Vacations

my husband used to leave out of town to work, and every time he left that same night my boys would have a fever ( then ages 3 & 8)so when i would drive up to see him they would come and i would ask him over the phone should i bring them and his reply would be either way what ever was fine.. I would take them, and he always would say " thank you for bringing them"...
ABOUT ME:
32 years old,stay at home mom.. mother of 4 awesome, and wonderful kids now 14 boy,9 boy,22month girl,7&a half mon.boy

Hi K....Since it is a short vacation I would go by myself to see my husband. The kids will see him in a few short months and he may need to spend some one on one time with his wife. Leaving it to you...he may just not want to say he needs you alone. Also, maybe mom needs a break.
Blessings!

hi there :) I would do half and half.. its great to have the kids but he probably needs some special time too. If he says it up too you, I would take that to mean that yes he loves his babies but he needs some tlc - however he isn't going to say don't bring the kids because he would feel bad.. so letting him see his little ones AND then giving him two days of just you, would probably make his world :)

Take Grandma with you! Get her another room with the kids. Everyone including Grandma gets a well deserved vacation plus you get time with your husband by yourself. The kids need their daddy too. Trust me it works, I've done it!

I just wanted to add to these responses....thank you and your husband for his service! I pray every day that our men and women will be safe and I so appreciate the sacrifice you are all making for us....God Bless you both!!!!
T. L.

Hey K.,

I would take the kids. As a TRUE single mother, I can vouch for the importance of the kids being influenced by thier father as much as possible. I understand that you two want to spend some alone time, but also, know those kids miss him as much as you do. In my opinion (and this is just my opinion) but I think it is selfish to act as though it is more important for you to spend time with him them your family to be together.

Hi K.,

I'd be just as torn as you, wanting my kids to see their daddy and yet feeling a bit selfish and wanting him to myself, too.

If Grandma is available to watch them all day, why not take Grandma with you? She could stay with the kids a few times during the day or after they go down at night and you and hubby could have some alone time, too! Send them to the park for an hour or so if you're comfortable with that and you might even have time for snuggles. ;-)

Hope all works out. Hang in there being a "single" mom while your hubby is off serving his country. My husband travels a lot, too, so I know what a hard job it is to keep it all going. Best to you!

L.

PS ... I just read your update. I'm so sorry to hear about your father-in-law's diagnosis. I'll be praying for your family. *hugs*

K.,

I too am a wife to an active military husband. My husband is gone for the next 6 months and then will be deploying to Iraq, so I kind of know what you are going through. I have a 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son, and I would never think of not taking them with me to see their father. They miss him so much, so we take every opportunity we can to go. Sometimes it is a hassle taking them with me, but the one time that I left them with Grandmas, it took me months to get them so that they were not so clingy with me. In my opinion, it is just too much for them to have Daddy gone and then for Mommy to go and leave them too. You know your children best, but should something happen where you husband would be gone longer than expected or if he gets stationed in a place where you can't go to see him, I think you will be happy for the time together as a family and for the memories. Good luck! BTW......we are getting to go and see our daddy this Friday!!! Yeah!!

Maybe go for a four day with the kids and bring them to Grandma's for the last few if you all want to spend time alone. I've never left my son either.
And, My husband just got back last month after being gone this time for ten months.... if you need anything, let me know.
E.

Is there anyway to take Grandma w/ you? I can totally understand your dilemma. I would want to have alone time w/ my husband but I wouldn't want to deprive my kids. If you can't take her w/ you I would go by yourself. You and your husband need that time together just as much.

I think you need to get away by yourself and see your husband. The kids will have an opportunity in the summer to see him. You need the time alone for both of ya'll to keep your marriage strong. My husband is in the Army Reserves and was activated 2 yrs ago and went to Germany for 1 yr. I went to see him for 1 week without my kids. It was wonderful!!! It strengthens the bonds between the both of you. You need that when you are a "single" parent raising the kids. Yes, my kids were jealous, but they got over it.
GO WITHOUT THE KIDS.

