are really ready to wean your baby, I say go for it. What you have done for him so far is wonderful. Parenting is and always will be a push-pull between meeting our kids needs and meeting our own needs. All any of us can do is the best we can do. Beyond that, there is nothing to feel guilty about! However, I would also look at what other things you can do to streamline your life. It is unlikely that simply eliminating pumping is going to bring everything into balance.

Best of luck,
S.

ps - I also second getting your thyroid tested. I was completely exhausted (like, worse than when I was pregnant) and SO irritable with everyone. Within a couple weeks of taking my thyroid supplement, I felt pretty much normal again!

You absolutely ROCK for pumping for that long! Good for you! Don't feel guilty - you have given breastmilk to your little one for way longer than the majority of women in the US do. You have nothing to feel guilty about! Sorry he doesn't sleep through the night. Neither do either of mine. There should be a club!
Anyway, your heart will tell you the right decision, but you need to remember to take care of YOU, so all three of your babies and your hubby get the best mom they can get!
Good luck!

I would say do whatever you need to do to make yourself happy. If you are stressed about having to pump all the time it is probably impacting your whole family. You have a done a great thing by pumping as long as you have (pumping is hard and there is no satisfaction from it I think). If transitioning to forumla will make you (and everyone in your family happier) then I would say do it and don't feel guilty about it. You have provided breast milk for far longer than most do. I myself breastfed both of my kids for 8-9 months and went though the same sort of thing .... they both got to a point where they just were not happy breastfeeding any longer (which just stressed me out). Do what is right for you and take care of yourself and the rest will follow.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula. While it still does not perfectly match breast milk, it is closer than ever before, so don't feel guilty about switching him completely to formula. All three of your little ones will benefit more from a mom who is not so strung out. Taking this one thing off your obligation list may be enough to help you not feel overwhelmed.
Don't let anyone tell you you're not a good mom because you didn't breastfeed for a year. He's had great advantages from what you have given him. And he is old enough that he can start having more solid foods now, which may help him sleep better too.
Don't worry - if you're looking at what's best for your family (and a healthy and stable mom is very important!) - then you're making the right decision. And that sounds like what you're doing.

Wow! You must be exhausted!
You have given your baby the very best food you could for nine months, and let's be honest breastfeeding can take a lot out of mom. All the while you were caring for two other small children, being a wife and running a home. It's okay to switch your baby to formula. I think it is better for him to have formula and a mom who is not crazy-tired. It's important for your kids for you to take care of yourself, and that means getting enough (or something close to enough) sleep and eating well so you have the energy to be a great mom to them. Remind yourself when you feel guilty that taking care of you is another way of taking care of them.
Good luck!

You have a lot of good advice already, but I would like to add my little bit in here. In order to be the best mom that you can be, you need to take care of yourself and it sounds like you are struggling there. I would say to you that you just need to wean the baby and get the rest that you need so you can be ready for all the kids, not just the baby. That being said, I know it is hard because you feel guilty about it. Would it be any different if the baby bit you and drew blood? I had my now 2 DS do that at 9 months. Just remember that no matter how he gets his food you are still providing for his needs and he won't wilt away because it isn't breastmilk. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of the family. Good luck, I know it is hard because I have been that and am currently doing this myself.
J.--SAHM of 6

honestly? pray about it. I thought about weaning my baby at 7 months, researched it out, and prayed about it. I felt it would be better to wait until he was 9 months. Every baby is different, and so are the moms. Go by what feels right and not by what anyone says, pro-nursing or not.

My girlfriend (in California) went through the same thing. Follow your intuition, but try to keep in mind how much work and resttime the pumping is taking....Maybe you could better use that and in the long run feel more like yourself? (9 months is a great period of time for nursing)

Good luck!
R.

Of course it is better to breastfeed at least until baby is 12 months, but he is your baby, and you can decide what is best for you and him. Don't feel guilty for wanting to wean him. That you have breastfed for this long is GREAT! As for being exhausted all the time...it's the price you pay for being a good involved mom. I am having a blast with my first grader and 4 yr. old, but I admit I do miss the baby stage and breastfeeding. They grow so fast, and before you know it, your little one is getting on a school bus and waving good-bye instead of latching on to you.

Hey C. - The fact that you have made it for nine months is wonderful. If you feel like you are ready to wean the baby - - just do it. You can still bond with your son by snuggling and giving his bottle. I just weaned my 9-month old daughter and we're doing just fine. My sister has three VERY healthy and happy boys that were only on breastmilk for a couple months. Don't let the "nursing nazis" make you feel bad about your decision!

