UPDATED Anyone Else with This Situation? (Not Even 4 Year Old off to School)

First relax. You have time to worry about all the things you mentioned.
You said she would be 3 years 8 months when she starts school. You cannot mean K. Put her in preschool and go from there. Don't worry
too much, things always fall into place.

If you are talking preschool usually they take naps in preschool. As for potty training more than likely they will want her potty trained since most daycares want it done about 2 1/2. If you know where she will be in school at contact them and see what there requirements are. That way you know exactly what they will be doing.

Are you talking about preschool or kinder? Our daughter was in a preschool program beginning at 3 years of age, and she was freshly 3. She loved it.

ETA: Has she been in preschool yet? If not, I'd start off w/ that before heading into an all-day kinder program. Then enroll her in kinder at 5.

I have Christmas baby, now 17. We never had any issues.

She went to Mother's Day out when she was about 2 and proceeded through that program until she was old enough to go to K. She started k at 5 and never had any issues.

She is an only as well, by choice, and never had social issues. When I took her to K the first day some other children were crying, some moms were crying, my daughter found her name on her desk and said BYE. Of course I was breaking inside but I wouldn't let her see that.

I promise you that you will regret sending her to school that early. You really will need to start her a year later.

Remember, just because you CAN send her doesn't mean you have to.

Oh, as to the question about having been in the situation, I was with one of my kids in a state like yours. It would have been the worse thing I could ever have done. And several kids who did go that early ended up repeating kindergarten. Doesn't sound so bad? Well, they were very disruptive to the other children and hard on the teachers. Those mothers did it because they were single moms and didn't want to pay for daycare while they were working.

Dawn

Most states require that a child entering kindergarten be 5 years old by a certain date (like Sept first). I think pre-schools start at 3 years old so your daughter would be just the right age to start.

If she is social butterfly then she will be just fine and love going and playing with other children.

Well its always best to be the oldest in your class than the youngest... those months do make a huge difference!

Im sure your thinking of pre k or 4 yr old preschool.. because they wouldn't let her go into kindergarden at that age.

She isn't going to have much of a problem going to school. It may be an adjustment at first, but Im sure she will be just fine and have so much fun!

Once she is in regular grades they will be able to tell if she is where she needs to be or if she is way advanced they will move her up a grade while in elementary school. They wanted to do that with my oldest because he was so bored but the kids that bullied him was in the grade higher than him and he didn't want to be around them all the time. Now I wish we would have because he is so bored in school he isn't even trying and just floating along.. there is no challenge for him.

I have to say - I'm happy my 2nd and 3rd children have Nov. and Dec. birthdays. We do preschool at age 4 turning 5, then Kindergarten.

My oldest has a spring birthday, and is one of the youngest in his class... most of the boys that had spring or summer birthdays waited until they were 6 to start K.

I think being the oldest is a benefit, not a hinderance.

Pre-k is not a required level of education in the USA. Kindergartners should be 5 before they start school in my opinion. If they are 4 when they start kindergarten then they are 16 or 17 when they graduate high school. They would the not legally be old enough to go to college outside of the 50 mile radius of your home, they would not be able to have an apartment or any other type of housing since they are not legally old enough to sign a contract. Nor is any university going to take on the responsibility of an underage person on campus. What if you found out the were going to beer parties every night in the dorm room next door??? The university could be sued and held liable big time. They are not very likely to take underage kids in college.

They are too young throughout their whole academic career. If they go to another school, maybe dad gets a promotion and you have to move to...say Oklahoma, where a child must be a full 5 years old to start kindergarten, before the first day of school. Your child would be a whole year younger than any other student in her class if she was put in with the same grade she was in where you are.

That is just sad. I think she needs to be a full 4 years old to go to Pre-K and then she will be 4 turning 5.

In kindergarten the next year after that she will be 5 turning 6, that will make her 17 turning 18 as a senior in high school.

Those are the normal ages of kids for most of the USA. The tendency to let kids go to kindergarten at 4 years old is silly to me. They don't have the brain function yet to do a lot of the educational requirements and need to be in pre-K.

Seems so young for kindergarten! My daughter is a November birthday and she will turn 4 this year. She is starting preschool this September and will do kindergarten the year after when she is almost 5.

