Verbal Skills in 3.5 Yr Old

I did not speak until I was five nor did my father and at least one of his siblings and many others in his family and we all grew up to be very successful and intelligent. My grandma called it the lazy Irish tongue, in her own endearing caustic way. If it helps, I've heard that Albert Einstein did not speak until he was 5 either. :-) My mom was an educator and took me to be tested over and over and finally they said I had a "processing" problem (probably to give SOME type of diagnosis) and I went through a couple years of speech therapy in k-garden and 1st grade. You could have her tested, but I would not worry about it too much, we all made up for it once we started talking.

Hi Lindsey,
Don't worry about it.
Ususally kids have catched up by the age of 5. If Bridgette hasn't catched up by then then I would be worried.
My daughter Raven - now 4,5 didn't really speak properly until last fall.
My advice to you is to talk slowly, appropriate terms; instead of saying put it there, you say, put the red box in the blue basket for example. The more words you give her, the more her brain has to work to store it in the right place, so when SHE is ready to talk she will have all these wonderful words to use.
L.

Hi,
My boyfriend and I had the same problum except for my daughter was a little younger at the time. I have a 11yr old a 9yr,2yr old and a 4 month old. My 2 yr old wasn't talking and the only way for her to do what we told her to do was if we mad her look at us. Well come to find out she couldn't hear us. They wanted to put her in speech therepy but she excelled in motor skills and the little of speech she had, so they refered us to an E.N.T. They had said she needed tubs put in her ears and after the tubs it has been so great. She has picked up on the words and on trying to put them into a sentance but it's still been a challange. I wish you the best of luck and if it's not her hearing, PLEASE don't give up. When she's ready you wont be able to stop her. Oh yeah and when it comes to the doctors, ask ALOT of questions don't take "I don't know" for an answer and listen to your heart. Best of luck. E.

L.,
i would have your child actually evaluated by an independent speech therapist. You may have to pay for this out-of-pocket, but what it will save you down the road will be invaluable. Independent speech therapists have no ulterior motive when it comes to your child's evaluation, and a lot of school districts are still lacking in support for these issues. Good luck.

L., I was going to say the same as Michele. My daughter is 3.5 and my son is 16 months. Both of them talk normally, but their dictation is the problem. They have to be taught to annunciate words properly. The school can help you, but it depends on what you do at home with her that makes the most difference. I think it's awesome that you are homeschooling. I want to do that, but I feel I don't have what it takes to do it, but in reality we homeschool our children every moment of the day when we read to them and talk to them and helping them to grow and be who they want to be. Continue working with your children and they will catch up. The school can help to maybe speed things up a bit, but your patience with her will ultimately help her in the end. Hope this helps.

Baby bumblebee DVD's are very helpful. www.babybumblebee.com. They have helped many kids with Autism, including my son, and my daughter who has a speech delay. My son who has Autism/Lyme Disease is now talking in sentences. The county is a huge support. Try to access any programs they have. Always push for more services rather than less. Speech therapy is always a good option. But is very expensive. But by all means if you have the money, go for it. Reading to kids everyday is also very helpful, and then asking questions about the pictures and have them respond.

You sound like a very busy mom, one who is doing her level best.
I agree with the person who said, don't let Bridgette be labeled if you can avoid it. Lots of kids don't talk much until they are 3-4 (just like some resist toileting until almost kindergarten, driving their parent to despair! I had one of those!)
Get the best assessments you can, talk to her and the other little girls as much as you can, read to them, and don't let her get things by pointing or gesturing once you're sure her hearing is okay.
One thing a friend of mine used to get her son talking was song tapes (yeah, I'm older, my grandkids are 11-18!) but some children will sing even if they aren't ready to talk.
One of my cousins talked little and incomprehensibly until he was nearly 5. Guess what? He grew up to be a sportscaster and a professor of communications! All will be well!

Hi Lindsey,
To help develop a childs speech, they need to sometimes strengthen their oral muscles. Try having her do activities such as sucking yogurt, applesauce, milkshakes through a straw. Use a straw to blow cotton balls across the table and create a game out of it. Blowing bubbles.
Remember always to use caution of choking.
Hope this helps,
G.

