Very Very Active 28 Mo Old Son Pls Share If You Are Having a Similar Situation

My son is the same age and acts the same way. I do not believe it has anything to do with his diet like some people have suggested because half the time he rather keep running around then eat anything. He acts the same way regardless of what he is eating.
It isn't ADD or anything at all except that they are normal, healthy very active intelligent boys.
I do believe routine helps so they know what to expect and telling him what we will be doing that day.
I found reading a story or telling stories, looking at flash cards etc... help me when trying to get him to eat. We used to have to use the TV and random items for him to play with like vaseline container, chap stick etc...
Even when my son was younger he was always one of the more active kids. At play dates all the other mothers could hang out together and talk while the kids played and I would have to be chasing my son around because he never stayed still and was always getting into something.
I can relate if that is any consolation! :)

part of me wonders if you are just feeding him healthier than she's feeding her kids, if he's getting better sleep, etc? It's really hard to tell at that age, and some kids do just have more energy. He's probably got a lot to do in this life, and he's just getting prepared to do it. Just a thought.

I take it, from your description of daily activities that you are a stay at home Mom and are the one that is basically structuring his activities on a daily basis.
My first thought was to look at his diet. Do you allow him to eat a lot of empty calories of sugar and artificial sweetners? I know that my 28 month old grandson is basically on a sugar free diet (not because of medical reasons but because that is what his parent's research has found to be wisest course). If he gets to eat sugar in even a slightly larger amount than he is used to his activity level shoots sky high!
I also wonder if you need to provide a little more structure to his daily schedule. There is no reason for you to allow him to move furniture around or scatter a jillion toys everywhere. Start by sorting through his toys, put them into several different large plastic storage boxes and then rotate them so that they seem new to him and he also doesn't have the huge quantity of decisions to make about what to play with.
Help direct his energy to positive ways of expending it. Take him on nature walks, collect interesting things that you find and then come home and let him make a collage with them on construction paper to present to Dad when he comes home from work. Use the fact that he wants to play with sand or water as a learning experience for him, let him have different sized containers to move the sand and water into and out of to teach him manual dexterity. Challange his little mind....help it expand and embrace the world around him. If he is left alone, to his own devices too much of the time, of course he is going to run wild...he needs guidance, structure,your support and love to turn into the young man that I am sure you want him to be.
As to the dvd player...turn it off...make it go away...it contributes SO very much to the hyperactivity and lack of concentration that we see in so many young children today!! Did you know that Sesame Street is broken down into 10 -15 second segments because they have discovered that is the typical length of a childs concentration??? Why encourage that...why not teach them to be calm and controlled....learn the joy of reading with your child...don't expect him to instantly sit down and let you read a half dozen books to him..but make it a joyous loving time and he will soon be BEGGING you to read to him!!! My 28 month old grandson now proudly "reads" his favorite books to me!!!
You are right...this stage will pass but there will be other stages...endless stages and you job is to guide him successfully from stage to stage until he no longer needs your guidance and sprouts wings and flies on his own!!
My daughter has an excellent blog that she writes about the things that she does with her son as a learning experience on a daily basis. If you would be interested you can certainly message me and I would be thrilled to share it with you!!

My son is very active and needy compared to when my daughter was his age. Every child is different. What you can do is help him with his toys. There is a place to play with them, we clean up after them and you'll need to help him with the because children aren't born knowing how to pick up after themselves. We have to teach them. If he is moving furniture, don't let him. Tell him no first, a second warning if he tries again and then put him in time out for 2 mins for not doing as you asked. Think of the time out as a cooling down period and for him to calm down. If he gets out of time out, put him back. Don't laugh or smile and any of the cute things he does in the process because then it just becomes a game to him and won't get the point across. Unplug-take the movies, tv, dvd player away at meal time. If he can't sit at the table and eat, then he doesn't eat. Same thing, 2 warnings then time out. If after a time out he still doesn't sit proper at the table, plate is taken away till he is ready to. Again, sitting at the table for a meal is a learned behavior. You have to teach him what you expect of him at meal time. And don't worry about him going hungry, children won't starve themselves.
Take a look at his diet and how that might be affecting him. Even 100% juice contains a lot of natural sugar and can send a kid bouncing off the walls. If you aren't already, dilute his juice with water half and half. No sodas/pop or tea. Only diluted juice, milk, water and some gatoraid. Cut back on processed foods too if you can and watch his candy intake. You can't give a kid a sucker and expect him to sit still 10 mins later for lunch.