I'm writing back on about what happened. I'm glad your girls are getting to go because thats along time to have to wait. Your oldest is already having a hard time. The FIL thing, ga what a tough time. I would have said before that was found out to take your girls and let them see him as much as possible. I have a nephew who just got back from Iraq and fixing to leave to Afghanistan. I have a co worker who is 25 and her boyfriend is training and will be deployed too. Its tough on her kids even though its not their father. So I feel for you its a really hard time for you guys.

I would suggest you take this trip alone. I am a grandmother of 3 and have found that at this young age; children are very forgiving and will remember very little of this time in their life. I had to leave my baby for knee surgery when he was 1 yr old ( for the first time since he was born). I cried. My son ( now 27 yrs old ) doesn't remember any of that. This is a great time for you and your husband to be alone together and bond your relationship. Your time alone as a couple is very important and with 2 babies, it will be hard to manage;even when he returns in 18 months. Spend this special time alone with him; when he returns in the summer; you will all be together. Ashlyn might cry at first; but will love you even more when you return. Promise her a special visit to the zoo or her favorite place when you return. It's important to keep that promise when you return. This will be a special time for Grandma to share with your girls also. Good Luck! Let us know how your trip goes when you return.

That's a tough one! If he was only going to be gone another month or so I'd say just go by yourself, but if it means the girls won't see their Dad until summer, I'd take them! It's too bad your husband can't come to where you live so the kids could stay with Grandma for some of the time, but could still see their Daddy! You're definitely going to want to see those kids reunited with their Daddy! When my husband came home from Iraq for R&R for 2 weeks, the highlight was just about my Ashlyn seeing her Daddy. I think you want to take them don't you? So don't let everyone else talk you into going alone, or you'll just be sad that they're not with you the whole time.

I know how hard it is to leave babies behind but having been thru some of that and gleaning from a scripture based parenting class - my husband and i have learned that it is even more crucial for moms and dads to spend some time alone with each other in order to give our children that foundation of stability they so desperately need. our husbands especially need that from their wives when having to work out of town for long periods of time. it would be the best thing for your marriage/relationship with your husband and in the end the best for your children.

I understand how those who have told you to go see your husband without your children feel; however, your children miss him more than you do, because he's their daddy. I say, take them with you, and find something to do with just the two of you while you're there, because I GUARANTEE you, that if you go alone, you will feel guilty the MINUTE you return and see your children...especially since it will be another year and a half after he leaves. Thanks!

K.,
that is a hard decision but, if you have someone like your mother or mother-in law to go with you. Your girls can visit with their dad and then you spend quality time w/him. Because it is only fair for them to see their dad especially if he is on active duty & will be gone for 18 month.
Remember whatever decision you make will be the one the lord wanted it to be.
"he leads me in right paths." _psalm 23:3

S. c.

I'd take the kids. If you leave them and feel guilty and think about them the whole trip then it really defeats the whole purpose of a week alone with your husband. And the girls seeing their father is always a good thing. If your dh doesn't care then you shouldn't feel bad about taking them either. Everyone is happy.

Hmm, that is a tough one, but my gut says that if it were me, I would take the kiddoes with. They need to be able to see him as much as possible, esp. since he'll be gone for 18 months in not too long.

Honestly, you deserve a vacation with your husband. It is a very difficult decision, but I think it would be good for you and your girls!! However, you need to be able to do it guilt-free knowing that your relationship with your husband deserves it and your girls will be just fine... they will be even better when a refreshed mom returns home. Good Luck! Whatever you decide, follow your heart.

I would ABSOLUTELY take the children. Without question. The children need to see him and connect with him even more than you do. Children have such short memories, especially at 4 and 1. They need to reconnect with him to rekindle those memories and that feeling of being with him. You, on the other hand, have your wonderful memories to hold you over until the two of you can have some alone time.

Definitely take your kids!!! What you think is best for your children and your family is more important than what ANYONE else thinks you should do.

I would take your kids! I am sure that they really would enjoy seeing their daddy. Have a great trip!