Hi I'd like to offer some words of encouragement. Although any mom would feel guilty...you shouldn't. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and you shouldn't feel guilty about trying to make your day to day life a little easier. Plus you gave your son 9 months of breast milk! That is wonderful! Give yourself a pat on the back. If you're already supplementing, switching over to only formula should be easy. But really and truly just do what you feel is right. Good luck!

We moms sure now how to feel guilty about everything don't we! You know yourself and your baby better than anyone else and you need to do what feels right. I don't see any reason for you to not just go with formula now. Your son's had breastmilk a good part of his life. When I had my first child I had to stop breastfeeding him when he was about 3 months old and went with formula. I felt like the worst mother in the world because the breastfeeing was just not working for us. He just turned 3 and I look back and can't figure out why I felt so bad about it. I think women should always give breastfeeing a try and if it doens't work for whatever reason, then it doesn't work. There is nothing wrong with only giving your baby formula from now on. Like I said, you know your self and your child better than anyone so you need to do what feels right to you.

I am soooo glad to know I am not the only one feeling this way. My DD is 9 months today and I am also exclusively pumping. She just never took to BFing. I feel like I am stuck to the pump all day long. I will tell you that the three hour feeding schedule is great. I put her on that at 10 weeks and by 12 weeks she was sleeping through the night. Now she goes to bed at 8 and gets up at 7. But now I am trying to figure out how to get her feedings a little longer spaced so that I can start to ween her off the bottle by 12 months. I will tell you that I also supplement with formula twice a day. I have found that the formula bottle before bed has also helped her sleep better. Know that you are not alone!! Good luck.

It is ok to let it go. By 9 mos, your baby is getting less benefit from the breastmilk than he was a few months ago. I pumped for 8 weeks after my daughter was born, since my milk did not come in completely, and I also supplemented w/ formula. I was also on Reglan to help my supply, so I pretty much was a wreck. Once I decided to stop the madness (ie; the pumping, the Reglan), I was a new woman! My daughter is so healthy at 9 mos and has had NO major illnesses, no infections, nothing! Can you put your son on a 3-hr feeding schedule? My DD slept through the night at 12 weeks on a 3-hr schedule during the day. It might be worth the research (I recommend "BabyWise").

Would it help if you just cut out that last pumping? You don't have to go cold-turkey. Cut out that one and see if it helps. Then see how you feel about cutting out another one.
A whole lot of moms who breastfeed are thinking about weaning by this age, if not earlier, and it's much easier than pumping. You deserve a whole lot of congratulations for making it this long.
You probably don't have to worry about this because you said you've been supplementing, but I had a friend who pumped exclusively and got way ahead, with a huge stock of breastmilk in the freezer. So she stopped pumping. When the supply from the freezer ran out, they switched to formula, just to find that their son is allergic to it! But she'd dried up by then. In hindsight, they should have tried some formula before she stopped pumping.

You should feel great about all the effort you have put into giving your baby healthy and nutritious breast milk!

Pumping is a whole different ballgame from nursing. Pumping gives your baby food value, sure, but it lacks two major plusses of breastfeeding an older baby, which are (1) its so easy and convenient, and (2) it is a great way to extend mother-baby bonds. This are major, major reasons (plus the fact that baby often simply doesn't want to wean) that women continue to nurse after their babies are getting nutrition from a variety of solid foods, and formula, including myself.

I pumped while working full-time when my kids were little. By nine months, I was so done with the pump! Since baby's not taking milk directly from the breast, I would say you can let this go completely guilt free, and FAST. It has already been a great sacrifice (and moms make lots of those, its true) to go this long. Your son has a solid nutritional foundation you can be proud of.

I would say if your baby had special needs (allergies) or a medical condition, you could consult with a pediatric dietitian, but a healthy baby, especially your son's age, should be fine with formula at this point (my opinion).

C.,

From the sound of your request it seems as though you'd like to switch over to formula. He is nine months old now and you as his mother can be the only one qualified for that decision. As a mother myself, I bottle-fed and breastfed my three kids. It was worth it to me to have that energy to keep up and to have that time where I wasn't falling asleep when they wanted to read. Formulas these days are good nutrition and if cost isn't an issue then go for it. There is no right or wrong here, as mothers we all just want happy, healthy babies!