Weaning - Highlands,TX

Honestly, without any support from another adult at night, night weaning will be very hard. If you can get him on board, this is a really good approach to night weaning:

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

It sounds like he needs that time at night to reconnect after being apart from you all day, and he's just not ready to wean yet. If you want to fight him on it, you can, but it might be much easier to wait a couple of months and see if he's ready then.

I allowed my child to decide when she was ready to wean. The very short period of time in which you may feel inconvenienced or having alack of freedom is such a very short time span of the raising of your child.

Your young son has shown an obvious and quite blatant need to still have Mommy next to him and to nurse. Why would you deny him that? Don't be mad at your toddler - or yourself. Nursing past infanthood is very beneficial for all involved. The immune boosting benefits alone are worth continuing to nurse! You will be happy you are when your son starts daycare and he's not as sick as the rest of his classmates. Nursing also helps lessen the terrible two's and three's whining and melt downs.

You can still go out on date nights, go on trips for a day or two... and still continue to nurse. Most children will not wean easily before the age of 2 y/o - unless forced or pushed by their parent. Baby's first teeth are called milk teeth for a reason... nursing to 3 or 4 is not uncommon in other developed nations where formula is a rarity and healthier living is a standard of life... not like it is here in America.

My son is 13 months and we are working on weaning. The first couple nights were the worst beause I too nursed him in my bed.( all night long),so I just started putting him in his crib. Everytime he woke up to nurse I would just put him back to sleep. Sometimes he got up every hour I would just go in and rub his back or rock him. It's not his fault he wants to nurse. I also made myself a rule that after his bedtime nursing I would not let myself nurse him until 5am. Each night he slept a little long before the demands came and finally after about 4 nights he slept until 5am. That was like a month or so ago and we have now gone 6 nights without nursing at bedtime so he is down to the 5am feeding and mid afternoon (wich I think will be the hardest even though I don't do it at nap time) So I will probably stop the 5am feeding at the end of the week wich will be tough because I will have to probably get up at 5 for a couple days.Don't let your husband discourage you. Mine NEVER helped either in the night. You can do. Think of the mini vacation..

From what I have read, it is very hard to wean a child between 1 and 2, especially if they aren't initiating it.

That being said, I got my son to night wean when he was about 15 months by using the method in the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Pantley. I basically got him up when he cried like normal and brought him to bed with me. I let him nurse, but only for a short time (like 5 min maybe?). Then took him off. If he fussed, I put him back on, but for a shorter time the next time, and if he fussed again, again a shorter time. You have to have the willpower to stay conscious and alert for a little while when he wakes up for a while (like I would say a couple weeks, max). I would leave little scraps of paper on my bedside table and scribble down when he woke and how many times he would want to reattach. Gradually he learned that he wasn't going to get what he really wanted (ie sleeping next to me and nursing all night) and started waking later and later until he just stopped waking at all. There is very little crying involved and it is a gentle way to get them to stop. It was very successful for us, I think it only took about a week.

And yeah, not nice of your husband. Mine didn't get up much but that was because all they wanted was nursing and I figured it was pointless for him to wrestle with them while they cried for me and I would lie in bed awake and feeling terrible. Only purpose it served was that I wasn't the only one awake. I took my oldest to bed with me too cause it was the only way I could get enough sleep to function. Nothing bad about it, it is very normal and natural way of doing things.

Children adapt better when change occurs gradually. I just finished weaning my 16 month old so I speak from recent experience. I always wean my babies over 5-6 weeks, eliminating about 1 feeding every 6-7 days. When I weaned from night nursing (he was 13 + months then and nursing 3-4 times between 11pm and 6am) I would pick a feeding and offer a sippy cup of juice/ milk/water while holding him. First couple times he threw the cup, but gradually he took it and I would rock him back to sleep. After I eliminated all breastfeeding between 10pm and 5 am (I fed him at 6am or after), I started working on the other feedings. Finally, I eliminated the last one, the before bed feeding, by shortening the time he nursed very gradually and helped him fall asleep without my breast in his mouth. Then 3 nights ago he just went to sleep without it and we were done. No crying, no trauma, just peaceful weaning. Please be patient, progress super slow and allow for regression (especially if he gets sick). My husband and I have never both been away overnight from our 3 kids, so I'm not much help there. Best wishes! Nurse midwife mom of 3

Personally, I could never put up with the "let him cry it out" idea. I had the luxury of being able to wait until my babies were willing to start weaning (I suppose you could say when they "initiated" it).

I thought the responses from Meredith C and from Andrea S were fantastic.

Though you feel that you can't wait, consider having a practice night leaving your son (or son and daughter) with those who are going to care for them while you and your husband are on vacation at the end of June. Maybe a Friday night. You don't mention if your mother will care for them. You may find that, without you around, he may drink from a bottle just fine (like at daycare) a few times during the night. Because it is with someone who is not MOM, your son will most assuredly behave quite differently. Then, when the end of June arrives, three nights (I'm guessing here) without you might be manageable.

Upon your return, I can practically assure you that he will cling to you like a magnet to a paper clip!! Please give him as much attention as he wants until he feels safe that your aren't going to "leave him" again.

One tip I have is to substitute a nighttime nursing session with a snuggle session. Maybe one time a night for 6-7 days before trying for two times each night, etc. Babies nursing at this age get almost all of their nourishment during the day. It is the comforting and closeness (attachment) that is important. Nursing your baby has become time for "Mom and me" time -- which IS extremely important. There are studies which show that loss of this bonding time can slow the baby's stages into independence.

Also remember, your son won't be 17 months old again, ever! All of us parents have to balance raising our children, fanning our marriage life, and making the time for taking care of our selves. You are not alone! I'm praying for you.

Good luck! and I hope your husband starts looking forward to this vacation almost as much as you are!

Just keep with it. There is no need for a baby to night feed after the first few weeks of life, they do it because we train them to, and now you have to re-train him since you let him learn this bad habit. It will take a few nights, buy if you are consistent he will get it.

How wonderful that you are going on a vacation with your husband. Your kids need a break from you as much as you need a break from them. If you start to miss your kids, do not let your husband know. He sounds like he just needs to have some alone time with you - that's a good thing! It doesn't mean that he won't miss the kids. It just means that he loves you and needs to know that you love him.

Have fun!

First congrats on being able to nurse him for so long. I was one of those mommas that was apposed to the CIO method. I also thought that I would breast feed any baby I had untill they were a yr old. Well my breasts had a different plan. After a year the pedi suggested that I allow my son to sleep through the night. It took three nights and he did really well. I did send him to bed with a sippy cup of milk, sneaking in after he went to sleep to get it so if he did wake in the middle of the night he was not drinking old milk. When I had my second I again was going to make my breasts work no matter what. Well again these ol' girls had a totaly different plan. I tried so hard to rock my baby to sleep and have that "special bonding time". Then I realized that the poor girl was exausted and needed some sleep so I sent her to her bed crying. Five mins later she was sleeping great! She has been sleeping through the nigh since she was about six months. I know that its not pc but i bottle fed and used the CIO method and were ok. Were really ok. It might take several nights but your son needs his sleep as much as we do. Perhaps even more as he is growing and developing. Its ok at his age to allow him to get in a sleep pattern and to understand that he no longer needs mommy breasts to help him along. they have done there job. you can go in and comfort him but this only angered my kids more. it only took us a few nights. i cant say that i blame your hubby for his lack of support. he is frustrated. but again i am not pc and i belive your hubby comes first!!!