Good luck!
S.

I have a 35 month old that is the same way. I have found that if I am consistent about getting on to him for moving furniture he stops. Also, give him one or two pieces that he can move. It makes them feel "big" to move things around. I gave him say in where his bed was in his room, he chose angled out from the corner. He has a stool that he is allowed to move around in the kitchen and I have him "help" cook and get his sippy cup and milk out for me.

I don't buy into the sugar = hyper theory. There have been studies done where the kids weren't given sugar but their parents thought they were and expected them to be hyper and surprise, they were hyper. Also, I have a friend who is a grade school teacher and anytime a kid came back from lunch and would say, "Sorry Mrs. X but I had cookies at lunch so I'm going to be hyper." She'd tell them that she didn't believe that sugar had that effect on them and she still expected them to sit still and learn. Amazingly enough, they did.

My sister also has 2 boys, one older and one younger than my son. Her older son has always been the type to sit still and she would comment about how maybe I fed my son too much sugar or didn't discipline enough. Then she had her youngest who isn't quite as active as my son but is MUCH more active than her first. Gotta love payback. :)

I have chosen to put away anything that I'd be really upset if it got broken and left out things that if they are broken it won't upset me but I can use to teach "this is why we don't bounce on furniture/throw toys/hold a chair upside down in the house" kind of lessons. And when we go out I have a special toy that he only gets to play with in the drs office or other waiting rooms. It's a Handy Manny folding (self contained) car garage and street. It has little parts and lots of things to do.

I get a little defensive when people try to tell me something is "wrong" with my son and he needs meds. He is a healthy,VERY intelligent, active BOY. Too many boys are treated as defective girls. Boys eat more, they are more active, their play is more physical. They are different and I wouldn't change my son for anything. I like to sit and watch as he works out how to get through some of the "child proofing" we have done. The locks on the cabinet only worked for a day before he watched while I opened one once and then figured it out.

Hang in there, eventually, he will be better at following directions and obeying. You just have to stay consistent and pick your battles. Give him some control over his life and he will be much more inclined to mind in the areas you have control over.

Hope this helps. If you have any questions or just need a mom who is going through the same thing, send me a message.

My son has been somewhat similar and has had sleeping difficulties as well. I think its all a vicious cycle. I don't think its 'normal' or good energy, I think its nervous energy. However, I would personally be loathe to label my son with all sorts of harsh sounding diagnoses like ADHD (and the harsh medications that go with them) without first of all trying a few little natural things myself.

How much sleep is your son getting each 24 hours? I read somewhere an average of 10.5 at night and 2 during the day for this age. If he's getting more, terrific, but if its less I'd personally look into that a bit more. In young kids, if they don't get enough sleep this can result in hyperactivity as they run on adrenaline the whole time, and paradoxically they actually need more sleep to be able to slow down.

I realized that my son was actually more frantic with his activity when he was more tired. I would notice that it wasn't quite so bad first thing in the morning, but got worse when he went 'past' the tired stage (past the time when he was rubbing eyes etc). We've had to work hard to help him to relax, and to relax more ourselves, as well as to be a better sleeper. I'm taking a mindfulness and meditation course which is helping me to relax more, and I've bought relaxation cd's for my son to listen to at nap time and sometimes right before bed. He can do that with whoever is with him and can relax by himself that way.

