Very Very Scared to Let My Baby Go to School!!

Have you considered homeschooling? My first 4 went to and graduated from public school. The next 3 are homeschooled. I love it. There are some wonderful homeschool co-ops around that make it really easy to do. Much less stressful than public school.

Letting go is sometimes more difficult for us than it is for them. I was ok sending my oldest to pre-k but the first day of kindergarten I sobbed.

You sound like the perfect canidate for homeschooling. What ever your fears about public school they could be reslolved by homeschooling.

Do some research to see if it's right for your family!

I would follow your gut...don't send her to school! Are you a stay-at-home mom? If so, homeschool her. I home school my 5 year old and love every minute of it! You DO NOT HAVE to send your child to public school! There are a lot of wonderful support groups for home schooling in the area. Mine is HOTHA. Check it out! I hope this helps. It's really not as hard as it seems and Texas makes it very easy with its laws.
I hope this helps you!

Then don't send her away from you. YOur mommy heart is telling you that it is too soon! Have you thought about home schooling? I HS this year for the first time. My daughter is in K/1 and we absolutely LOVE it! She has the choice if she wants to go to "out school" but she wants to stay home with her family. WHo better to raise your child then you! If you have more questions about it just message me! Really, it is the very best choice we could have made! I would have been a mom like you and I felt like you do. HS K is so easy!!

Hey! I'm a fellow Navy wife also. My daughter just turned 4 and attends pre-school twice a week from 9am to 2pm. I was nervous and sad too when I dropped her off. I held it together for her sake, but as soon as I got in the car to drive away, I lost it. It takes a few weeks and your going to be fine. You'll see how much fun she has and the cute art project she makes, and that alone will make you feel better knowing that she likes school. She'll make new friends and tell you the silliest stories. It is good experience for her and yourself. I PROMISE you, you will be ok as will she, but it will take time. Your a great mom for having such a strong bond and relationship with your daughter. Good luck to you and ease into school. No one ever said a 4 year old needs to go everyday, all day.

I can still remember the first day my daughter went to school. Being that she was an only child, it was hard for me not for her. I was a stay at home mom and knew that it was for the best interest for her. I remember crying, my sister in law holding my hand and dropping me off at home. She just smiled and waved good bye. I survived that day at home crying see my baby grown up. Now she is 26years old and I'm very proud of her and her sister. Yes, it hard, but one thing I learned was get involved, volunteer..join PTA andthing to be at the school grounds to keep an eye on her. Just remember God will always protect them and He will always be with us moms

Girl this was my sons first year after being home with me no daycare nothing.He was also and still is a mommy's boy. I wont lie you are going to cry and she might too,you will not want to leave but you will.Take your camera of course to take a few pictures.It will seem like the first day is going by so slow and you will want to keep busy and since you will have a new addition before this you will be.Afeter a week you and she may be use to this adjustment but it could take a month I have never seen it take longer then that when I was a teacher in daycares.
She will get independent but not as much as you might want.My son pick his own clothes out now for the next day.He loves to tell us about the day and he is doing great he loves his to teachers.If you know who the teachers will be and youknow anyone who has had them before ask them about the teachers of course.

Also be ready to be called teacher sometimes in the begining.I found it to make me nuts just because he was calling them teacher instead of but name.

Also I recommend getting her use to the change durning the summer months.Get her use to the schedule,We did this ist helped alot,Also if you can take her to play on the play ground as well so she sees the fun in it too.Take a tour of the school talk with the counslor.This things helped me.

You may hate this and she may to but it will be great her going to school you will get the hours to bound with your baby and she will more then likey enjoy getting out of the house to a place that will be about her.

My daughter and I have got a lot closer then ever she is two and loves that she gets the one on one time.
Also so you still get one on one time with her when you can just you and her go out for ice cream or something so she sees you still think about he durning the day.Take turns with your hubby with the pick up as well so he still gets the one one one with both of them,Leave baby with him sometimes.My husband does this on certain schedules he is in law inforcement so we have schedule issues.He loves this because he still feels he get bounding time too.

