I have finally been successful in weaning my almost-two year old. But now it's like I'm no good to her. She gets easily mad at me, yelling and hitting. When she's tired--look out. She doesn't want me near her or to hold her but she doesn't want me to put her down. She wakes up in the middle of the night screaming No! No! and starts hitting me--hard. Again the more I try to comfort her, the madder she gets. And to top all this off, after my sister-in-law watched her the other day, she cried an hour for her "Tia" running to the door and trying to leave. Is this normal? A phase? Is there a cure? Before this she was known as "Mom's Hip" because she was always in my arms: I used to joke that she was just keeping her meal close--but maybe that was true. Maybe without her "Mimis" I'm just the lady who lives here. Words of advice would be appreciated.
P.S. I don't know if this is relevant but I am pregnant too. Just 11 weeks, but is it possible she feels a change in my energy or spirit or something?
My guess it's the age. My twins are two, and right before their birthday we started noticing behavior like this. I think it's a coincidence that it happened right around the time you weaned her.
Hi Mama-
I am not sure her actions have much to do with the weaning or the new pregnancy. What I am seeing is a mini rebellion. Hitting should NEVER be allowed under any circumstance. Do you have disciplinary methods in place? If you do, you need to use them and start really enforcing them. If not, the time has now come.
I am experiencing something similar with my 15 month old. He is challenging us and since we started challenging him back - forcing him to look at us when we speak, using the time out chain for bad behavior, etc. - we have seen a vast improvement. He is a very bright boy but has yet to vocalize his needs and desires so I think we are working against that a bit too. We have been using sign language which he readily uses and repeats, but no words.
Granted, with a 2YO, this is a bit different - she should be able to speak, but then again, she may not have the correct words and you may need to help her sort out her feelings and give her the words she needs to communicate better with you.
Don't be afraid to do all of these - discipline, challenge, acknowledgre feelings and work to increase vocabulary.
Good luck.
~C.
I think the problem is that she is almost two - not the weaning part. I think its just a phase and I would keep being sweet and patient with her.
A few months after my daughter was born, my own almost two year old didnt want anything to do with his dad - he yelled if my husband tried to talk to him, play with him, give him food, anything. He only wanted mommy to give him food, hold him, play with him and he stuck so close to me I would trip over him. After a month or so, he went back to being Daddy's boy.
I think in our case, the baby had something to do with it, but I definitely do not think in EITHER sistuation that the toddler really hates his parent.
Wow, this must be hard. I feel for you. My son weaned himself rather suddenly and dramatically the day that his sister was born. I had expected to tandem nurse, but he had other ideas. He would get really frustrated and angry at traditional nursing times like nap. This phase lasted for about a month in my son's case.
I think the kids can definitely sense a change with a pregnancy. They're smarter and more sensitive than we sometimes think.
I would suggest a very firm response to the hitting. If she hits you, then you temporarily separate yourself from her. Maybe you could say something like "I love you too much to let you hit me. I'll be happy to be with you again when you're ready to be respectful." I don't imagine that will be easy for either of you in her present phase, but I would consistently give something on that order a try for a while.
She does still love you, and not just your Mimis. It's got to be hard to be little, and she's showing it, but you've spent two years nurturing a solid, loving relationship with her, and she'll come around soon. Good luck.
.
She could be honing in on your pregnancy. My daughter (she was 4 at the time), told me I had a baby in my belly... An HPT confirmed it the next day.
I've just weaned my 2.5yr old from a paci. While it's not his food, it was still very much his comfort. He's been screaming and crying and hitting for 4 days now... I've been told that this will pass very soon. Maybe the same for you?
I'll update you on mine... You update me on yours! Good luck!
I nursed my baby a long time--past three+ years. When I thought that it was finally time to wean him, I prayed and asked the Lord to help me with this. I asked that my son not feel rejection--I just surrendered it all to the Lord. After that, before bedtime, my son would say, "Let's read a book, instead of nurse." Then, he got a cold and it was difficult for him to nurse. A month went by, and he said, "Oh! I forgot to nurse!" I told him that it was all gone, and that was the end of that! I felt that the Lord helped make the transition easy. Therefore, I would suggest to try prayer.
The book 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan will support you in creating effective forms of discipline and give you a new perspective on your daughter's behavior.
that is a tough one, and i can see how hard/frustrating that would be!
She might be teething (which would explain orneriness)
And then again, i like your thought process on the energy of the new pregnancy.
Most kids are weened around age one, I am guessing, so I can see how an older child would find it more emotional and harder to detach.
She'll get over it... she will love you after this phase, you should go gather a bunch of cute library books to prepare her for new baby (even though its a LONG way out, and it might be too soon to get her wonder up)
I weaned my two girls when they were 2 1/2 and 3, the way I did it was to replace nursing wiht a new activity, usually reading books, but with my second that didn't always work well so walk outside was a better fit for her. If you siomply take away something that the child enjoys it feels like a terrible loss to them, but if you replace it with something else that they enjoy, it really softens the blow. Try to find something soothing to your daughter that you can do when she would normally have nursed and see if it helps. Something that is soothing to her and not difficult to do. When she wakes up in the night maybe rocking and a lulaby would help, or even a sippy cup of very watered down juice (cavities could result from regular juice or milk). Good luck, your daughter loves you very much, she is just having a hard time right now.
