B.A.
Ah A., you're not spoiling her. You're a mom who wants to treasure every moment with your one and only. There's nothing wrong with that. Do you want to wean her because everyone says "you should" or do you want to wean her because YOU'RE ready to wean? That's the first question you need to answer. If your answer is truly because you are ready to wean, I can give you some suggestions as I weaned a 2 year-old last fall. We were in a similar situation, she is my last (of 4) and I treasured that quiet time with her, but she was getting too rough and I was ready to quit. Basically, whenever she wanted to nurse, I'd say "no, not right now" and offer her a sippy cup or distract her with a book. We had a few power struggles for about 4 days but once she realized I was serious that was that. She tried to nurse a few more times after that but we were truly done after about a full week.
Now, if you've asked yourself the question "am I ready to wean" and the answer is NO, don't let other people tell you what you "ought" to do. There is nothing wrong with nursing a 14-month-old. If you want to eliminate that night-time feeding (which is probably not healthy for her teeth) then eliminate that night-time feeding, it will take about a week of you just being consistent and loving in other ways, but it is possible. (I've found that every lifestyle/routine change with my kids takes about a week!) Instead of offering the breast in the middle of the night go in, pick her up and give her a quick snuggle and kisses, and then tell her it's time for night-night, you'll see her in the morning. Put her back down and leave. Let her cry for a minute, then go back in and pat her on the head or the bum, tell her it's time for night-night, and then leave. Let her cry for 2 minutes. Go back in, lay her down if she's standing, tell her it's time for night-night, and then leave. Let her cry for 3 minutes. Go back in, say nothing and lay her down and leave. Let her cry for 4 minutes. Keep repeating this step, adding another minute each time. She will probably be asleep within 10 minutes but it may take longer. It's really hard the first two nights, and then she will get the idea and each night will take less and less time.
One other thing: I've found night-time routines are extremely important. If you don't have one already, I suggest finding one that works for you. We start with bathtime around 7 p.m., then jammies, then stories, then singing 3 songs and then into the bed. A consistent routine will go miles toward eliminating bedtime problems!
Good luck!!