I'm confused by your post as well. You have to be 5 to start Kindergarten in our district so not understanding your post all that well. If I am reading it right and they offer Kindergarten at 4 then based on her birthday she would be 4 1/2 when she starts. I feel that is too early for Kindergarten but that is just my opinion. I would wait to start her until she is 5 1/2 as she will be more mentally, socially and emotionally developed. Just because they are smart doesn't mean they are ready emotionally.

a very wise older teacher told me that she's never known waiting....not to work to the child's benefit. That young KG students may excel the 1st year or two, but then the maturity (or lack of) kicks in. By 3rd grade, the young ones are struggling.

Both of my sons started at age 6. :)

If your school district takes 4yo students, then base your decision on the KG pre-entrance assessment. Identifying your child's individual benchmarks will help you determine whether or not she's ready socially, academically, & maturity-wise.

When is your cut-off date? I just googled "kindergarten cut-off for NY" and it said Nov. 30 (I realize the Internet could be wrong). So, if she has a Dec birthday, she will miss the Nov. 30 cut-off and will actually be one of the oldest in her class the next year. I would double check the dates. We are in the midwest and our cut-off is Aug 31.

I agree with AV. We just did my 5 year old's kindergarten assessment this Tuesday, where they take the children who've already registered early individually while I sit in the guidance office so my little guy can play....they talk to him, ask him all kinds of questions....he said they wanted him to name the alphabet, numbers, he counted for them by 1s and 10s, something about patterns, sequencing, and she was pleased with his ability to sound words out and knew a lot of sight words for someone who is still 4 months from entering kindergarten. I asked what the assessment was for, and they were pretty vague, but I'm guessing they want to find children who need some extra help before the school year, and that they try to place children according to where they're at. I'd rather my children be placed in an AP class if it was needed rather than pushing them too hard, too quickly, to compete against children nearly 2 years older than her. To not even be 4 years old and in kindergarten? NO WAY.
I've never heard of a district that didn't have a specific date as a cut off: you must be this age by this date. And school comes with its own stresses, I wouldn't even consider either of my guys starting school until I knew that they had potty training, cleanliness, phone number/address/family members names, and tying their own shoes well in hand. There's a lot of abstracts in my opinion. I think a bright young girl who's a social butterfly would do great in a good preschool, or even in a homeschooling co-op. The nap thing...I do feel you on that. My 5 year old is SOUND asleep right now. I don't really like the idea of cutting that off if he needs it, but over the summer I will work on putting him to bed 15 minutes earlier......then another 15 minutes so he'll be going to bed at 8 instead of 8:30, and maybe trying to move his naps later and a little shorter. I'm guessing that if I could get his nap later, even if he still needed a little sleep, he could make it to the end of school and have a little snack and rest when he gets home. We'll see how he changes over the summer, because he'll be starting school in August, just 3 months before he turns 6. Another thing: she wouldn't necessarily be "the oldest" in class. There are lots of children who are born between August 15 and December 31. I'm not sweating that at all.

I think age should have almost nothing to do with whether a child should begin school. Two criteria should be met.

1. Are they cognitively prepared to handle school? Will they be able to understand, retain, and apply concepts taught in school?

2. Are they socially prepared and mature enough to handle school? Do they have interpersonal skills, do they understand boundaries, can they make friends? Can they handle times being still like in circle, can they stay on task, can they follow directions, can they handle transitions from one activity to the next smoothly?

If the answer to both of these is yes, a child is ready. In my opinion, if the answer to one of these questions is no then the child needs to be "red shirted" for a year to give them time to catch up with the peers they will be in class with and to insure their success in a classroom.

My daughter is 5 1/2. She missed going to K5 this year by 3 weeks. So she will be almost 6y when she officially enters the public school system. She has been attending an in-home daycare/preschool since she was 6 weeks old. She loves it and is thriving. She is SO ready to go to K5.

I will assume that you are talking about your daughter entering K4. She will be fine. Give her wings. Watch her soar. :)

Just send her to Preschool... when she is the age you are thinking about.
When I had my 2nd child, my daughter started Preschool. She was about 3.5 years old. And she WANTED to go to preschool, although she had been home with me and I am a SAHM.
A child, will naturally reach a certain juncture, of either needing to go to Preschool or wanting to go. Due to their age phase. And to socialize more with same age peers and for more stimulation and activity. So keep your eye out for that.
For me, I KNEW my daughter needed Preschool and then she started telling us she wanted to go. Even though she had been home with me and was very attached to me. But she adjusted like a champ. And loved going.

