Very Personal, Embarrassing

You just say it. We can't have sex because I'm having an outbreak. And leave at that. If he already knows then he should know what you mean.

You already got through the hard part by telling him in the first place...just tell him you are having an outbreak and be done with it.

I am not familiar with vaginal herpes but I have the other herpes, on my face...I get cold sores and I know for a fact that stress makes my cold sores WAY worse...if it is the same, you should help yourself out and just tell him, rip it off like a band-aid...just blurt it out...you will probably feel much better and if he already knows and loves you anyways you are probably stressing over nothing!

You simply say, right now is not a good time and if he asks further simply say I am experiencing and outbreak and it is "not a good time" and hopefully that can be your "cue" phrase moving forward should you remain in a longer term relationship. It is something that you must deal with in a mature manner and if you can not then you should not be having sex.

You just have to spit it out. I'm sure he'd rather you say this is the reason you can't as opposed to him thinking you just don't want him or are mad at him or something like that. If he loves you, he will understand.

Just tell him, the stress you are under will make the episode last longer....

Well, I once asked this question to a good friend of mine who has been through a lot and has more confidence than I will ever have, and also has herpes. I asked how she found the courage to discuss this with her (now) husband. Her response was, "Like it or leave it, baby!"

By "it," she meant that part of her that makes her a woman and a very proud one. Poor "it" goes through alot in this life, especially when it gets abused by jerky guys who don't appreciate it for the life-giving miracle that it is. Don't forget that your scars do not negate your beauty or your femininity, or define you for that matter. Give "it" a break, and try to be like my friend who has worked hard to come to a place of acceptance and self-love. I know it sounds strange, but sometimes sharing these intense, embarrassing moments when we are most vulnerable with our partners can actually bring us closer. If he's a wise man, he'll be very empathetic. If he freaks out momentarily, give him a little time to get over his fears and then talk about it later. Many, many people have this virus and that doesn't stop them from experiencing great love and sex.
Good luck to you!

You GOTTA just tell him.
Herpes does not just go away.

You gotta tell him.
If the tables were turned, wouldn't you want to be told?

And if he gets symptoms, he needs to see a Doc.

Good for you being so honest!
I know several women who have herpes, all the same story. One changed her diet and was able to never have another outbreak. There are foods that trigger it. Macrobiotics is GREAT at finding triggers. Big ones are sugar, fruit and cold foods.

Good luck!

How can you forget about a think like Herpes? You're having sex w/out protection; which means that you can catch something else. You both are taking risks by having unprotected sex. If people want to have sex, they need to realize that you can get pregnant or get diseases. You should also be using condoms or be ready to have more consequences.

This is not too personal. People should talk about this. It's a part of life. Don't feel badly; if he loves you, it shouldn't matter. If he's having sex w/you all this time and gets rid of you, then you needed to move on anyway. There are so many things that come up in life; this is just a blip on the radar.

OMG Tatianna...best answer I have read on Mamapedia...EVER.

L., I hope you take her advice. And I am sorry you are feeling bad about this...hope you are feeling better soon...

You just tell him you are not feeling well as you would any other girly problem you were having and if he wants details, give them.