Weaning Advice

Hi S.-

If he's waking at 11pm and 3am and won't take a bottle, he wants you not the bottle. It's not about the feeding, it's most likely about the comfort you provide to him during the night when he wakes up. By this age, they really don't need to feed during the night (and yes, I know, you worrry that they are truly hungry and you feel like you're denying them if you don't!). Take it from me, I'm in over my head with this one. I did the same thing and now I have a 14 month old who still won't sleep thru the night. Handle it now, let your husband go to him or just comfort him without nursing or you'll end up in my sitatuion. I was planning to be done nursing at 6 months and here I am 8 months later and trying to wean and she's just not having it. I've read a lot about this and they say it typically takes 3-4 days for them to learn you're not going to nurse them during the night and realize it's not worth waking up for. If I would have known this then, I would have stuck to my guns but didn't realize what was happening until it had been going on for a long time.

Good luck!
D.

If you're questioning whether to wean him, it's easier to put it off than it is to regret doing it and try to start back up again. That said, maybe you can try a comprimise - like waking him to nurse right before YOU go to sleep? (I'm assuming this is around 10:00 or so). This never really worked with my son, but every kid is different - if he's truly hungry then, it should help.

The right thing to do is to do what is best for you and your child. Only you can make that decision.

What is your ultimate outcome? If it is to continue to wean him, then you need to listen to your husband and not rush in. If you cannot stand to hear him cry it out, then you'll have to live with the lack of sleep.

You need to decide which option is best for you and your child, and only you know your family's circumstances. Whichever you decide, commit to it and either way it will work out fine.

I feel your pain!!! My little girl is four months old. I had to go back to work for eight days before summer break (teacher) and she refused to take a bottle while I was away. Now I have decided that I am going to pump and give her a bottle during the day so that we do not have this problem when I go back in August. At first she refused to take the bottle, it has been two weeks now and I can get her to take about 2 oz. at a time. My ped said that she will eat if she is hungry. I too feel that I am ready to be done with breastfeeding at times and other times I cry hysterically at the thought of stopping, my husband thinks I am crazy! Just keep trying and do it little by little...I was told that by a girlfriend and it has made it easier on the both of us! Also, I still try to do all of her feedings so we still have that bonding time!!! You have done a great job making it htis far!! Goodluck!

S. -
My son will be 10 month old in 2wks and has a very similar nursing schedule to your son's. On top of waking up at midnight (after we put him down around 8pm) he also wakes up at 3 or so, but that's not the only thing, we put him in our bed, as I figured it's just easier having him right there and not getting up, when he cries again at 3 am. I work, so I figured that was the only way to get some sleep. My goal is to nurse him the fist year, but I'm not sure if emotionally I'll be ready to wean him from the breast, as I think nursing him is the most beautiful thing. Just like you and your husband, my husband tried to give him a bottle, but he started screaming, until I picked him up and nursed, he managed to fall asleep afterwards. I'm not sure what to do either, I just hope that we'll know when the right time comes. Good luck!

S.:

breastfeeding is not just about food. it is about nurturance.

P., RLC, IBCLC
Pres. Lactation Support Group, Inc
www.lactationsupportgroup.com

There are other things you can do to calm and nurture your son than breastfeeding. If you are truly ready to quit, then you should try it. It will be a transition--that is normal. You've gone almost 8 months already and that is wonderful. Sorry I can't offer anymore advice. Good luck to you and there is nothing to feel guilty about!

If you are at work during the day, he is probably wanting that extra quite time with you. Plus, the more you bottlefeed, the less milk you will produce. I understand wanting to get a little sleep, I have a 15 month old that I'm trying to night-wean and it's been hard. I think that at his age it is totally normal to just want mommy. You'll only be nursing for a finite amount of time and then he won't need you in the same ways so enjoy it now while he's still your little baby.

I also want to comment on what another mother had said. Breastfeeding isn't a bad habit that needs to be broken. Babies/toddlers need their mother whether it be nursing or cuddling or holding or hugs or whatever. So a baby who wants to nurse alot isn't be manipulative, they just instinctively know what they need more than we do.