I would take them. My hubby is a Marine and we know about time apart. The babies miss daddy so much and I think any moment all can be together is priceless. 18 months is a very very long time as I am sure you are finding out. I will pray for your family. On a side note, I practiced yoga at night before bed when my hubby was away, as it settled me at night before I had to sleep alone. It gave me the strength I needed for the next day to get it all done and stay positive! Much aloha, friend!

I would bring them.

I've never left my children to see their dad - I figure they're entitled to that time too.

S.

Take them! And take lots of pictures of them with Daddy! It will be a long time before they see him either and this will be a fun and memorable trip for them as well and the pictures will help to keep him fresh in their minds.

Hi K.! I say take your children. After all, life is too short and unfortunately our children don't stay little very long. If you are going to some kind of resort they had child care so you and your husband can have some alone time. If not, just wait until the kids go to sleep and then go in the closet or bathroom. ha ha ha ha It will be well worth spending time as a whole family. Remember to take lots of pictures. God bless you and your whole family. I pray your husband will safely return home soon to you. Have fun!

I would take them with you on the trip. The children miss their father.

Typically I would say leave the kids with Grandma, and go enjoy your husband....however, in this case, I would take the girls. If possible I would take somebody with me to help with the girls, so hubby and I could have a little alone time here and there. Thank you to and your family for what you all do for your country. It is because of families like yours that we enjoy the freedoms we have, and I thank you for the bottom of my heart. God bless!

Hi K.!

That is a hard decision to make! I was wondering - do you think you could take someone with you and maybe get an extra hotel room for them to watch the kids in while you and your husband have some alone time? I think it might ease your mind a little in that your little ones will get to see their Daddy and will close by if they need you ;) Good luck with your decision and your trip!

C. C

Hello K.,

I think this is a decision that you should make based off of what is best for you. If you really feel strongly about bringing your girls, then I think you should bring them with you. It will give them a chance to spend some time with Daddy before he comes home in the summer... then you could consider having Grandma watch the kids this summer after Daddy has been home a couple of weeks so that you two could have some alone time.

Best Wishes,

M.

I would suggest you to take the kids. You'll enjoy spending time together with the kids and your hubby together. It's just different without the kids. It would be perfect if you can find some babysitter over there.

I would take them with you. I understand you would like to spend some time with your husband alone but you will get great joy by seeing those babies interact with your husband after them being away for so long. They need to see their daddy also as much as you do. Put them to bed early and spend your alone time with him then.

Take your kids! They miss their daddy, and I'm sure he would love to see them (whether he'll say out right or not):) Good luck!

Hi K.
I know that is a hard decision to make you would like to spend time with your husband.Maybe its just me I dont know but i believe that you all need to spend time together as a family as much as you can. Your husband will been gone for a while and the memories of you all together will help him while he is away.

If you could stay at a reliable hotel, perhaps they have a sitter where you could at least go to dinner a night or two by yourselves. I think they should see their dad!