School, is about "academics" learning and about socialization learning and development of emotions and coping skills, and getting used to following direction and being in a group of kids. So it is not only, about academics.

Per naps: well my daughter always napped too. So did my son. And they both napped still, even if going to Preschool. They simply napped AFTER preschool. They attended Preschool part-time for half days. So, they still napped once they got home.

Per potty training: some Preschools accept kids in diapers, and will "train" them. Some do not. So... you need to do your research and do site visits and talk with each one, and then decide which one is best for your daughter. Some Preschools are very rigid and formal. Some are more nurturing and flexible. So, you need to discern which style, is best suited for your child. And which one your child likes.

"Maturity"... is something different than academic knowledge. Some kids are very ahead academically per their age. BUT then their maturity and socialization skills, is not ahead. So, Preschool is still very applicable for them to learn this.

2) Then, thinking ahead to Kindergarten:
In my State, Kindergarten is full days. Kids adjust just fine. Especially so if the child went to a Preschool, first.
In my State, Kindergarten is for 5 years olds or turning 5, or there are some that are turning 6.
KEEP in mind... that in some States, if a child is already 6 years old and entering school, they may place that child into 1st Grade. So, you need to ask the school, about their age placement. That is how it is in my State. But the parent, can request that their child be in Kindergarten even if they are already 6 years old.
Or... there are schools with a Pre-K class. These are for late born children. It is like Kindergarten, but for late born kids.
Then, you need to consider your child's size. Meaning, some kids are tall for their age. So if they are entering Kindergarten at 6 years old, they may be the biggest one in class. And if that bothers you/the child or not.

Lots of factors to consider.
And yes, as the Mom, you need to be ready to send your child to Preschool or school, as you see fit... or as you recognize your child's needs for leaving the nest.

I think New York has a Dec 31 kindergarden cutoff date.. so kids must be 5 by dec 31.. and your daughter bday is just before that date??

You will have to see where she is at taht point.. Too soon to tell.

I would find a 2 day a week fun preschool program for her this fall.. when she will be 2 almost 3..

then next year (fall 2013) she will go to 4 year preschool.. when she is 3 turing 4...

so after that time.. you can evaluate her and see where she is.. academic.. social.. emotional.. kindergarden is not just ABC and 123..

dont stress now.. but do plan ahead so she will be ready..

Each child is different. My second son missed the school deadline by 8 days. The school wouldn't let him in. I sent him to a private school because he was so advanced for his age. After he passed kindergarten, they still wouldn't let him in so I paid for a private school and put him in first grade. At the end of private school first grade, they still wouldn't let him in the second grade and I got really mad. When I threatened to sue, they relented and said if he could pass the tests for 2nd grade they would let him in second grade.

After he took their tests they didn't want to put him in second grade. They wanted to put him in 3rd grade and they said maybe in the 4th grade, but he would have to take the 4th grade tests. I told the principal and superintendant that 2nd grade would be just fine. Idiotic beaurocrats. FYI, He ended up graduating as the validictorian, #1 in his high school.

Putting your child in pre-kindergarten is completely unnecessary. When your daughter is ready for kindergarten, then have her tested to see where she should be. Testing is probably unnecessary. You should be able to tell. And if they aren't real far advanced, don't worry about it.

Good luck to you and yours.

To me, an all-day kinder program at four sound like too much, personally. As a preschool teacher, when I had a half day morning program, it was clear that even the four year olds were 'done' by the time the adults came to pick up.

Might I suggest a quality play-school or preschool program with a focus on social growth and development? Being intellectually advanced at a young age is fine, however, the social development piece is of critical importance to a successful and satisfying school career over time. Preschools often have a good balance of mostly child-chosen/adult-led activity, so she can pursue the things which interest her. It's likely that the fours K class will be more structured, so a half-day program first would be a good step up.

Double check with the school district, they almost always have a cut off birthday date to start kindergarten, they usually want them to be five by the end of September.
You may be confusing preK with K? I've NEVER heard of a K class of 4 year olds.
Like I said, check with the district :)

Both of my children were born in December. When the other children in my daughter's Kinder class was just turning 5, she was about to turn 6.

I always thought my daughter was brighter than most, but when she got into Kindergarten I realized she has the same amount of smarts as the other kids. In my district, they had nap time for the first month or so, then they stopped. She is also in full-time Kindergarten. Does your district have Kindergarten 4 (4 year olds) and Kindergarten 5 (5 year olds)? When is the cut off? To tell you the truth, if she was younger she would have had a harder time, I think.

