Very Young Daughter with Period.,need Personal Experience Feedback :-)

Updated on August 05, 2014
H.S. asks from Kings Mills, OH
22 answers

So, my 9 yr old started her period today. I'm not shocked or upset, but i did think I have a little more time before it happened. I was also 9.5 when I started, so I knew her chances were likely to also. She's un-phased, and very calm about it. We have the American girl book, "The care and keeping of you", and have read over it a lot over the last year. It's a great book! She knew what was coming.

I have a two part question.

I've spent my morning on google, and of course, I'm left scared about things online. There are blogs about early puberty all over, and it's very common, but I am finding a few things are bothering me. It appears from a medical standpoint that once a girl starts her period, she will only grow about 2-3 more inches taller than the height she is at the onset. If this is true, my daughter is 52 inches tall, and will only grow to be 55 inches tall? That's 4'7". I find this very hard to believe. She's small, most girls in her class are taller. She's not going to be 6 feet. I'm 5'4", and my husband is 5'7". I don't have unrealistic expectations for her height, but can early puberty leave her very short? I thought I'd see if this rang true for anyone else? Anyone have a personal experience to share about themselves or their daughter?

Secondly, is it ok for me to forego the bulky pads and introduce, tween tampons? She's in gymnastics, and swimming. People don't just quit activities because they got their period. I just think it makes sense to prevent an embarrassing situation with her peers. Any thoughts are appreciated!

TIA

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M.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

My cousin started hers at 8, and it definitely didn't stop her growing. She was an average-sized kid, and grew to be 5'7.

I would go ahead and see if she wants to try the tampons... Or even let her use pads for regular use, and tampons for swimming/gymnastics... Whatever she is comfortable with.

5 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My daughter had her first period at nine, and it did NOT stunt her growth, She was average height at nine, and stopped growing at 5' 7".
She went straight to junior-size tampons.

3 moms found this helpful

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

When kids enter puberty too soon, they miss that adolescent growth spurt.
I'm site you've discussed this with her pediatrician, and possibly an endocrinologist? If not, you probably should.

I was 12, I believe, and after a few disgusting months of pads, my mom bought me some slim Tampax.
Tampons are only "felt" if they're not inserted far enough. I'd give her the option.

Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

How tall are you? If you still grew why do you think she won't?

My girls went right to using tampons, heck the teen didn't really work for my daughter so she just stole mine. They both live, they both seem healthy.

3 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Don't read all the hype on the internet. Most of it is just that, hype that usually scares us and will make you think you are dying of some dreadful disease.

I applaud you for being so open minded and having communication with your daughter so she knew what to expect and is un-phased. Good job mom.

As for the tampons, yes of course. I think my daughter wore a pad the first time she had her period and after one uncomfortable pad, she switched to tampons. She does wear a pad at night but that is different because she isn't active in the night!! She is 19.

Good luck! Hopefully your daughter will not suffer from painful cramping and such.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

It is OK to skip pads if that works for your DD. I would talk to her about both options and at that age, I might encourage pads at night so she doesn't forget she's wearing a tampon overnight. I'd also want to be sure she understood TSS (my college friend got it and was very very sick).

If you are concerned about height, talk to her doctor. My niece was 10, but grew about 4 inches later and is now about 5'1". I think my SD grew about 4" after her period started, too.

3 moms found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Were you similar in height to her at that age and did you grow after you got your period? I would go by that. Regardless it's one of those things you'll have to accept no matter what happens so no use worrying if you can help it. Petite girls are every bit as fabulous as tall ones anyway imo.
Yes, tampons are fine. My 8 year old said she wants to use them when she gets hers, and whenever that is, I'll let her.

2 moms found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sorry can't offer much on most of your post, but I see no reason not to use tampons from the get go. That said my first tampon experience was traumatic. I could not get it out and was at my friends house who's dad was a Dr. and had horribles images of having him have to take it out for me. Cried in the bathroom and decided I would get it out myself no matter how much I felt my insides would come along with it. Tampons all the way, just pick a few days when you will be close by to help her through any "stuck tampon" scares.

2 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I think statistics on height are just that: averages. The problem with the internet is the info scares the pants off us - but really, what are you going to do about it? I think the less everyone freaks out about this, the better. Based on the height of your and your husband, she's not going to be huge anyway, but you really can't tell at this young age what's in store for her.

I'd show her both tampons and pads, and see how she feels about it. A good book or two for reference would be excellent - leave them in her room so she can leaf through them whenever she wants. Years ago, girls started on pads because no one wanted to teach them too much about their bodies and vaginas, let alone have them touching themselves or looking at themselves in the mirror. So offer her choices, and support her as I am sure you will. I'd have some of each in the house. Let her know that pads can provide extra security at night especially if her flow changes over time. Let her know that this period might not be the same as the next one (which might not be next month either).

When I worked in a women's clinic, we had to do a lot of supportive coaching to teach women how to insert a new diaphragm, and these were women who supposedly had had some health education. They were often afraid things would get "lost" inside so we had to do a lot of re-education. Make sure whatever books you give her address these myths. You don't want her on the internet researching things herself! So however she wants you to support her learning to use a tampon, you'll do it - just offer her options (watching her, standing outside the door, or leaving her on her own even if she has to "waste" a tampon or two while she practices.

