Very Odd Party Invitation, Unsure Wether to Go or Not?

Its a parent who has had one to many parties where people say can I bring little jimmy also and oh yeah the neighbor up the street I am babysitting that day. And t hen after self inviting 3 extra people not show up at all. leaving the host to foot the bill for the food / event stuff. I love this party invite. it means there is going to be stuff going on that they don't want to stop and start a dozen times. I bet it will be a blast. and no they can't stop you from leaving lol.

It sounds like she's been played before and is just trying for some boundaries with some people who have none.
I wouldn't hold it against her.

She is actually just saying all those things you would think are common sense and good manners. It is rude to bring along extra, uninvited guests or to arrive late or leave early. If you can't commit to these simple requests then don't go!

I would not miss that party!! I bet they have something really fun planned.

Sounds to me that she has paid for some kind of entertainment that starts at 5:15 and ends at 7pm. Maybe she paid for a certain headcount or doesn't have the room to accommodate extra people, and doesn't want people getting up to leave before 7pm because it would be a distraction during the entertainment? hhhmmmm If you go update us and let us know what it was all about!

I agree with the pp that said this sounds like a Mom that's been around the party block before and knows what to expect from (potentially flaky) guests.
It's an hour and 45 minutes.
They expect promptness--probably due to well planned activities.
They don't want an overcrowded house.
What's the big deal?

Sounds like they are sick and tired of everyone making up their own rules for parties they go to. Kind of an odd way to put it but I get where they are coming from.

So far as the time goes I am pretty sure kidnapping is still against the law.

That's the one I would not miss.

Its kind of sad when someone has to write directions for attending a party on the invitation but unfortunately a lot of people don't seem to know how to be a good guest. I can't tell you how many times someone came by to drop off a child up to a hour before the party started because 'she won't be any trouble' parent speak for 'I've got something else I want/have to do so you get to babysit my child for free'. Or sent a child in with 2 siblings or friends while you sit in the car and then pull out before they've even rung the bell (so that you don't have to speak to me and hear the words NO). Or the ever popular 1 child comes with both parents and a set of grandparents and they all stay. Of course the parents and grandparents won't be participating in the games so they'll just park themselves by the food and polish off most of it while complaining loudly about the lack of booze.

and fyi the booze? Stashed because after dealing with rude party guest and their parents I needed it.

I see nothing wrong with the invite, she is just being specific about what she wants. I am sure the no leaving early has to do with some game they will be playing that would be spoiled if a bunch of people showed up late or left early.

I take it that space is limited, the head count is important and things will start on time. It may be a matter of leaving early will ruin a game partnership with another guest. I take it that they have planned things well and do not want to spoil the surprise.

I would probably want to go, unless your child is not comfortable with a 1.45 hour event. Which is okay, just send a message and say you will not make it.

Oh I'd definitely go. Please let us know your impressions, I would be SO curious! It sounds like it could actually be really fun, instead of total chaos, like many parties end up being. You will probably get a hoot out of "overly-structured" mom. Keep an open mind.

T.,

The family may be having a haunted house so the space may be limited or they may be having a show of some sort. Who knows?! Why not call them and ask why so "strict"??

The leaving early might be a sales pitch. I don't know. I would call and ask.

If you don't feel comfortable going, don't go. Your daughter does NOT need to attend every party she's invited to.

No, she can't stop you from leaving but she wants you to stay and enjoy up to the last minute. I imagine there's some surprise at the end.

I applaud this parent for being specific as to how many guests will be allowed to stay. One of my friends took both her kids to every party they were ever invited to. She figured that one more kids was not a big deal. These were nice parties at pay by the child places. I told her she could leave one child with me so she could go but she said no, that if it was good enough for one child to go to then it was good enough for both. I told her that made NO sense what so ever.

I think I'd go, I imagine this party will be the one that gets talked about all year.

Perhaps the invite is supposed to be in the spirit of Halloween by scaring you with rigid rules. Just try and see what happens if you arrive late AND leave early. Mwahahaha!

I would use wording like that to weed out the party hoppers. You know, people who say yes to more than one party on one night and then don't spend much time at any of them instead of committing to just one in the first place.
I especially like the part about no extra siblings.

Invites like this are not ill-mannered or even odd. But people have become so accustomed to flouting basic party manners that they see an invite like this as too harsh. Those are the people you do not want coming to your party. Don't like the rules? Don't go.

I applaud this mother. Good for her! Go to the party!

I don't find the invite that out there,

but I don't feel a structured party is appropriate for a 4 year old.

especially it being a Halloween party, I wouldn't like not knowing what they had planned. if my kid got scared (he didn't like the crocodile in peter pan at 4 year old) I would want to feel like I could leave.

