Vasectomy or Not...

You could wait, and get the Mirena IUD instead. It lasts 5 years and you don't have to worry about taking any pills or shots! But if within the 5 years you both decide you do want another baby, no problem, just have it removed! :)

I think you should wait. You both need to be sure it's the right thing for your relationship. Take hubby with you to your next GNY appointment so you can discuss the different types of birth control options that work for both of you.

I have been totally set on having two kids forever. I think it is not socially responsible to have more than two because there is only so much room on this planet (not that I think everyone has to agree with me, but it is personally important to me). I also don't want to strain our personal resources, time and money. I know we will never be rich. I want to be able to let my kids play sports or do other activities (and have time for me to go watch) if they want to, and take school trips and have us be able to help them with college and weddings etc. These are the things that are important to me. I also have a horrible time being pregnant. That being said, I cried when my husband was going to call to make the appointment. Even feeling as strongly as I do about only having two kids I still need time to grieve. Every day with my son is the last day I will ever have a baby this small. It is hard, but I feel good about my decision. Also, there was a woman before that said her only option was IVF. What about adopting? That is what gives me comfort. There are many, many kids that need a good home. I don't need to physically create a child to be a mom, if I really want a third and think we can afford it I can adopt and still be true to my values. Good luck, don't be so hard on yourself and make sure you are talking to your husband.

If you want more children and he doesn't it doesn't seem right to have to concede to what he wants by making it permanent right now. If there are other birth control options for you I think it would be better to wait. Even if you don't have any more children making a permanent decision right now could create a real problem in your relationship seeing as you feel so strongly about having more children.
Your babies are still so little - perhaps it's just too soon. For me having babies was hard (mine are 5 and 2 and I just had my tubes done - but I'm also 40 and happy with my 2) and honestly another one can just seem overwhelming when the littlest is only a year old still......I've heard good things about the Mirena IUD - I'd try to sell your husband on some other birth control method for a while.

I don't know how old you are, but regardless, I'd hold off. I am 35 years old and had a tubal ligation done when my second was born two years ago. I now can't believe I did that... I was so young, and my husband and I want another baby, so we have no option but to look at IVF (reversal surgery isn't very successful and I'm not getting any younger!!). I wish I could turn back time and know what I know now! Things do change and when your youngest approaches age 2, you will see what I mean. You can wait a couple more years before deciding, and if you don't have any baby pangs or emotions about it, your husband can always make the appointment and get it done for sure. I hope this helps!

we had two and thought we were done.
10 years later we wanted another one, no I'm 43 and my husband is going for the same thing.
I would wait at least 2 more years,your children are still so young and this age can be very overwhelming for parents...............
Good luck.......

My husband and I decided after our third child that we were done having children so he had a vasectomy. I have come to the conclusion for myself and some of my other mom friends that it doesnt matter how many children you may have, the transition from having an option to no option for more children is hard. I suggest you may want to wait another year to make sure this is what you and your husband want to do. My husband changed his mind after our second child and wanted a third child after a little pursuading from me! I know in my heart it is sad that I wont have anymore babies but when reality sets in I know that our decision was the right decision, after waiting until our third child was age 2. Good luck!

My husband was also "done having kids" after our second was born. We did not discuss "how many" until after my second and we were not in agreement. I wasn't sure I wanted another but was not willing to go that far (Vasectomy) to make sure we didn't. He was. He made the appointment at the clinic. I cried and we has a very serious conversation., He canceled his appointment. We used condoms for protection for years. The pill and other hormonal options made me crazy so after trying them all, this is what we chose. Just when I decided I was in agreement with him on being "done", we chose to chance it one night without a condom. I got pregnant. I was so scared of his reaction that I didn't tell him or anyone for some time. It turns out that just as I was changing my mind to be "done" he was having thoughts about more. He was very happy. Our third son has been such a blessing. I can't imagine life without him. Please give yourself time to really decide before choosing to go ahead with the Vasectomy. You never know what turn life takes and how you both may feel years down the road.

I agree with the other posters. Wait and see, at least a few years. My husband and I have been having the same discussion, but we have 3 and I'm not willing to do anything permanent... what if I decide I want 4? My 3 are ages 4, 3 and 1, and I just don't feel done yet... but am for sure not ready to have a baby right now. What if we win the lottery then for SURE I'll want more (LOL).

Anyway - if you are unsure, I'd talk to your OBGYN about the IUD options out there. They are good for a few years, and you won't have to take a pill every day.

Good luck.
jessica

If he got so emotional about it, I would suggest waiting a couple years. Your children are so young. (I also have a 3 and 1 year old) Both of you just might not be ready for another right now. You could get a IUD, that would give you time to make sure. I agree that once you do something permanent it is going to be hard even if you know you are done.
Good luck!

Making the decision not to have any more children is a tramatic experience wether it is you or your husband making the life changing decision of physically not having anymore children. Could you on the pill for a little while longer to see if you could compromise on one more and then call it quits? If not you will have to make sure that this doesn't effect more than just not having anymore children, could this effect your marriage, resentment at not being able to fulfill your dreams. I think you both had better step back and take a good look and see what is going to happen to you.

Now this isn't quite your situation, but I have a friend whose hubby has a V after having 2 kids in his first marriage. She knew, she didn't think she wanted kids... 10 years into their marriage she REALLY wanted a baby. He went through the reversal - without success and the opted for IVF and have a beautiful baby now - after spending a lot of money for the medical procedures (not covered by insurance!).

I think if you are not sure wait! Get a long term birth control solution like a IUD or Implants and reevaluate in 5 years.

I would suggest that you wait. Your family is very young and you never know what the future holds. When I was pregnant with my triplets, I asked to have my tubes tied at the delivery of the triplets. My doctor refused. He told me that preemies don't always make it and I might regret that decision if anything happened. Thankfully, nothing did, and my hubby had a vas a few years later. But I'm glad we kept our options open just in case. Give it a few years, you can always get things taken care of then.

good luck!

www.thosecrazybeans.blogspot.com

If you're crying over the decision, hold off. Use another form of birth control until YOU are sure this is what YOU want. My concern would be that you could wind up resenting his taking this step, and resent him as well.
My husband and I agreed on having two children, but when our second was born, I was not ready for him to have a vasectomy. There are so many "what if's?", and bad things can happen. He waited until our daughter was 2, and I was comfortable with it, before he had a vasectomy.
Even though we were in agreement on having two, I would have been upset with him if he had had one right after our daughter was born because he would have been ignoring how I felt about it.
Good luck.