J. G.

I too, wonder why you would consider the option of leaving your children out of quality time with their daddy.  Please do not take this decision lightly.  I do not want to sound overly dramatic, but in today's world NOTHING can be taken for granted!  These precious children need all the time with their parents as they can possibly get.  (Tomorrow may never come...for any of you...at any age.)  You stated the obvious:  1.  YOU WANT to take them, but I feel, are only waivering because friends/others have suggested not to...take them.  2.  The oldest is having a hard time because she is missing him...take them.  If she wasn't having a hard time already maybe you could consider not including her/them...take them.  3.  A whole week is NOT a "mini" vacation as you wrote...take them.  4.  You haven't prepared the youngest for that long away from you if it's only been a few hours up until now...take them...she hasn't even been away from you over night yet...for ONE night, much less several nights...take them...use the following months to prepare her for a couple of nights with Grandma during the summer visit.  This situation isn't like any other 'traveling' parent that is away and will 'be right back'...as a former military wife I truly understand your situation and no matter what Hubby's duties are, you must realize that any time with him is a gift whether he is 'State-side' or overseas somewhere...you are still young and there will be other times to "do the couple thing"...the children need to see Daddy and have his arms around them, feel his kiss on their cheeks and foreheads...take them.  Nine months is a LONG time no matter if you are 4 or 25 and lots can change in the BLINK of an eye...the youngest will already be speaking in sentences (if not already) by the time there is another opportunity!...you know from your 4 year old how fast they grow up and each phase is so precious and then it's gone...Daddy has already missed a lot of important things in the last month!...take them.  I have seen so many families have those they hold dear ripped from them without warning at various ages...also:  You seem pretty mature for 25 and love your special position in life; think about it this way:  In a much broader view, there are so many children that don't have fathers and get the opportunity to spend time with him...God gave yours a father and mother and since his time is so limited now, it is in "their best interest" to see Daddy.  (You are also very fortunate that you know the time-frame ahead of time that you will be separated!)  You two have been parents awhile and already know how to take special time for yourselves when the children have been taken care of for the day...It wouldn't be any different on a week-long "mini" vacation for you to wait until they are asleep for your quality time together as a couple...yes, you could get carried away if there weren't any little ears/eyes within close proximity and go out late at night or whatever, but when we become parents, we should assume that in cases such as this one, FAMILY should come first before any of the other stuff...Utilize Grandma for your own time to nurture yourself now, get some rest and rejuvination before the trip and then again afterward, but PLEASE take your children.  Please thank your hubby for my family and thanks also goes to you...I know it's not easy whether you are the one left behind or the one doing the leaving.  I learned a lot during my time of being a Navy wife...most don't even realize the depth of what families like yours go through during the separation time alone...just the issues of missing each other, much less the other daily responsibilities...especially on those days when just taking a shower can seem like a monumental task to complete...With all the outspoken negative society issues, it is so refreshing to hear young mothers (and I'm not ancient myself...I have a 7 year old, but I wasn't blessed with a child until I was 32 and had been married 2 months shy of 10 years) who love being a wife and mother, regardless of whether they are stay-at-home, or work outside or at home!  So many people take everything for granted; their spouse, children, careers that support their family, etc. etc...I could go on and on about that...Please forgive the length of this post...Your situation just speaks so loudly to my heart. You will be lifted up in prayer regarding this decision.  Normally, I wouldn't participate in giving an opinion in such a personal matter, but your circumstances are somewhat different than most civilians can grasp.  It is my prayer that you are a praying woman...I pray that you will receive wisdom for this decision and that you (and hubby) will still be happy with the decision you make many years from now.  Have a Blessed, safe and fun trip!

It doesn't sound like it would be much of a vacation if you're going to be constantly worried about your girls the entire time. Since your oldest is already having a difficult time, do you think leaving her would make it worse? Or do you think she would roll with it? While I think a strong marriage relationship is essential for families, I also think that children are not a hinderance to a strong marriage relationship. With your children being so young, now is the time for them to continue developing a strong bond with both their parents. If you think the girls will be fine being left with Grandma, go for it. But if you think it will make a difficult time more difficult, then take them. Since your oldest is 4 1/2, I would talk to her about it too. If you do take them with you, you will still get alone time with their dad after bedtime. You will have plenty of opportunities in the future when the kids are older to go on child-free vacations with your husband. But it also depends on how your marriage is doing. If you need the child-free time to get you through this temporary separation, then remember that your kids will survive, and at least they'll get to see dad during the summer. You and your husband are the only ones who can determine what is best for your family. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. Speaking of your husband though, I would push to get his opinion and not let him put the entire decision on your shoulders. Even though he's ok either way, I'm sure he also has a preference. And if not, then at least he can talk out the pros and cons with you. Maybe his thoughts can help you clarify your own. If you're religious, pray about it and the Spirit will guide you. If not, then go with your gut.

Do what works best for you and your family! None of us really know what that is! If it were me, I would take the children. They miss him, too. And, they are so young, once they are asleep, you will still have 1:1 time with your husband. And, when children are young, it is harder for them to "remember" Daddy as well as if they were older and had long histories tucked away in fully developed brains! But, that is me and my family. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Thank you for your sacrifice for us!

If you want to take them with you, take them! If you all have the chance to be together as a family, I would do it. If your four year old is already upset with her daddy being gone, she might be even more upset if you left as well. Wait until he comes home for the month in the summer, then have grandma watch them while you take a long weekend with your husband.