Pick one or Maybe 2 parties given by people you Actually KNOW well, and leave it at that. there are enough fun family things to do this time of year you don't need this sort of stuff for a 4 yo.

if you insist on going call the hostess first and find out what is up.

I think that they just don't want people wandering in and out and perhaps ruining some of what they have planned. They can't really stop you from leaving, that would be a crime, but they have asked that you plan to be there for that period of time and, IMHO, if you are going, you should honor that request. I think I would want to go to see what all the fuss is about.

Sounds like they have something planned, like an entertainer of some sort, and to participate, you need to be there on time and stay for the duration.

They probably spent a lot of money on this and although they could have said it in a less harsh way, I understand where they are coming from.

Just go and have fun. It's a kid's party - let your kid enjoy!

Sounds like they used some advice given here before. They know what they want, they don't want confusion, and they want you to stay for the length of the party. If you are not comfortable with it, send the invite my way...I am curious as to what fun is going to happen!

I don't blame them. People have no sense of what being a guest means anymore. Time is fluid, who's invited is fluid, everything is fluid. Is it odd? Yes, but when people are such bad guests, I honesty find this approach to be, well, refreshing. The leaving part is odd, but when people say, oh we have to leave early, then you feel compelled to make sure you have cake done by then, etc. It's hard to be a good host when your guests just do whatever they want, ya know?

I have seen some of these. Often it is because of the size of the location and the entertainment. If they invited the whole class of 22 kids they can not handle double or triple if siblings show. Also some beach houses (or houses in our area) are too small to have both parents and kids.

p.s. I would feel like a freak and never host a party like this, but they are fun. Now I want to know what the theme or the entertain is. I am thinking a magician...not sure why that popped in my head.

Actually sounds nice. There are people who are habitually late, she wants 10 kids which is likely all the supplies she has. Those who are planning on leaving early, will miss out. Sounds pretty good to me.

It doesn't read that you MAY NOT leave before 7. Just don't PLAN to leave before 7. They've, obviously, got some pretty specific stuff planned and want to make sure that you are there for it. They don't want a bunch of extra people in the way, detracting from the experience.

People are always trying to figure out the clearest way to say what they mean, especially on invitations. These people seem to have figured it out.

Go, and expect to have fun.

Well, part is clearly that the mom has had to deal with rude people in the past. You would not believe how many people think it is just fine to bring along extra kids when only one of their children is actually invited.

I assume the structured part refers both to materials provided for a specific number of children, as well as planned activities to start and end at certain times.

It isn't really that different than being invited to a movie theater birthday party. If the movie starts at 4 and doesn't end until 5:30, then of course you don't go if you can't commit to staying until 5:30. Typically in that scenario, one does not have to be told that leaving mid-movie is disruptive behavior.

Totally intrigued!! I would so be going to that party!!

It does seem a little odd, but I will say that I understand. It's SO annoying when you plan a great party and people don't RSVP, show up really late, bring unexpected guests, or stay 15 minutes and leave when you planned food, drinks, activities, etc. It's sad that we'd have to put such a disclaimer on an invitiation, but people are downright RUDE and need clear boundaries.

If your daughter is friends with the child, and wants to go, take her. Arrive at the correct time and enjoy.

This is a good one. While the wording comes off as stern, I think I get what this mom is trying to communicate. However, you can't and shouldn't think you can instruct someone on when to leave and when not to. That put things over the edge for me. Now she could have some mind-blowing activity planned leading up to 7:00, but the wording is off putting. Is this a kids party or jury duty!!!!!

I wouldn't go. That's obnoxious.

I wouldn't miss that one for the world!

Wow. I would find it odd as well. In a time that people do not remember the etiquette of only bringing the guest listed in the envelope, I still would never lose my own manners and write it. Perhaps it is the way she worded it that seems a bit unpolshed. There are other ways to be more elegant imo. But if I liked them and wanted to go,it would not stop me from enjoying a party that would be solely for the childs friends :)

Wouldn't go. She is right, that is very odd and a bit OCD! Can you imagine the bossiness that will be abound when the kids are there?

T.,
Why did you write for opinions when you
already made up your mind?
Just wondering.
D.

It's worded a bit oddly, but my guess is that they have activities set up that if everyone doesn't play, it messes things up for the others.

A little over the top however siblings can end up coming, both sets of parents, etc. The person throwing the party may only have so much space or avaiable resources so that is why they maybe upfront.

I am betting they have something like a haunted house or game/excursion planned that will start promptly at 515 and will not end before 7pm. But it is strange the way it was worded. Requesting only one parent would be space related but still strange. Now I want to go! LOL