Of course, make sure she knows how to dispose of tampons and pads properly (if you have other kids or if you have dogs, you want to protect waste products from them!). A step-on trash can with a liner might be good. And make sure she changes relatively frequently. A lot of girls in swimsuits and leotards need to be reminded how to tuck the tampon string up inside so it doesn't show or get caught in the elastic.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I also started my period at 9. It was rough on me, but my mom helped me through and did everything to inform me of things I needed to know or was curious about. I am only 5 foot tall! I don't recall exactly how tall I was at 9, but I do remember I was the tallest girl in the class at the time, so maybe you theory is correct. I would say to go for the tampons if you want. I wish my mom would have. It gives you so much more freedom, and you don't feel that bulky pad. I hated that most of all. And I wouldn't worry too much about your daughters height. Lots of men love their women short and petite!

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

9 is not early.
5 is early.
Tampons are fine.
She will be somewhere between 5'4" and 5'7" unless you have tall relatives somewhere back in your gene pool and the tall gene skips a generation or two.
I'm 5'5", my husband is 6'1" and our son is 6'2" at 15.
He might still shoot up a few more inches.
We have some 6'5" cousins so having him be taller than both of us doesn't surprise us very much.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

Most often girls stop growing a year after they start their period (which does mean about 2-3" more). It was true for me. I was 5'0" at age 10 when I started and I ended up 5'1". It doesn't sound like she hit her growth spurt yet if she's only 52 inches. Hopefully this period is just a hormone surge and she'll have her growth spurt before really starting her period.

There is no reason for her to use pads, unless she wants to. I used tampons from the get go. Pads are very uncomfortable.

1 mom found this helpful
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H.G.

answers from Lancaster on

I got my first period at 9 and I eventually grew to 5'6". My daughter got hers at 10 and has grown at least 4-5 inches since then. I've had doctors give us all the "rules" about growth during/after puberty and I swear none of them hold true so don't worry yourself.

My daughter wanted to go swimming early on and after a couple of tries, she mastered tampons. Just make sure that your daughter understands that they need to be changed often - easy to forget for such a young girl. Sounds like she's going to be fine with everything.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

early puberty cannot cause shortness, but not enough calcium can cause shortness. studies have shown that most girls get about half the calcium that actually need, now is the time to add more milk and milk product options. K. h.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.J.

answers from Atlanta on

I was 10.5 when I got mine and was 5' 3" now I'm 5' 8"so that is 5 inches. More than usual, but every girl is different so don't worry when the doctors or books say that! Even if she ends up 5 feet that's no problem. At least her husband will be taller:) I would first try to give her a tampon but make sure he knows that it will most likely be uncomfortable at first. Tween or teen tampons may or may not be the best for her depending on her flow. An adult one may work better if she has a heavier flow but who knows. Make sure you tell her that every girl gets it and it's totally normal!!!

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G.T.

answers from Rochester on

I got my 1st period when I was 9 also. I kept growing at a normal rate and am 5'5" tall. Two of my daughters also started early, at 10 years old. Both are at least 5'5" also.

The doctor told me to let my daughters try tampons when they were ready. He said to give them careful and detailed instruction on how to use them, then let them try it. As long as they did it correctly and didn't hurt when they inserted them it was okay for them to use them.

BTW I started my periods early and also started menopause early (at the age of 40). Which was great! LOL

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A.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

An issue of early menses is elevated risk of breast cancer. I hate to bring that up, but does breast cancer run in your family? Might be worth getting the genetic test for the breast cancer gene for yourself and then your daughter. Goodness forbid something comes up, she can begin to be monitored more closely as high risk even beginning in her mid-20s. I mention this as I had a friend's daughter who had her period at age 10 and early onset breast cancer runs in their family.

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M.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

My best friends parents are you and your husbands heights and she is only 4'11". How tall are the grandparents? Anything is possible but hopefully shell keep growing until she's 13. Its not the worst thing in the world anyway.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

To me it really seems you're the person best able to answer your questions, you've been through it and lived through it.

How tall were you when you started? Taller than her? Same or similar? Just because someone has started their period that doesn't mean it's carved in stone that they only grow a couple more inches. If you were short at 9 but grew over 5 feet then it's also possible for her to grow more than a couple of inches.

I would never allow or suggest a tween use a tampon. I'd simply tell them to wear undies and shorts over their leo. Tampons always caused me to have cramps. I could wear a pad for my period then if I put a tampon in I'd be doubled over with cramps within an hour. So I didn't use them often.

There is a lot of time for her to use tampons but at age 9 I wouldn't even consider it.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I think women are the height they are going to be no matter about when they start their periods. Our daughter is 5'7. That is a lot taller than when she started her period. She was in 5th grade.

The second month our daughter got her period, she told me, "ok, tell me about how to use tampons"

I had purchased some small ones. I gave her the printed instructions so she could check it all out. I then had her practice pushing the tampon with one hand. Then I stood outside of the bathroom door and gave her instructions on where to place the tampon and how to know if it was the right or wrong place..

Have you seen the TV show "Orange is the New Black"? One of the episodes reminded me of so many of so many of my college friends their freshmen year. We had to teach them about their bodies as well as where the tampon needed to be placed and how to use tampons. No one had actually explained and encouraged them to explore their bodies.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Subtract 5" from your husband's height and average that with your height. That average is 5'3". There is an 80% chance your daughter will be within 2" of this average. So between 5'1" - 5'5". I am betting she will be on the shorter end though. My daughter grew 3" once she got her period but she was 11 1/2yo.

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T.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I was 10 when I started and I am now 5'4". My mother was 10 also when she started and we are the same height so she may be your height or taller. As far as tampons you can let her try them and see if she is comfortable with them. It won't hurt to try. I have the same concern with my daughter. She is 7 and already starting to develop breast. She's average size not overweight or skinny so I am thinking her period will come around 9. I'm not a psychic just trying to prepare her and myself. I love reading these questions. They help the readers too. Good luck!

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