Also the school here has a policy durning the first month no parents were able to be there to make the adjustment easier on the kiddos,this helped but now I am a room mother,I try to attend everything and be part of all I can this helps too.

My son asks me everyday if I missed him and that he missed me.

I am sorry this was long I just wanted to share what I could

Good Luck and you will make it.

I felt the same way when my son started prk. It seemed to be a little harder on me as my son is disabled and could not tell me if he was abused. So, I would keep that as a hands up that your daughter can tell you. Believe me I wanted to go get my son several time that day. Also it is good for you to get a break. You never know she might love to go to school. My son is nine now and he loves it. Hope I have helped you. Good luck!!

C.

I started my son at a mother's day out program (which we call his school) in August, when he was not quite 2 1/2. I was pretty uneasy about it too. I was expecting at the time, but for the last 2+ years it had been just me and him a lot of the time (like you, I'm a Navy wife, and my husband had been away at school a few times and deployed once during our son's lifetime). He was kind of shy around his peers; at playgroups he'd play by himself most of the time. And he was somewhat delayed in speech. So, to help with all of that and help him develop independence, we enrolled him.

Well, guess who ended up being the one with separation issues? Not him! First day of "school" I dropped him off at his classroom and he went right up to another little boy and started talking to him. I had to say his name three times before he looked around so I could say goodbye, and then he just gave a casual wave and a "Bye, Mommy." It wasn't that I wanted a screaming child clinging to my leg, but a LITTLE sense that he'd actually miss me would have been nice! But that's when I realized that I was actually the one holding on a little too tightly, and things are great. He loves school (I have a hard time convincing him to leave sometimes!), he's much more confident and independent, and his speech is greatly improved. It wasn't easy (for me, at least!) but it was so worth it. And it gave me the chance, while he was enjoying time with friends and learning, to give his new baby sister the same one-on-one time he got as a baby. All around, it's definitely been the right decision. Good luck!

i know how you feel my lil one starts school this coming august too... its scary... but if she is ready she will do great... my son cant wait for school to start... hes only 3 but will be 4 in june... hes my only one for now and i dont want him to grow up but i know i have too... hes already to independent as it is... lol but i guess thats how it goes... let me know how it goes... it will be fun shopping for all her supplys atleast...

My son is in pre-k right now and it is no big deal for me, but when he goes to kindergarten and turns 5 this summer, I am going to cry like a little baby. He is my first child and I feel like once its kindergarten, next will be high school! So don't feel silly, I think we all go through this when our little ones enter kindergarten!! Just enjoy her now at home and you will quickly see that time alone will be quite rewarding!

I was the same way, cried all the way there, walked in, and she looked at me and said, "Ok. You can leave now." Just remember that it's about her. And they love volunteers at the school, just remember to encourage her bonding with her peers!

I'm going to give you a different perspective. Who says your daughter has to leave her mother and go to school at the tender age of 4? Society, sure, but since when has society been right in everything? Society said women should wear corsets a hundred years ago, and now society doesn't seem to mind if women sport their spare tire under a too-short shirt.

Anyhow, my point is that if you aren't working (which I would imagine you wouldn't, what with the new baby), why not keep her home and teach her yourself? I can think of a number of good reasons for this.

1) She won't be picking up bad habits from the other kids.
2) She won't lose her attachment to Mommy (which most kids do after they go to school and by the time they're teens we wish they hadn't).
3) Not all independence is good. At the age of 4, children still need to submit to authority a lot more than society seems to dictate.
4) You can teach her yourself, and thus know what she is learning. You can adapt each "class" (which at this age shouldn't be very structured nor very long) to her learning style. For instance, if she's a visual learner, you can make charts; if she's an auditory learner, you can spend more time reading to her than any teacher could. If she's a hands-on learner, you can skip the charts, or let her make them to learn. No school can focus on a child like this, and it will help her learn much faster in the way that she learns best.

