Weaning a Two Year Old

Hello,

My first son was close to two when I weaned him. He was very emotionally attached to it and I enjoyed the time with him. I found out I was pregnant again and realized I needed to wean him. I had already cut back to just a couple of times a day. One day he sort of playfully bit me, which he had not done in a long time. When that happened I explained to him that we could not nurse anymore and that he was now a big boy. He cried and asked to nurse a lot for a few days but I would just remind him what had happened. After a few days, he still would ask to nurse from time to time, but he did not expect to do so and learned to enjoy other things. I am not saying you need to have an identical stopping method...I do think that going "cold turkey" at a certain point once they are old enough to understand things is probably less painful than lots of starting and stopping for both of you.

Hi O.,
It's been many years since I weaned my children, but I still remember how very hard it was, even though I knew we were both ready. You're well on your way already, and it sounds like you're doing a great job. Bedtime and naptime are the hardest! One of the things I did to eliminate the bedtime weaning was similar to the 'distraction toys' you tried. I started taking time to sit with my child(ren) to read and/or sing. I would get the child all tucked in and ready to sleep, then we would read or sing. I told them we could nurse after the story. At first, we nursed every night. But as long as they knew they could nurse if they wanted to, they soon started falling asleep before the story was done (our reading was very low-key, not animated, done in a quiet even voice). You're right, 2 yr olds definitely can identify a trick!

I also used a 'never offer, never refuse' approach to weaning. When it was a 'nursing time' or if my child asked to nurse, I would offer fruit, juice, or water or (if an appropriate time of day) some activity to distract, but if I was unable to distract them, we would nurse. You want to 'encourage', not 'discourage' - if your toddler gets discouraged, he may want to nurse even more!

This is not the method to use if you want a quick fix - it takes time. But if you're patient (with yourself, and your little man) it will work. Some days are better than others. I found we went from several times a day, to a few days a week, to totally weaned without a lot of upset. I chose not to let my children cry it out, or 'fight' with my children to wean.

I wish you the best at this bittersweet time....

S. S (Mom of 5, step-mom of 3, Grammy of 6, former foster mom to 85+ infants & toddlers)

Hi O.,

I guess my first question would be why the pressure to wean now since physically and emotionally you are both still so attached? If nursing him at night and the morning will suffice, I wonder why the push...I nursed my 4 year old daughter until her 3rd birthday, when we had a talk about it and agreed that on her birthday we would be done. It was actually really easy at that point, since she understood.

It will be hard to get a 2 year old to understand so I wonder if maybe you find a compromise and limit the nursing to certain times (before bed and early in morning) and be sure he is clear on that. Obviously, I am a strong advocate of nursing and support nursing as long as possible. The world average is 4 years old for weaning.

Good luck!
Liza
29 year old mom of 4 year old girl.

I also nursed until about 2 years 3 months and then weaned. I never expected to nurse this long. I just enjoyed it and it just happened.

Anyway, the first thing is to be sure YOU are ready to wean. If you are not sure, it won't happen and it will give mixed messages. The first time I tried, I wasn't too sure about it, and I think that's why it didn't work.

Anyway, the second time worked. The key was finding a very special treat to substitute for the breast-feeding. We used a "special" story and chocolate milk. Our daughter hadn't tried chocolate milk and was really excited about it. We really played it up--telling her she was a big girl now and got to have choc milk instead of breast milk. So, at bed/nap times I would hold her in the same breast-feeding position and tell her a story and give her a sippy cup of chocolate milk to drink. She loved it!

Then, over time we switched to regular milk. She is now 3 and still likes milk before bedtime and we still tell the stories and use the special breast-feeding rocking chair before bed.

I agree with Sue S! Great advice!

Good for you for nursing for so long! I weaned at about 15 months and it was because she was losing interest because she could get more milk from a bottle or cup. I would have weaned her at about 13 or 14 months but physically I was starting to get engorged so I continued to pump (when I was at work) and nurse occasionally. I have heard many ways to wean. You could try just cutting out 1 or 2 nursing times a week until you are done. I have also heard about moms just telling their kids that the milk is literally all gone, and surprisingly from what I have heard that their toddlers really seem to get it. I think communicating with them about what is going on makes it less stressful on both of you. Good Luck and congrats again on breastfeeding!

Hi O.,
have you tried to make your breasts not taste good? Try rubbing your nipples with a bitter substance like Artemisia absinthium tea! Try it! Will definitely work, but don't do it too often, due to the etherical oils in the tea... Good luck,
A., 37, formerly of Salem, MA

I never sat down, LOL! If I didn't sit down, they didn't ask to nurse, or at least if I didn't sit down in the place where I usually nursed them. And at night I had my husband take them to bed and take care of that for awhile, it worked out well without a lot of fuss. Good luck!

Hey good for you! I nursed for a little over a year and was down to one nursing a day when I weaned my son. Maybe pick one time to start with and substitute the nursing with a sippy cup and something else-maybe a story or a new toy, something to break the routine. If it is all possible, have someone else engage him at this time as well. My son was nursing only first thing in the morning, so we substituted my husband giving him a bottle and then a cup. I tried to give him extra love and attention during the trasniton period. He was furious the first few times but very quickly got into a new routine! GHood luck!

C

Hi~ I too nursed my youngest until 2 and it was tough to wean him. I was mostly nursing before bed and when he would wake up during the night. UGH no one was getting any sleep. I started having my Husband put him to bed and them go into room whenever he woke. It was a very tough transition. So we did that for a little bit and then I eventually went away for three nights. When I came back he didnt ask to nurse but we had to establish a new night time routine so that he felt as secure as he did when he nursed. He is now a very well adjusted 3 year old. Good luck and go at your own pace.