Hi Mamas
Just writing to give you an update on a recent post.
We moved our son to another creche.He is now in a class with his age group.He is fitting in extremely well and the teachers have commented on what a happy well adjusted boy he is.
We made an offical complaint to his former creche and had a meeting with the directors.
We did not mention race because we felt we had enough other evidence without it.
We were offered an offical apology and repayment of his fees since he turned three.They also offered him a place at the Montessori which we turned down.
I am so proud that we stood up for our son and delighted that we moved him.
I wish to thank 15 women that gave me wonderful support through this difficut times.May good things happen for all of you for sending such good support to me.
As for the few very negative responses that I got I feel I need to respond also.Why are some women on this site so hurtful?
To question why am I starting discrimination battles? and that I WILL make my son feel discriminated against is a way out of line.I am teaching the opposite,to show him that his parents are strong and will stand up when needed.
Also another mother telling me to get a grip because I am expressing that I am traumatised.I have a degree in psychology and one of the most valuable things that I learned is that the most sane of people are those that express their true feelings.I was telling you Mamas how I was feeling inside.Obviously I wasn't in the outside world going around crying etc. Of course I was going to be traumatised,my son was not being treated fairly.Any good mother would feel deeply,to their core for their child !!!
To say that I am using Racial Discrimination as an excuse! How dare you !! Ask your black friends(if you have any!) their personal stories. Of course it exists! Why do we have many organisations around the world (too many to mention) that are fighting everyday for equality in our society.?
Thanks again Mamas for the support
x B.
i didnt see your previous post. but im glad to hear your son is doing better. i think you were right to stand up for your son. i know i would do it for my daughter. race means nothing when it comes to disscrimination it happens to everyone sooner or later.
I am so glad that things worked out for you! It's very sad, but anyone that thinks descrimination doesn't exist is living in a fantasy world, is in denial, or has no diversity in their social circle. In the neighborhood I live in, it's pretty diverse, but if you go to the next town up, which is supposedly a slightly better income level, you will get pulled over for no reason if you are a non-white. I've heard this referred to as DWB or Driving While Brown. My former babysitter has this happen all the time because she lives in this town. It sucks. Good for you and your family :)
Good job for getting your child into a place that would be caring and supportive. But super good of you for persuing things with the former pre-school -- You could so easily have walked away and said, "That's not my problem anymore". But because you followed through, perhaps you helped ensure this doesn't happen to another family.
So glad to hear about the good outcome. I did think some of the comments were out of line. People would like to be "color blind" but we have to be aware that discrimination exists, whether it's racism or other prejudices, if we are going to overcome it and make a difference. You did the right thing to stand up for your son!
I am glad that you were able to move your son to a place that is receptive to him and allows him to be a person and individual. I also applaud you for being so strong.
People of color regardless of what is said in this day and age DO have to deal with discrimination. Much of it is under the table or subtle but it is still there. So please all of you who think that the world is a rosey place for all it is not. Yes, you should find a person of color and befriend them it may open your eyes to see the world from a different point of view.
Once again, you did well.
The other S.
Good job, Mom!!! Well done!!!
So glad you stuck with your instincts and your son is in a better situation! I read your previous post and one can hope they were just covering up for a mistake but you are there in your community and have a better sense of what may have been happening so for others to question that seems odd. I have the sense the discrimination will always have to be fought against (atleast in my lifetime) and of course those that are victims of it would/will be traumatized!
.
I just saw your previous post. I am so glad you found a place where your son can thrive.
As for the original comments you addressed, some people never want to believe anything is real if
a) it doesn't touch them and/or
b) it makes them uncomfortable
I don't even know you and I am proud of you!
Greetings B.,
Well said!! Having 5 children and having raised many foster children of many cultures I enjoyed it when someone asked " is this your baby?" All children are special and need treated well, as they are not skilled at fighting for themselves we as "MAMA BEAR" need to take care of business so the children have safe,secure, peaceful places to learn and grow in. As I do have friends that are black and some American and some Nigerian it is interesting that they differ as to the amount of discrimation they have seen, and believes exsists.. Keep at it mom the most important job you will have is as a parent and the only title that will still be with you 100 years from now.
