No one ever tells you how hard the 3's are. Sigh. I feel like all I ever do is yell anymore. I know this is a really hard age for him, and he is probably just as frustrated as I am. I feel like he is spending every 20 minutes in time out. Between throwing toys, pushing his little sister, refusing to go to the bathroom alone, not eating dinner, and about 15 other things, I just want to check out and leave our kids with my husband for a week.
How do you deal with the phase : /
I really did not mean to post this 3 times, I'm not even sure how that happened. Atleast I got a laugh for today!
Teach him "coping-skills".
These things are taught. Not automatic skills.
And teach him problem-solving.
And how to say how he feels. The words for it. Teach him the words. Teach him how to say it with sentences.
Just punishing... does NOT teach these things to a child.
Yesterday my 3 year old hit her grandfather with a pot. Yeah... I'm right there with you. Hang in there!!!
I want PATIENCE and I want it RIGHT NOW!!!
Been there, so glad I'm now the grandma and can love them, even babysit for a few days and send them home. Some day you will remember all of this with tenderness and little sadness, but then the grand babies come along :-).
Grand children are nature's reward for not killing your children when they are young. ;-)
Thank goodnesss I am not the only one either BUT mine is two. He wont stay seated at the dinner table, throws a fit when he doesn't get his way and hasn't learned to cope. My daughter was a fun "kid" until she turned three and then my husband and I really didn't like her anymore - LOL. She is just now getting to an age where we enjoy her more as she is about to turn 5. My two year old on the other hand is a piece of work. I now know boys develop differently than girls but he is the one I need more patience with. He is the one constantly hitting and pushing and bitting - ahh! My daughter didn't go threw this and I know some of it he learned from her but he is driving me crazy. I don't have enough patience to "deal" with him and find myself getting very frustrated very often. I finally printed a response from a Mom on Mamapedia and posted it on my fridge to constantly remind me to have patience, slow down and think before I repsond to my kiddos actions, to encourage and praise when they are being great kids and reprimand when it is necessary. Sorry, went off on a tangent there. I do with you all the luck in the world as I feel very challenged right now and am struggling myself. Take care Mom's!
Do we have the same 3 year old? ; )
I agree...it is a rough age on Everyone ( 3 year old included)
Make time for you...a short walk Alone if possible after dinner, a hot bath
( alone!) and if none of these is possible pushing bedtime up and having a few quiet moments before your own bedtime.
Is there someone who could give you a little break? Sometimes I just feel like if I do not get away I will lose it and it is amazing what a fresh prospective you can have after even a short period of time away.
Have a quiet time during the day if your little one no longer naps...you can just cuddle, read books, or play quietly. I have "special toys" that I only bring out on rare occasions like play dough and some special puzzles so that they hold my little guys interest. Also we have times when we just get silly and turn music up and dance when I don;t think I can take another episode of Barney! The weather will be getting warmer and we will be able to play outside more and add water play and then it will not be as hard.
Our son just turned 4, and I so agree about the 3s!! It doesn't go away automatically at 4 either, but I think we're just more used to it, plus they are a little more independent and we get a little break. No good advice for you except practice your patience as much as possible, just suck it up and time will pass and he'll get better. Good luck!
My twin boys are almost 2 and I experience the throwing of toys, not eating dinner and only one of them pushes the other one or pulls his hair. I definitely put him in time out for the violence, and then I tell him to hug his brother to say sorry. It's funny now, because the other one will cry and when his brother gives him the hug, he smiles and stops crying.
As far as the food, I mostly have that one covered because I stand before the one refusing with the spoon of food in my hand and I just keep saying yes when he is screaming and shaking his head no. If he flings his body and hangs down the side of the high chair, I do put him back in a sitting position and keep that spoon in front of him saying yes. He finally gives up and opens his mouth and takes the food. Then I tell him good boy and then sing a song that they like to take their mind off of it. Then usually they don't do it again (at that time), for sure the other boy doesn't because he doesn't want to go through it with me. My rule is they have to have 5 bites before we call it quits. That might sound harsh, but I used to give in and then they would get out of the high chair and 15 minutes later they would want snacks. So I hold firm and it becomes a matter of who can outlast the other. Then I know I have to outlast them or they will use that against me in other things. I guess I'm giving tough-love, LOL!
Good luck. I see that I have lots to look forward to when they are 3! :o)
Yes, this age is tough! But, remember that it is not about you. Your child isn't trying to frustrate you and make you angry. He is learning, stretching boundaries, growing. I remember when my oldest was about that age when all of this dawned on me. It wasn't about me. It was about him learning. He didn't set out to test my patience. How do I deal with that phase (I have 6 children who have gone through this phase/age). With patience and grace. Love your son. Teach him gently. Redirect him. Discipline him. I have to say that I think time-outs are useless. We never use them. We also don't do restrictions or send the kids to their rooms. We deal with whatever issue needs our attention right away. We don't let things stew and grow. We discipline and restore relationships. We don't yell either. We are modeling proper behavior for our children, and they are taking notes! Do you want your child to mimic the way you interact with him? I know, it's a huge responsibility! Step back and reconsider how you are approaching the raising of your son. Perhaps you are "busy" all day when he needs your direct attention. Shepherd your son. Remember that you love him, even when he is trying your patience. Sometimes that helps a lot. And remember that it is not about you, but about him. It's normal. And you have a great gift in being his mother, able to shape the person he becomes. Hang in there!!
I am right there with you! I thought it was all about the terrible two's.
I have the added bonus of having a dd with learning and speech delays, so she has a very difficult time verbalizing what she wants, resulting in horrible tantrums. But then she has days, like today, where she is just the sweetest little cutie pie, and I wonder if she could possibly be the same little girl that had me disolved in tears yesterday because I felt so helpless!
Good luck mama!
Mama, I am sorry, they all have their times, I think that is why they are so damn cute and funny, is like it is their defense mechanism, lol.
I am not there "yet" with my toddler, but I have a 13 year old too.
I don't remember exactly how she was at 3, but I can tell you that she is now a very smart, independent, polite, funny, well mannered, etc, etc, and I don't think I was the best mom ever or that she wasn't perfect all the time.
We had our times, and some really bad days, but they don't seem so bad now. Now our problems (no boyfriend, no facebook, no make up, etc, etc) seem so hard, harder then the tantrums when she was little, lol.
I am sure when she grows up I would look back and this will look no so bad then.
You keep teaching right from wrong, keep loving him, keep being clear with what is good and what is not, and things will soon move on....to the next wet of parenting troubles, lol.
Hang on there, this too should pass.