Hey L., It's ok , she is only 3 yrs old . At this age the learning spanned is short . Continue to read to the both of them (story time). You are doing a great job . Her voculabary need to be build up. Continue to encourage her . For your daughter hmwk get creative,.ex : use fruit , clothes ,dolls ,teddy bear and games. It will take longer sometime ,but remember to be creative.

Hi L.. Wow, 300 words that is great, I think. My son was 3 in November. He doesn't have near that much, maybe 100 if we are lucky. I went through our doctor and got a referral for a hearing test. Once we did the hearing test, then they put a request in for speech therapy. We started that, but I also got in touch with the local schools like yourself. They have been awesome. I just enrolled him in Head Start b/c he now has an IEP, and they are mandated my law if a student with an IEP wants to go they have to take them in a school that is open. Just keep pushing the issue with the doctors if you are worried. Maybe look into a preschool and not just you at home do the schooling. Socializing with other children may help her form more sentances.

HI L.,

I have 3 sons, one in 3rd grade, one in 1st grade and have a 3 1/2 year old son named Luke. I homeschooled all of them before they went to Kindergarten and I don't regret one bit not sending them to a preschool. (Currently, my 3rd and 1st graders go to Pennington School and I love it there!) Anyway, my 3 1/2 old son was a late talker as well. My parents, friends, all expressed concern about his talking skills and wanted him tested but my husband and I wanted to wait. We did all the research we did and Luke "passed" all the skills he needed by that age (he hardly talked when he was 2 years old) but he understood everything we say, followed instructions, etc. Now he will be 4 in March and has shown a HUGE difference...the answer was simple, he wasn't ready to talk at 2, he is talking a storm now. Another huge difference was reading books. We read to our kids all the time and its amazing how much they learn and bond from reading. A comment that a Mom said that a lot comes from what we do at home, and its true. It was being at home, my 2 older boys grew loved and confident and when Kindergarten came, they were ready to go to school. They also did all the talking for Luke when he was smaller but now stepping up and voicing his concerns very well. Hope that helps! ~S.

After the testing is done, you should have a better idea of what the problem is, and that will help you figure out what you need to do to help her. You have gotten a lot of really great suggestions that cover the whole range of possible problems. Until you know if it is hearing, or processing, or speech- don't make yourself crazy. Keep reading to her and encouraging conversation with her. Good for you for getting her tested, you would be surprised at how many parents don't want to even do that for whatever reason. And don't be afraid of getting her into whatever treatment they suggest. Sure, she is young and chances are she will outgrow it, but kids respond really well to early intervention, it is easier when they are younger. My kids were both put into the school system early for speech, ot and pt. (they are both on the Autism spectrum, which usually means big problems in the speech department), and have made much more improvment over the other kids with Autism that didn't get the early intervention.

As a former special ed teacher, I suspect you are doing what you can and shouldn't worry further at this point. Talk to her all you can, play word games, and try to give her time. Perhaps she can be encouraged to make up stories or finish ones that you start. Let her draw a picture and then you write down her story about it under the picture. She can then show Dad and others and tell them what she's done.
There is a wide variation in when children develop language skills. The testing will show if there is anything major going on, and if not, just watch the development. Many parents worry about things which disappear with time, especially those of us who stay home with their children.

Hi L.,

Does your daughter listen to music or stories at bedtime? This was one of the ways I helped my kids verbal abilities along. I played stories on CD or made-for-kids music and they picked up words and phrases sometimes overnight.
Good luck!

I had gotten custody of my nephew when he was 3 1/2. He was still not talking except for a few words which he'd say through his teeth. Most of the time he would kind of hum when he communicated. He would also act out by biting or hitting. Now this behavoir was after going to speech therapy and play therapy for six months. The therapist told me that she felt there was something mentally wrong with him and I disagreed. I had him talking within the first week he was with me. First of all, make sure your daughter's hearing is fine that's very important. Next, do not let anyone label your child because once they do she'll get treated as a victim. What I mean is once someone says there's something wrong with her then she won't get pushed to try. There's a good chance your daughter has low confidence, afraid of standing out. Whenever she wants something, tell her how to ask for it using 2-3 words first "Drink please." If she doesn't want to say it then you say it with excitement (your expression should match how you sound). Get her excited about talking, make it fun. Also, make sure you pronounce each word clearly, usually a child can only pick up on the beginning sounds. Now, if she's already saying the 2-3 word sentences then just began adding those connecting words like "the", "May I", "a", etc. "May I have a drink please." You may have to teach her in parts like "May I" then "have a" then "drink please." Then you would repeat it again faster. If she still refuses to repeat it then say, "ok then you can't have it." Do not give in because if she really wants it she'll say it. Make sure you do pay attention to her expressions as she speaks. Does she look at you with confusion (unable to hear), irritation (laziness), or as if she's afraid (shy). To get my nephew to speak I had to say everything with excitement just to get him to open his mouth. I could tell by the expressions he made that he had no confidence. Also, I found teaching while they interact with others is better than just one-on-one teaching. For instance, if you see her wanting a toy that another child has step in and tell her how to ask for it or maybe someone's being mean teach her how to respond. Not only will that teach her verbal skills, but build her confidence level.

