Waking at 4:30Am!

Updated on August 11, 2009
V.M. asks from Lincoln, MA
7 answers

Dear Moms,

My 11 month old daughter has been waking at 4:30 every night for the last few months. When it started she would wake at 2:30 and 4:30 - at 2:30 she would go back down pretty easily, and now she does so with just a few "shhhhs" - but the 4:30 wake up just gets worse and worse. It used to take 30 - 60 minutes but she would go back down and sleep a bit longer - but the last few weeks she will just scream and stand up until it's 6:30 and time to get up anyway. We've been doing the Baby Whisperer "Pick Up/Put Down" technique, but it just isn't making a dent at 4:30 and my husband is getting so frustrated he's starting to disengage (or worse, resorts to picking her up out of the crib!) She sleeps in our room, which is necessity, not choice, but I'm sure it doesn't help matters. I'm just concerned for her lack of sleep and to be honest, I haven't gotten a full night's sleep since she was born which is beginning to take it's toll (I suppose it's fine now while I'm not working, but theoretically I'll be finding a job soon). Also, I'm concerned sometimes she's crying so much because she's genuinely hungry, or is teething (one morning I finally got up with her after 1 1/2 hours of her crying her eyes out only to find she'd cut two new teeth!) Is there anyway to help her sleep through (and get the required 11 hours) without putting her through this torture? She is such a delight and so good natured, but 4:30am is like witching hour! ;-) Thanks in advance!

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to thank everyone so much - it was a great reminder that actually, our babies don't always go "by the book" and that perhaps the best solution is actually just giving her want she wants (and needs!). I've taken her to bed with me the last 2 mornings on all your sound advice and she has gotten the extra few hours of sleep she needs and is already eating better which is a brilliant result. Also, the teeth are coming in really quickly so I would rather comfort her unnecessarily than not be comforting her at all! Such a great reality check - thanks to everyone!!!!

More Answers

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H.B.

answers from Boston on

This is a tough age for babies, and night-waking is a part of it. I'm skeptical of the baby-whisperer technique... while, yes, sometimes our babies are waking at night and we don't ever find a tangible reason, often their waking due to teething or hunger or they just need comforting. Can you imagine how hurt or angered you would be if your husband only patted you on the back while you cried for 1.5 hours? wouldn't you rather be held and hugged?

try Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution - I have found with both my daughters (both had a terrible time sleeping, falling asleep, staying asleep) that Pantley's approach is reasonable and doable... and successful!

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S.B.

answers from Providence on

Ugh! I feel your pain - my son used to think 4:30 was a fabulous time to get up also. I'm sorry to admit that I would just get him up and take him to bed with me - it guareenteed another hour of sleep. I don't think I got a full night's sleep until about 20 months and I now know when he is teething because he wakes up during the night again. What time does your daughter go to bed? I read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and the doctor said that if your child was getting up too early put them to bed earlier!
Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

Oh I feel for you. I am sure you are exhausted. A couple of ideas/thoughts you may already have had/tried, but worth throwing out there. If she's in your room anyway, and she will sleep if you bring her into your bed, perhaps it's worth doing that. I guess I am not sure it's a huge difference at this age if she's in your same room whether she's in your bed versus in her crib in your room. I know lots of people who bring them in when they wake up early for a few more hrs of blessed sleep.

If this is not an option you'd like to pursue, what about the other baby whisperer technique - wake to sleep? If she predictable wakes at 4:30, you go over at like 4:15 and gently almost but not quite wake her up - just sort of prod her until she's almost roused and then sooth/pat her back to sleep (all without picking her up of course). THen she should sleep through that trigger point, in theory. Worth a try if you haven't - it means you'll have to get up a few nights in a row at 4 or 4:15 to do it and it might even be useful to try it at the 2am wake point as well if it works. Probably start with the 4:30 one first since that's the problem and if successful apply to the earlier time.

If it's really due to teething or some other event/milestone/disruption, it won't matter what you try it's just waiting until that moment has passed.

When my little one was for sure teething I gave her infant motrin before bed, that seemed to help through the worst of it.

best of luck! May a full night's sleep be in your near future.

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K.A.

answers from Boston on

She may be waking up and seeing you which wakes her further. Some families I know have put up a curtain between crib and bed.

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A.A.

answers from Boston on

My son didn't sleep through the night until 18 months. For the last month of it, or so, he would do the same thing your daughter is doing and since I can't deal with being up that early, I would give him a bottle, change him while he was drinking it, let him finish in my arms, then put him back down and he'd go right back to sleep. I was worried about building a bad habit, but honestly, I could do this and it would take about 15 minutes, or I could be up for the day or hours with crying. I'm lazy and chose the SLEEP! Eventually, he just slept longer and longer.
I'm not saying this is the best solution, but it worked for me and got me and him the most sleep.

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A.B.

answers from Boston on

I know how you feel. My girl is 6 months and she is teething. I haven't had a full night of sleep since she was about 1 month. I do find however that Hyland's Teething Tablets help tremendously with the teething! You can also give Badger Night Night Balm a try (I haven't tried it yet but it should arrive in the mail soon), and Calms Forte 4 Kids. None of these are drugs, so don't worry about that, it is all natural and homeopathic.

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S.C.

answers from Burlington on

My son went through bouts of sleeping through by himself and waking in the night. During the times he was in my room he would always wake at earliest light and seeing us he'd stay awake. I still nurse and when he did wake I'd feed him and let him sleep with me. He's almost 2 now but he sleeps through to 6 or 6:30. It comes in time for them all. I found the No Cry Sleep Solution to have some really good suggestions. And someone wrote that we, as adults, sleep with another person for love and comfort so why should we deny our babies the same love and comfort. After I read that I worried far less about letting him into our bed and slept a lot more.

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