I would take them with you. If it can be arranged to stay in a condo or a suite instead of a regular hotel room that would probably be better. Usually you can get one or two bedrooms which would allow privacy for the two of you after they go to bed at night or if you get a 2 bedroom condo you could even bring grandma with you so that she can watch kids while y'all go out for some date time. If it is his mom, she would probably be thrilled to see her son also.

A couple of years ago we were given a 4 day trip to Lake Tahoe and it happened to fall on our anniversary. We decided to surprise our daughters ages 10 & 12 by taking them with us (of course other people thought we crazy). We are from Texas and our daughters had never gotten to play in snow. Our trip was in November so we knew that there was a good chance for snow. We kept teasing them that we were going to get to play in the snow and that they would be suffering back here in Texas and in school. Two days before we left, we finally let them in on the secret that they were going to get to go also. We had a great time and we all looked a little foolish to the other people staying at the condo since we were outside having snowball fights, building snowmen, and making snow angels at 6am. But those were memories that we will share for a lifetime.

If he was at home and you had a chance to get away with him, I would be the first to tell you to go for it without the kids. However since he is not at home and their time with him will be very limited for the next couple of years, they need to be with him as much as possible also. I don't think you will ever regret spending time as a family.

Thank you for the sacrifice that you and your family have made for our country. May a hedge of God's protection be around your family and your husband during this time.

You can have the best of both worlds and get a "mother's helper" during the vacation. Have some family time and also alone time. It really works!!! You get adjoining rooms for convenience.

HI K.. What about what YOU really need right now. When is the last time you have had a chance to care for yourself? Spend a little time alone away fro mids to nuture yourself as a woman, rest as a mother and just give yourself a break from being in demand 24/7 might be very refreshing and beneficial for your whole family.

You are so brave to be raising two children alone while your husband is away, but I recommend you take some time to decide what is in your best interest. Women are so conditioned (with great love) to put everyone on the top of the list above themselves and I encourage you to give this some thought.

Another alternative would be to bring your older child and leave the 1 year old with grandma. She won't remember and your job would be so much less demanding (perhaps enjoyable) if you had some time with your older child and your husband. He would have quality time with you and your oldest would remember it all and cherish it until she seems him again.

Just some thoughts. But back to YOU; really sit down and evaluate what your needs are in this situation. Self-care is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation. Audre Lord

My thought would be to bring the children...they probably miss him as much as you do. Try and put yourself in your children's situation...would you want to go see your dad? Best of luck and I hope you have a wonderful visit either alone or with the children! God bless.

Father's play a very important role in our daughter's lives. If I went without mine I am afraind my husband would think of me being selfish. Your gut is telling you to take them, don't worry about what other people might say. Trust your instincts. Unfortunately we do not know what the future holds for us. Please take your children and have the time of your lives and enjoy being a family.
It is a precious commodity!

It seems to me that you have your answer - YOU want to take them and that should be enough.......take them...you will be able to find alone time when they are sleeping........your smallest will have a hard time even remembering her father if she does not see him as much as she can.........sounds to me like you are more mature than you friends who think you cannot have an enjoyable time with you entire family......your hubby is missing out on a lot of their childhood as are the kids missing their dad.......thank him for his service for me and mine when you see him!

Have a great time!

First of all, thank you and your husband for your selfless service!

The first time leaving the kids behind you actually agonize over and then it's fine. I cried for a week before my first trip alone with my husband, so when we said our goodbys to the kids they saw that we were calm and happy and we'd be back soon... it all worked well. On the way to the airport, I cried again, but the minute we were on the plane, I was so excited! We had a great time, the kids were more than ok with Grandma, and when we came back it was wonderful! We've never regretted it because we know Grandma is the best person to watch over them while we're gone.

Good luck!

