Weaning Advise

Hi H. -
My situation was similar to yours - I was ready to stop nursing (although I was very conflicted about it), but my daughter showed no signs of self-weaning. So at 21 months, we started preparing for her 2 yr birthday, when all the milk (mimi is what she called it) would be gone, because she was such a big girl she had drank it all. We worked down to two nurses a day--morning and bedtime--and then just one in the morning by 23 months. Every nurse we would talk about how when she turned 2 the mimi would be gone, making it a good thing because she was going to be a big girl at age 2. We talked about how her birthday party would also be a "no more mimi" party, etc., building it up to be a good thing. The morning of her 2nd birthday came, we had our last nurse, and the following few days were a bit rough in the mornings--we had to break the normal routine by avoiding the situation we used to nurse, ie bringing her in our bed after she work up. I or my husband would get up and play with her, not snuggle in our bed like usual, and when she asked for mimi, remind her she had drank it all because she was a big girl. After a week we could return to our snuggle routine in bed without mimi. A year later (she will be 3 in a few weeks), she still periodically asks to "drink mimi," which makes me feel horrible, but we talk about how she is a big girl and drank all the mimi. She gets over it, and the requests for mimi are fewer and fewer as she gets older. Anyway, the things I think that helped the most was the preparation, giving her a few months to work into the idea, positive reinforcement of being a "big girl" (so big that she drank up all of mommy's mimi!), slowly moving to one nurse a day, avoiding the typical morning nursing situation, and lots of love and snuggles at all times.
Good luck!

I never weaned my son... he nursed throughout my second pregnancy and then I nursed both for a month when he decided he was done... he was 3. I don't regret one minute. Dr. Sears of attachment parenting talk alot about why not to wean... you can find some good stuff online if you google his name and weaning. If you wean her before she's ready she will be obsessed with your breasts and with nursing for years... if you don't wean she will be more independent later and will always know you are there for her. Good luck!

Hooray for you for nursing after the first year. I dont have any advice, I just wanted to give you a pat on the back.
My daughter weaned herself at 14 months. I'm nursing my son now, he is 6 months, and totally attached. I have a feeling he isnt going to wean very easily.

I have heard of moms keeping a bag of lemons around and rubbing them on their nipples before nursing to make them taste bad. Perhaps saying their milk has gone sour? I dunno, thats the best I have.

Good luck, and I look forward to reading the responses you get. :)

Is someone pressuring you to wean? She does still "need" it not just want it. Human milk is for humans and she knows that! I believe very strongly in child-led weaning for the sake of the child's attachment and independence. Kids do so much better if things are on their terms. I read all these posts about kids still asking to nurse a year later and it just makes me think that the child wasn't ready to wean. I DON'T MEAN TO BE OFFENSIVE TO ANYONE, JUST NOTICING WHAT EVERYONE IS POSTING. I don't think that kids who are weaned are traumatized, but study after study has proven that child-led weaning is so beneficial and the healthiest way to go. You've made it two years, what's one or two more :)

I was just recently forced to wean my 12 month old because I was on heavy doses of antibiotics that exacerbated her diarrhea (she was also on antibiotics that initially caused her diarrhea). Her diarrhea was so bad, and I had no choice but to take the medication myself. I was not ready to wean though. She is my third, my other two weaned on their own, one at 10 months and the other at 9 months. Anyway, she used to wake up to nurse, and now she does not (it has only been a few weeks). She transitioned directly to a sippy cup with a straw, no bottles. She loves her milk and sipping from a straw (I bought her special cups for her milk). It was really difficult, especially because neither of us were ready and we did not feel well. I had no choice, so we just snuggled a lot and we actually went away from our normal routine (went away for a few days) which was good because everything was different. After a few days she was fine (I am still tempted to go back, but after the discomfort for me of stopping I really dont want to deal with that again). She is doing great and we are both sleeping throught the night now.

Oh, that was such a bittersweet conversation you had with your daughter. It is hard and now that my daughter is 3, she still looks wistfully at my boobs and occasionally asks for them even though we quit at 2. I think it's a bond that will stick for a long time. We had similar discussions like yours. Lots of them. Acknowledge that you know how much she loves mommy's milk but also stay firm that big girls don't drink momma's milk. Assure her that you still love her even though the milk is going to go away. If you or your husband nursed, you can point out to her that your moms gave you milk when you were babies but they don't do that now because you are big but you all still love each other just as much.
What helped me? Hmmm...lots of patience...and thinking up ways of distracting her, especially around the time you know she would want your milk. Give her a favorite healthy snack as an alternative. Or do something fun like blowing bubbles or painting if it is not meal time. Read more books if it is naptime. My daughter finally settled on using a sippy cup of ice cold water as an alternative to nursing. Of course, I had to wean her from that later in anticipation of potty training. She never took to a lovey, toy or blanket as an alternative to me. But you could try that to see if she would take them.
I applaud you for trying to discuss this with her instead of quitting cold turkey. Good luck!

When I started looking towards weaning my first two children (one on his 3rd birthday, 1 at 39 months) the first real step towards it was night weaning at about 18 months. Then, when I started feeling like it was too much nursing during the day, I started by using "ABC nurses" or "Twinkle Twinkle Nurses" -- it was still whenever they wanted, but it would only be for the duration of once or twice through the song, depending on what was going on. (except under extenuating circumstances -- extreme upset, injury, etc.) with a couple of specific times reserved for longer nursing sessions of however long they wanted (usually first thing in the morning, naptime, and bedtime) From there, we went to nursing only at home, then only ABC nurses except for the 3 big times. I'd try to distract them from wanting to nurse at other times, but not refuse. When it became time to wean for good, they were old enough that we would just have a talk that big boys/girls don't nurse, and that they were 3 now and a big boy/girl. With my son, we picked his 3rd birthday. With my daughter, I was pregnant and my milk dried up, so that was it. There are ways to do it much more quickly, but I found that this was a rather gentle way to go about it, and although my son talked about missing nursing and wishing he was 2 again for quite some time, he was not terribly upset by it, and accepted that he was now a big boy and was done nursing. I'm not sure when I'm going to wean my 19 month old. I've got very mixed feelings about it because he's my last baby and I love nursing, but then again, I've been pregnant or nursing or both since Dec of 2000, and I'm kind of ready for my body to be just mine again.

To each her own, absolutely and each child is different as well. My daughter nursed until she was 3. I aimed to wean when she was 2, but it was clear she just wasn't ready, and honestly, neither was I! But at 2, we cut back to just night and early morning. No middle of the day, fell down and scraped my knee nursing, or middle of the night nursing. The night before her 3rd birthday we had a talk that this was the last "milkies." At that point, she was old enough to actually understand and rationalize about it and she was ready. She was only nursing, well not even nursing (!), just to connect and I think to reassure herself that I, and my milkies, were still there. Her weaning went without a hitch. She's almost 7 now and sometimes still refers to milkies nostalgically. Good luck! And congrats for nursing as long as you have :)

~Liza