I won't go on too much about food and not letting him watch dvd's at mealtimes as others have already commented, but I think guiding him in these areas is a really important part of the process. It took some time, but we found stopping letting our son listen to audio stories at mealtimes meant that he was focusing more on his food. Encouraging him to sit still and eat rather than get up and down so much took time and patience as it didn't work straight away but has also helped. It seems he's eating more appropriate amounts as well - not too much and not too little.

I do find at times I actually need to hug my son and say 'shh', your running everywhere, come and have a nice cuddle with me and a calm down for a minute. He does love reading, so this is a good way I've found to just get some bodily contact and slow down a bit. I don't normally look after him during the week due to work though, and so its not as easy for someone else to do this with him.

I also recently went to a talk by one of the leading experts in dyslexia and in Oxford, England. His name is John Stein (you can google him). He suggests making sure that all of our young ones get enough DHA (Omega-3 fish oil). He says that it helps the brain in its formation, and can reverse or prevent severe learning disabilities. Its basically really good for any brain and can help us as well! I'm not sure if its helped or the behavioral things we've tried have made the difference as we did everything sort of all at once, but gradually over time its all really getting better and our son is finally sleeping more and longer times at once - getting up less in the night is making SUCH a difference to us all.

The main thing is to do some research, trust your instincts that things aren't quite as they should be, and try to notice anything you possibly can about what helps or what makes it worse - both in you, in his environment and in his food. It may not all be immediate, as things like this can take a long time to develop and a long time to resolve. Good luck, you are doing the right thing by reaching out for some help. You will find something that helps you in your own way eventually!

My oldest son is very much the same way! At around 18 months, I was sick of my house always looking like a tornado blew through it. So he started cleaning up. It usually took about 30-45 minutes each night. My husband or I would sit by his book/toy corner, and the other would walk with him to help him pick up the toys. That was really good for us.

We also worked with him on the "naughty chair". He knows that if he pushes it, he will have to sit there. I think the hardest part for him is just knowing that he'll have to sit still during that whole time!

Some activities that work for us well: shape sorters, playing catch with mom or dad, building with blocks (cleaning up right after), playing outside on the playground, playing outside at our house with a little boy-sized tricycle, baths (he loves those!), yogurt containers that can be stacked into each other, etc. We also made our own shaker containers that he uses when he sings songs. Oh! We also sing action songs that get some of his energy out! He also somersaults, does jumping jacks, and just jumps sometimes. It helps.

People have been telling me for a while that my son had ADD or ADHD. He does not. He is just really active! I am nervous for when he goes to school, seeing as most schools are eliminating PE and recess because kids need to study more. I am nervous. But for now, just get outside and let him run! Oh! And in the rain, let him go outside and jump in puddles. He'll have a great time, and it's worth it to see the joy on his face.

Hi, you've had lots of great responses. I just wanted to add that its ok that your son is active; however, you also need to teach him that he needs to be under control & that there are times when he can not do whatever he wants. As you said, he will be older sooner than you think & whatever habits you establish now will be even harder to break in the future. He will be going to school soon & will have to follow routines & will have to sit still for periods of time.
I think DVDs are ok occassionally, but you should also "practice" eating with out them. That way you can take him out to restaurants. I suggest getting some dollar store animals or dinosaurs that he can play with at the table & you can carry in your purse.
You can also make a game or contest out of sitting still. He could earn stickers for sitting still and quiet at the dinner table for 5 minutes. Eventually, you could build this up to 10 or 15 minutes. Start small, so he can be successful.
Utilize time outs when necessary. I have had GREAT success with the super nanny method of time outs with my 2 boys.
Good luck.