Hi L.,

I have two boys ages 6 and 2.5. My 6 year old has had speech therapy since he was 2.5 and my 2.5 year old started speech therapy at 1.5 and got exited out of the program because of the progress he made. Some of the things I have learned to do with my boys to improve their speech is making sure that they ask for what they want instead of pointing or making noises. Also when we are setting down playing with toys I get my youngest to tell me what we are playing with and what we are doing with those items as this gets him talking too. Both of my boys speech therapists used sign language with them to at least get them started in expressing what they want. Just keep talking to your girls and reading books will also help them. My six year old has come so far in his speech that he will probably not needed anymore after this school year. It is good that you are having her tested with the local school district and can never hurt to have that extra help from a professional. I hope this helps.

K.

L.,

Some time when an older sibling knows how to talk the older sibling will do all the talking for the younger one. This can be hard for everyone involved. I would just explain to the older one that your younger daughter was learning to talk and we need to help her do that. And to do that the older one could not be doing all the talking. But instead can tell the younger child what to say to mommy or daddy.

I think that as a mother especially at that age it made a huge difference for me to constantly be referring and explaining to both siblings what was going on with a situation. I would explain who was trying to help who and what the proper responses where. If there was a problem I would explain everything I new and ask questions all the while explaining to each one the situation and verifying with each child to make sure I was understanding them correctly.

I also insisted on my girls saying please and thank you and even when I knew what they wanted I would still insist that they used their words to tell me what they wanted. This was not always easy for me as sometimes I could not let them have what I knew they wanted because they refused to use their words and express it. I also found that sometimes while we where in the car or while I was preparing dinner I would not talk to my girls because I would think they where to young to understand anything. Soon I realized that it was silly to do that and so I started talking to them about everything I was doing. I would explain where we where going and why or what I was making and how excited I was about something or how much we loved daddy or ask them questions about what they liked or what they wanted to do. I found that we had a great time talking and laughing together. And surprising enough that both my little ones started talking early and are very vocal for they age while other children where only saying two or three words mine where speaking in complete sentences.

K.

The people who do the assessment will be able to offer you personalized guidance, which can't (ususally) be beat. But in the meantime, if you want you child to catch up, make sure you don't use a lot of "baby talk" in the house. When she says something, repeat it in a full, easy sentance and get her to repeat it. This will really help her get used to speaking correctly.

The refusing to speak is often a seperate problem. If she is being shy about speaking, one suggestion is to stop what you are doing and repeat your request only after sitting or otherwise getting closer to her physical level.

L.,

You've gotten a lot of great suggestions. I would suggest also looking into having your daughter's language assessed at a local university that offers speech/language services. I'm assuming you are somewhere around the Baltimore area - Loyola College and Towson University both have speech programs and clinics that you might use.

In the meantime, make sure you model short sentences for her and require her to use them when talking to you. For instance, if she wants juice and just points, you would respond, "Want juice? Bridgette, want juice?" She nods. You say, "Ok. Say 'want juice!' 'Want juice!'"

If she doesn't say it, then the first time you say it for her. Next time she asks for juice, make her respond verbally in some way, but all the time you are repeating the sentence you want her to learn. Each time you increase what you want her to give you back until she's giving you the whole sentence.

Praise her like crazy for using her words, and keep repeating the sentences. So when she finally says "Want juice" then you say, "Yes, you WANT JUICE! I like the way you are using your words! Want Juice! Here it is." and so on.

It takes a lot of patience, but it's great that you're working on it. Good luck!