S.T.
I hope your current doctor is not the same one as you had with the first baby. Sounds like poor decisions on his/her part.
I realize you are eager to ahve a normal vaginal delivery - but can you not schedule a c-section? My first child was a vaginal delivery - pretty quick - no epidural or pain medication of any kind. It was a godo delivery and a quick recovery. My second child was an emergency c-section. He was too large (22.5 inches & 10 lbs) and his neck was bent all the way back with his chin presenting. IN order to save his spine and my rectum I had a c-section. It *was* a longer recovery. But baby and I were both healthy. Had I know he'd be a difficult delivery I'd have opted for a c-section ahead of time.
I would think that since you've had two non-routine deliveries you'd be a candidate for a c-section. This is the 21st centure - we have modern medical technology that allows for health babies and trauma-free deliveries. There is no better or best way to deliver you child. 100 years ago childbirth was the leading cause of death among women in that age group. It wan't uncommon for babies to die too. Let's forget about what we imagine as "the ideal" and go for waht gives us the best chance of a smooth and healty delivery for all.
All the best mama!