Those are just some of the reasons I plan on keeping my baby (now 16 mo) with me for as long as I can (I'm going to homeschool). Especially reason #1. Sure, probably no one here will agree with me, but hey, if it's giving you nightmares, maybe there's a reason. Who knows what could happen to her out there alone; with you at least you know what's happening.

Girl, i cried like a baby all the way there, and when he told me to go home, it broke my heart. What was he thinking. They are always more ready to go, then we are to let them go. Good luck!

D. mattern-muck
the mom team
raise your income and your rugrats at the same time
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"the only thing that counts is faith, expressing itself through love." galatians 5:6

I have my little son in Mothers day out, I thought it was going to be a lot harder than it actually was. To help you with it think about all the things your little one will learn, and how much she will enjoy it!

Now she will have new things to share with you every day and you will love to see her progress. I do not know you but I do realize how limited I am to teach my son things that he just seems to get naturally at his school not only with the teachers but from being with other kids his age.

In other hand think about yourself, the little time that you will have for you! To do things that normally are hard to do with your girl.

I guess that I what I mean is that if you focus on the positive things that will come from it and the more you think about them it will help you feel more at easy and maybe cope better with the anxiety you are feeling.

My best wishes in this hard change for you and your little one!

Ok. I too was scared, however, my daughter was not. The first day she road the bus to school, I went to the school myself to see that she made it ok. I hide behind a corner and watched her. She was just fine and I worried for nothing. My daughter is almost 13 now and I look back at those memories and smile. Sometimes it is hard for us to let our little ones grow up, but it is a good thing and will help them to become independent. Good luck and try not to worry.
S.

My son too will be started pre-k this next fall and this too is the first time i will have to let a child go (so to speak). I have been a SAHM since he was born and have always too been a great part of his life. I have gone back and forth on what is the best scenario for our family as in the way of schooling. There are so many negative influences as well as safety issues in schools today. I don't have any great words of wisdom other than to trust God. I can not allow myself to walk in fear about what might be... will he be picked on?... will he miss me?... will he cry?... will he have so must fun that i become 2nd rate? A great part of raising our kids is to raise them. We have to raise them, strengthen them, encourage them, and let them grow up... sometimes even at 4 years old. Trust me, i am not there yet. But i do know building confidence in him will help mold him into a confident, mature young man in the years to come. I can not walk in fear because i do not want him to walk in fear.

There are so many choices out there today, especially for young ones. There are of course public school, private school, christian academy, charter school, home-school, and even co-op programs. Do what works best for you and your family and be confident in that decision. We have chosen an academy. The program we have chosen starts off with 3 days a week from 8 to 11:30. (you can also start from 1 or 2 days.) From that 3 days a weeks you gradually can work up to 5 days. You can do this throughout the year at your own pace. I am excited about this because i believe it will help to make it a pleasant transition for both my son and myself. I know private academies aren't always affordable but if that is something you are interested in, check it out. When we checked into ours we asked about the price and shared our heart about our son and schooling and they gave us a 50% discount. You never know until you try!!

I know you got a lot of responses, but I had to laugh at the memory of me sitting in the pre-school directors' office balling my eyes out...I too was pregnant at the time. I think there is some separation anxiety thing expecially when pregnant. Your daughter will be better off for starting school before the baby is here and during the time she is gone, you will be able get some well-needed naps once your little man arrives.