Hi,

My advice is to take the kids with you, and go on a cruise! There is lots to do for the whole family, and some cruise lines have a kids club, to watch the kids so you 2 can have alone time. My other suggestion is to go to Disney World and stay at the Shades of Green. It is a military only hotel with rooms as low as $100/night, depending on rank. You qualify for reduced price tickets to the parks as well. The Shades of Green is right next door to the Polynesian Resort Hotel right in Disney. It has 2 pools and the restaurant is very reasonable. Have fun. I took my 9 month old on a cruise several years ago and we had a ball. She was the hit of the ship. We have stayed at the Shades of Green 3 timesand loved it.

I think you should do what is best for your family. If they haven't seen Daddy in a while either, then I think I would lean toward taking them as well b/c it's probably so hard on them at those ages--esp. the 4 year old! Good luck!

Hi, K..
I can see you're really torn about leaving your kids. Let me ask you, if you decide to leave them behind and have a mini vaca w/ hubby, would you really enjoy it or be worried about your kids?

If it were me. I'd take them. As much as I would love to have some alone time w/ my husband, I would enjoy it more knowing that we would all be together. I wouldn't worry about my little one nor would I worry about withdrawals from her. Don't get me wrong, I fully believe that husband and wife need some alone time together, it's vital to a marriage. But in some cases, it may not apply.

Good luck on your decision.

Take the kids!
Every moment counts in your circumstance. It will be a blessing for your kids, make them fell more secure, meet their need to see daddy...I think you will be glad you did.
S.

If you want to take them, you should do that! Other people have no idea what works best for your family. I would definitely take mine. After all, we will get alone time when they go to sleep. The children need to see Daddy as much as Mommy does.

To the poster who said she remembers being left behind when she was 4, I had something similar. Only I was 18. We had not seen my family in Colorado in years and when I turned 18 I was driving and my mom was yelling at me about my boyfriend and job situation and I wrecked the car! So, the went on vacation to Colorado and left me behind. I was (still am) very upset about that. I had no transportation and was stuck in the house for two weeks by myself!

And then two years later they went again, but they waited until the school year began so they could take their exchange student...but not me! So I haven't been to see my family in over 10 years, but they've been there four times.

S. in Houston

I personally would take them with me.If you haven been away from them for to long you will be to worried to enjoy your time with your husband.Also if they miss daddy to it would be a great experience for all of you.I also think this is a very personal choice.just think about it and if you feel it would be better to take them dont let anyone talk you out of it you are their mom it is your choice not anyone elses.I cannot even imagine what you are going through with your husband away.You are a strong women you should be proud.Good luck with your choice.

if grandma will care for the girls, i say go for the honeymoon, life is short and its important to maintain your relationship, plus you are probably redy for some "alone" time

K.- much as I am in favor of father-daughter bonding, I have to agree with those that say leave the girls with Grandma. You are going to be under a lot of stress so you need to take care of you to help you take care of them. That being said, how about bringing a video camera and let Dad read a couple of stories to them on camera so whe your daughters are missing him, you can plug in the video and they can feel like he is close for a little while?
R.

I for one, would take them with me. I never went anywhere without my children. They are probably wanting to see dad also. You can all have a great time together as a family, and when the kids are sleeping, you can spend quality time with your husband talking and just being with each other.

First of all, I'd like to say thank you to your husband for serving, and a huge thank to you for your sacrifices as a military wife. I think that your decision for this trip has to be your own and your husband's. If it's an affordable option, maybe look into taking someone with you who can be "nanny". Nicer hotels can often arrange babysitters in your room, too. Good luck with your decision and even more so with the next couple of years.

Leave the kids with mom.

Ok, I will rock the boat with my answer. I am the wife of an Active Duty C-130 pilot who deploys from 2-4 months at a time, several times a year. I am wondering how many of the other Moms have actually been in these situations. First of all, I have three children...2,4,and 6. I would like to address a couple of issues. First of all my girls had a really hard time when their Daddy was gone, but like yours they were young the first several times. When Daddy did come home, my 2-year-old wouldn't even look at him at first, but it lasted only a few hours...both of you should be prepared for that when he finally does come home.

The other thing is that there is a great video that is free called Talk, Listen, Connect: Helping Families During Military Deployment. It is a story of how Elmo's Daddy has to go away. You can order your free copy at: https://www.militaryonesource.com just look at the left for "mind" and click it.