I too have a very active son (my mil, who had 3, once said, "Our kids were NEVER this active!") It is a challenge. Lots of outside, physical activity time seems to work for us. However, even though he is active, he is never allowed to forget that he is the child and we are the adults. If he gets up from a meal without permission, he is given a warning. If he does it again, the meal is taken away and there is nothing to eat until the next meal (or snack). We also use the timer a lot. If he wants my attention sometime that I can't give it to him, I set the timer for 2 or 3 minutes and tell him when it goes off I will come play with him. That helps him learn to play independently and learn to wait for what he wants. He's never tried to move the furniture, but if he did, he would be given a warning and then put in time out if he did it again. Now, my son goes to daycare 2 days a week, and he is given extremely consistent messages both here and there, which I think has contributed to his understand that this is just the way things work. They also feel that he is busy, but NOT ADHD, or anything like that. So if you are concerned about your son, I would have him evaluated. But, given what you've written, it just sounds like your son is in charge, rather than you being in charge. If you feel like you don't have all the skills you need to deal with a spirited child (and heaven knows they don't send them home with very good instructions!), then I would suggest you get some books-- your pediatrician should have some recommendations. I am not a big fan of TV, but I do find Supernanny to be a very reasonable behavior modifier-- you just have to understand that YOUR behavior is what has to be modified before his will be. Good luck-- and get that kid outside to play! (We're often outside 5-6 hours everyday... my yard looks GREAT, lol. The house, well, maybe next week...)

I don't know if kids use always being busy as a defense mechanism but they could. Your description sounds as if his play is frantic. He can't calm down and spend quiet time. Perhaps because he feels overwhelmed with feelings or other nervous sensations. I don't know why he's using this much energy but if I were you I'd try to find out. I'd talk with his pediatrician. I know about Early Childhood Education because my grandson has been involved with them since he was 2 1/2 and I highly recommend making an appointment with them.

They are mandated by law to evaluate and provide treatment to children who are likely to have difficulty in school. The evaluation and treatment is free.

Frantic activity can be caused by sensory processing disorders. My grandson has some of that. He's high energy but with treatment he is learning to slow down. He rushes at things which often resulted in his running into things and people. His rush to hug me would come close to knocking me off my feet. I suggest that you do some research in the area of developmental issues to see if your son fits in there somewhere.

What you've said that makes me raise this question is that he moves furniture, is always on the go, only time he's not moving is when he's sleeping. He can't sit and just eat. He has to have the stimulus of a DVD. And finally, that he has more energy that that of 2 boys in the same age range. 3,000% more. He doesn't have more energy. He has a whole lot more energy. This causes me to want to know more about him and his nervous system.

I know it's a shock and even depressing to consider that one's little one is having developmental difficulties. It's best to acknowledge that possibility and perhaps find that they are OK. It's imperative to find out that they do,if they do, because they will have difficulty fitting in for the rest of their lives if they do not receive treatment. And.......treatment is more effective the earlier it's started.

A related possibility is that he is running the show at home and thus is overwhelmed with anxiety. It does sound like he's allowed to do whatever he wants to do. Do you have boundaries that you are able to enforce? Or is his energy level so high that even tho you have boundaries with consequences you're not able to maintain a calm environment? Toddlers require boundaries and consequences that guide them in the direction of reasonable behavior. For some toddlers it's nearly impossible to manage them for a number of reasons that can be related to developmental issues or lack of consistency on the parent's part or a combination of the two.

I do not mean to judge. In truth your post doesn't give me enough information to know enough to make more than a suggestion. Based on my experience with toddlers, behavior issues, and developmental issues I feel compelled to suggest that you do get a medical evaluation of his behavior.

It could be ADD or he could just be active. Take him to the doctor, and ask for an evaluation. My oldest was like this - and still is to a point - very athletic and active - my second will just sit quietly and play barbies for hours - very different!

I believe the other moms have given some sound advice, but the one thing missing is the question if you've talked to the pediatrician about his activity levels to verify if it's really age appropriate or an anomaly.

Regardless, it does sound like he's ruling the roost right now, and you're at your wit's end on how to reign him in a little. The hardest part of being a parent, when you love your child so much, is actually being a parent.

At 28 months, he's learning how to push his independence and see how far he can push you. If you let him, it's going to get much worse. Has anyone told you about 3 years-old yet? MUCH worse than 2. Everything is, "Why?" and picking-up bad behavior from other kids that you have to correct.