When my daughter started pre school I stayed most of the day, with small intervals of stepping outside or going to the bathroom. She knew I would be right back because I told her. I suggest you do the same eather with Church or Mothers day out program or pre-school. This process will get her ready for kindergarden. The first day of kindergarden was emotional for me also, I guess it is for most Moms. I met the teacher and stayed like the first hour and told her I would be back at lunch and we would eat together. I left at 9:30 and was back at 11:30. She was used to me stepping out and returning.
She never cried or acted like she was bothered by me leaving, she knew I would always return, because I would do what I told her I would. I got her ready for "big girl school" with the pre-school. It also starts teaching them to socialize outside of their home invirement.
I also got involved with the PTA or parent group at the school which gave me an oppurtunity to see her during the day at differnt times. She seen me interacting with other teachers and Moms and I think that made her comfortable and I even started substituting there.
I have a full time job now, not at the school but I still do alot with her there. I like having lunch with her and doing other activities.
I

Generally if we are that panic-stricken, it is for a reason. We do our kids a disservice if we don't listen to that inner voice and respect it. In our society there is so much pressure to squash that voice and push our kids fast and hard out the door. Listen to your voice!

Keep her home with you, you won't delay her. If you think it is important for her to be in a school-like environment, look into classes (gymboree, kindermusik, etc) to ease into it gently (for both of you!) or look into a preschool co-op where you can go WITH her. But preschool is really unnecessary.

I second the recommendation to look into homeschooling. We homeschool my kids and I really enjoy spending time with them and having them around and they do as well. If they asked to go to school I would let them go but as long as we are happy to be around each other and learn together, that takes priority.

preschool is not a necessity. keep her home with you. and then pray pray pray that public school is the right thing for her. some kids do better with public, some with private, others with home schooling and others with a combination university model type school. i think our society has placed too much of an emphasis on getting them into school too early. she will learn a lot more from you.
good luck.

This is a very normal feeling for a first child. After the first day, you will be relieved because she will have a wonderful time. Little girls are talkers. She will come home and tell you everything that happened to her that day. Enjoy your alone time. Go excercise, run your errands then relax while she is at shcool. The day will fly by and before you know it, it will be time to pick her up.
PS. It is important that she spends time with her peers.

Hello L.. This will, no doubt, be the first of many times that you'll be anxious about letting your children out of your sight. All of us Moms experience that anxiety. What is most important is how we handle that anxiety so that our children don't feel anxious. So how can you calm your anxiety? No pills. No forcing your way through it. However we can can that anxiety by leaning on God. A favorite scripture of mine when I'm feeling scared, anxious, worried: Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, and with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. Phil. 4:5-7. Talk to God like your best friend and speak that very scripture to Him. "I'm scared God! I don't want to be separated from my little girl! Thank you God for letting my little girl have the good health to be able to go to school. Thank you God for the teachers and the educators that I will be entrusing my beautiful daughter to. Help me God to ease my anxiety and ease my heart so that my little girl will not be anxious but will be excited to go to school.".... you get the idea. Talk to God in your own words. This is a good practice for the many times you'll want to fall into anxiety regarding your children. Remember the things your a blessed and thankful for and try to let those anxious thoughts fall away to God. You'll always have the care and concern, but you don't always have to be scared and anxious. Best wishes to you and your sweet family. Blessings Galore!

K.

I agree with the homeschool suggestion. We are a homeschool family as well and we love it!! I have always given my kids a choice and they have always choosen homeschool. As far as common myths......most people can do it because it really is not hard and does not take that much extra time out of the day, it is legal in all 50 states, studies have shown that hs kids are usually BETTER socialized than their traditionally schooled counter parts and have better self esteem, they can go to college and many colleges are activily seeking hs'ers, it does not have to be expensive, and accademically they are usually above their schooled piers, and it is not just religious families doing it. This should cover some of the common myths that will pop into your mind when you hear the word homeschool. If you have any questions or want links to some great web sites that will help you research this option message me & I will be happy to help. I can also help you find local hs support groups in your area that often have free ways to meet with some of the other hs'ers in your area.

I know that you have received several responses. I have a son who is almost 5. We have talked about our options. He really wants to be homeschooled. Also, FYI, in Texas, K is not even required. You can wait until she is 6 and put her straight into 1st grade public school -- if you want. Have you asked her what she wants? My son is pretty vocal and seems to know what he wants. Talk to her and you will know what is right for your family.