So the other thing to realize is that when your hubby gets back home, things are not going to be smooth between you. We call it post deployment transition. I liken it to a teeter-totter...when he leaves, you create a balance and have things a certain way...he comes back and throws things way off for a while till you both can get your balance back...this includes things like bedtime enforcement, who is going to give baths, etc. This is my point for why you should get a vacation together away from the stresses of daily life. YOu will be more likely to remember the happy week when he gets home and it may make the teetering less pronounced!

Also your kids are still young. I have a four year-old and I give her credit for understanding everything that is going on around her, but her attention span is still relatively short and she is still at a very fickle age. She should not care if she gets spoiled by Daddy or by Grandma.

I don't think I would announce that you are going to see Daddy, maybe just that you are going on a short trip and that she gets to play with Grandma...my kid experience is whether they really want to or not, they throw a fit when they are told they can't go or do something that someone else is doing. So I have no doubt that if you told her she couldnt' go see daddy, but that you were, that she would freak out about it, just not really for the reasons you think.

The last compelling reason for going alone (besides the fact that couples with kids NEVER have enough time together as COUPLES) is that your kids will have to go through another case of separation. Is it fair to them to see Daddy and then have to leave again...I think it would dredge up the past anxieties and be more detrimental.

If it is any consolation, I was five when my Mother left me with Grandma to fly to Palma Mallorca, Spain to meet my Father's ship. I had a great time with my Grandma and my Mother still talks about the trip. Also note that like us, her life got in the way and she has not been out of the country since..that was 33 years ago! Good luck, have fun and be rejuvinated so that you can shower your kids with love and attention when you get back because whether you know it or not, "single" Moms get really frazzled and need a break too.

You WANT to take your girls so take them! Don't let what other people think keep you away from doing what YOU WANT TO DO! I'm sure your husband would love to see his gurls and vice versa!

Have fun!

K.,
I would personally take the girls with you. Your husband needs to see his kids - especially since he won't see them again for 18 months. I have a 5 1/2 year old and a 3 year old and know their dad would be disappointed if he didn't get to see them every chance he gets. Hope this helps!

Personally I would take the children. Your husband has left that decission up to you, however he wants to see his children as much as they want to see him. Perhaps you can find someone that can watch the children one night so you and your husband can have a "date". That would be a perfect win/win situation for everyone! GOOD LUCK! "-)

I would take them. Kids are with us for such a short amount of time, so I feel like adults-only vacations are for later when the kids are grown up. JMO

Have fun either way! :)

i'd take the girls, they miss him too.

I would take them bc they need him as much as you do! And even though he says it is fine either way--I am sure he would be delighted to see all 3 of you!!!! Good Luck and have a great trip!

Personally, I would take them. The only time our children have been away from both of us, I was in the hospital after delivering my daughter. My husband and I have not wanted to leave our children yet.

Have you asked your 4 year old what she wants to do? That may help in the decision making process.

I think you should do what YOU want to do. I can understand others wanting you to have time alone with your hubby, but you are the one who lives with them and understands their needs best. They will only be this age once in their lives. It just struck me that your older child is 4. My parents and older sister went on a vacation to Mexico when I turned four and left me with friends. I have never forgotten that they left me on my 4th birthday! I don't hold it against them, but it really bothered me then, so the memory has remained that I felt abandoned at the time.

I am surprised this is even a question. If the kids have not seen dad since December and you guys could only see him for a week UNTIL SUMMER - why would you not take them??

Is there a babysitter or relative that can come along. If so it would be awesome to have the girls during the day and then leave them with the sitter at night. Then you could have the best of both worlds.

Would you really enjoy yourself if you left them behind? People tend to think that mom's can't relax if their kids are around. I haven't taken any trips without my kids because I would be too stressed to enjoy myself.

I have a 4 year old little girl. My husband was deployed for 15 months. We had the chance to go see him for a few days and in my opinion, I say take every chance you get for your girls to see him. It will be a breath of fresh air for both them and your husband. I feel like it would have been harder for her not to get to see him.