I stay home also, and my daughter was home with me and her younger brother as well, but she was soooo over being at home all day. When we went for orientation, that really did it. She was ready to go to school. She never, ever had a problem; it was me with the problem of not wanting to let go!

I thought I was going to have a breakdown when my daughter went to school. Now I can't wait to get her butt on the bus, and she can't either! It'll be fine!

I have never heard of "Kindergarten 4" but unless you are required by law to send your child -- I wouldn't. She won't even BE four. If she is used to being home with you and has not yet been to any kind of even part-time preschool setting, please do that first; sending her at that age right into full-day school will be physically exhausting for her, as well as stressful. Preschool, on a schedule that gives a child a few half-days a week, is a great option for easing a child into the structure of "school" more gradually and gently. What's the rush for full-day K at only four? She may be a social butterfly, as you note, but she still is very young and needs down time and solo time each day, and starting full-day K at not-even-4 will deny her the chance to have that down time, and that gradual introduction to school settings, during an important time for her to be growing and developing.

I am not even a fan of full-day K for five-year-olds, many of whom find it just so exhausting and taxing that they melt down or have little energy left for anything else (that's been friends' experience -- fortunately, my child was in the last year of half-day K here before they mandated full-day, and though kids may cover more on a curriculum in full-day K, they do not necessarily LEARN more in that time!).

You may not have a choice. If you are talking about a PUBLIC school, she will have to BE the age required for the class. Most school systems have cut offs of September 1 or at latest December 2.

My son's birthday is 1st week in January. He is very tall for his age (actually tall for a year older), was a fluent reader at 3, verbally advanced, did math in his head bla bla bla. He went to kindergarten THIS school year at 5, turned 6 just like he was supposed to, does fine, and ISN'T bored. School (at that age) is as much about learning to socialize and be part of a larger group as it is about learning ABCs and 123s.

Your daughter will NOT be the oldest child in her class (and really, who cares if she is? SOMEONE will be the oldest in ANY class unless they all have the exact same birthday). There will other December kids, and some November, October and September babies as well.

Relax.

HTH
T.

My daughter was born December 12. She has been in pre-school since she was 2. Starting this August, she will go to pre-school 4 mornings a week. She will turn 5 this December. She'll start kindergarten in a year and will turn 6 halfway through the school year.

I was 4 when I started and to this day (I am 34 now) wish that my parents had held me back. I was shy, not very mature, never felt like I fit in, I could go on and on.........

Oh - and I will say - I have a 5 year old son that even had he made the cut off date for this year I would NOT have put him in kindergarten yet. He is academically VERY smart but he is immature in social skills and other areas.

I would find a 1/2 day 4K and start here there. Then next year go into full 5K

Our 4 year old kindergarten you MUST be 4 to start. There is no starting early. I would double check with the school to see if they have a birthday cut off. (Ours is Sept 1 - so even if your child turns 4 on Sept 2, they are not allowed to start.)

If it was my child, I would hold her back. They do a lot of maturing between 3 and 4 and I'd for her to be socially stunted.

Most districts have a date by which the child MUST be 5 to start school. She likely won't make it so this won't be an issue. She'll just go the next year.

My stepson is a late Dec. baby. He absolutely did not make the cut off to start the year he turned 5. He went when he was almost 6. He was fine. I would rather send my child a little later than a little earlier.

Remember, she will not be the only December kid in her class and if you think she needs to attend some sort of school, put her in other classes, like an extra year of preschool. Many preschools have classes with older 4s or young 5s in them. I wouldn't borrow trouble. My SS is smart and took advanced classes all the way through and graduated with more AP credits than we ever imagined he could handle. I would work with her IF she becomes bored, but not push her to be the youngest in her class.

RE: Preschool - ask around. Ours would take a 3 in pull ups but by 4 they need to be fully trained. There may be more options than you think. I would enroll her in PT preschool a few days a week around 3/4 yrs old if you want to give her a school environment. My DD will be going PT in the fall as a 4 yr old and will be home before any afternoon nap is a consideration.

Our school here requires the child be 100% potty trained. I had a December baby....and never a problem...in fact he went to a first grade reading group everyday, and always ahead of his classmates. So what you teach them before they begin...really has an impact.