I'd recommend figuring out what's tolerable and what's inappropriate behavior and what your consequences will be for not following the house rules.

If he's as active as you indicate in your post, I'd really recommend coming-up with a few activities/day that can really help him get his energy out of his system. Do look at his diet and see if there are high carb items you're feeding him that may be contributing to things. Your pediatrician should be able to help you understand what's an appropriate level of carbs which will turn directly into energy - they don't have to be sugar-based either. Fruits, pasta, bread, milk, all have sources of carbs that will convert to energy and may be exacerbating his already energy-prone nature.

As much as I hate Barney, there's a song about cleaning-up that kids absolutely love. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz-3Kxx3EQY

Good luck! Please just be firm and consistent with your son to continue to encourage him to be his wonderful self, but to provide him a good basis of proper behavior at all times.

However very physical, he tears down the house by moving furniture around, of course he puts his toys galore everywhere, and he basically is always on the go, always moving, the only time he's not moving is when he is asleep. He is high energy. We can't even get him to sit down and eat his food w/o his dvd player playing a movie.

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He does these things because you let him do these things. You let him tear down the house and watch movies at the dinner table. He should have a certain amount of toys to play with in a certain area, when done show him how to put them away. He does sound active!!! My daughter had to be always be doing something. I would take this little one to the park, bike riding, walking to look a bugs......things he would enjoy and get some fresh air! I would also check out his diet. He might need to be shown there are things that are appropriate and things that are not also. Small time outs and have a schedule will help you and him. Putting toys away, not moving furniture and entertaining himself are things you need to instill in your little boy. If he gets needy and cranky maybe coloring, painting, building blocks, reading to him. Have him help with the dishwasher, or sweep, I do know what your going through I have been there. But you need to teach him as he is going through his stage. Good luck!

It isn't sugar, like someone suggested! He is just an active boy. I have had TWO OF THEM! AHHHHH!!!! My neighbor's son when he was two would just hang out on their front porch (alone) and play on the floor. I marveled because my son would have been down the street and four blocks away in 5 minutes! My neighbor's comment was, "your son is more 'zippy' than mine." Damn skippy he was zippy! Both of my boys have calmed down their activy levels a little. Keep your little boy busy with changes in scenery and take trips during the day so you have a little down time in the car! DON'T get in the habit of DVD's while you eat. This will set you up for failure down the road. Insist that he sits and eats a certain number of bites before getting up and playing. Insist on time outs for bad behavior, and keep putting him back in time out when he gets out. Kids with this much energy tend to be very DETERMINED kids, so make sure you have a handle on discipline. That said, enjoy him because it does go so fast! And don't worry too much! :)

What I'm still doing with my 29 mo son is, I take walks with him to the park when I get home from work. Walking makes them tired, they are always exited to get out of the house and leave the four walls behind. Just an hour every day it will do wonders to your son. The doctor told me that hipper active children, their minds need to be stimulated all the time otherwise they’ll get board and start breaking stuff in the house. Try and get puzzle like toys for him (the ones that make a sound) and whatever you do don’t give him surgery things any think that has sugar in it. It makes them more hipper active. At night when you read to him do the actions let him do the actions with you. The secret is he fiscally needs to be tired to sleep. It’s not easy but it works, good luck

we have a 2 ear old girl and she is extemly active as well. i would say to get him in a class. we take our daughter to a toddler movement class and all sports class

Don't worry all kids are different. I'm the mother of a 2 year old, 15 yr old, and 18 yr old. My 2 yr old is much more active than my other kids, and always into something. I also teach 2.5-3 year olds and believe me children are all different. My 2 year old loves to pull food out of the pantry and refrigerator and dump toys everywhere. He also loves getting into the older kids stuff. Once a week he seems to get a mrker or pen and write my couch. Luckily it is stain resistant and always comes out. I just wanted you to know you are not alone. Does your son go to school/daycare and play with other kids?