My daughter is a new big sister and she is doing a wonderful job in her new role! She loves her six-week old brother and her two and a half year old behavior problems have actually improved since he was born. HOWEVER, one issue we are having is a sleeping issue. We moved her to a big girl bed almost a year ago. She never had a problem transitioning and only occasionally woke during the night and came to our bed. On the nights she awoke we'd let her stay if it was storming or their were other obvious disturbances, or we'd return her to bed with only minor issues at times. Well, from the time we brought the new baby home from the hospital, she has come into our bed every night at 1:30am. A couple times we have tried to return her to her own bed, but it never works and we end up losing more sleep than we are already losing with the baby's nighttime waking and feedings. I don't really mind letting her sleep with us (it only occasionally results in my husband ending up on the couch), but I know she isn't sleeping well with the baby's wakings and, on principle alone, I want her to be happy and comfortable in her own bed all night long. Does anyone have any gentle suggestions for dealing with this issue? I don't want to have battles in the middle of the night because it will just make me a lousy parent during the day.
L.-
Try a fan.
Sometimes a little white noise will help soothe out the rest of the world and will let her get some sleep. I have a 12-old, 11-year-old, and 8-year-old and from the time that they were born, I have had a fan in their room. It just seems to drown out the noise around them and helps them get into a deeper sleep, and helps them stay asleep longer.
Let me know if this helps.
L.
I don't have experience in this area because my little boy is only 9 months old and has no older brothers or sisters. I do read a lot of magazines about this type of thing so I'll give it a shot. I would take her back to bed myself and perhaps read her a story or rub her back until she fell asleep. It might take a few days for her to get used to it but she will realize eventually that she won't be able to sleep with mom and dad anymore and will stay in her bed. If she's still coming to your room after a few nights try sending her back alone so she's not depending on mommy putting her back to sleep every night. I would also try and explain to her why she needs to sleep in her own room. You know the whole you're a big girl and big girls sleep in their own bed and that she's not getting all the sleep she needs because of the baby waking up....etc. Kids do understand more than we think they do and explaining this to her might help. Good luck!
maybe your husband could go sleep in her bed with her, since he is already moving. worked for us! check out the no cry sleep solution for toddlers by elizabeth pantley. wonderful book, with tons of gentle suggestions.
You could try reading Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". You as the parent are in charge of setting up and abiding by a sleep routine. Changing the routine (from allowing co-sleeping to requiring her to sleep in her bed) will result in short-term misery but long-term benefits. It's a really helpful book and it helped me a lot with our first child. It's hard to be firm because I hate hearing him cry and I feel like a rotten mother, but then my mother told me recently that "good parents are mean; bad parents are cruel." And being firm is short-term unpleasant but brings about the desired long-term results, and my son is one of the happiest and calmest kids you ever met. (Brag, brag.)
John Rosemond's "Making the 'Terrible' Twos Terrific!" may also have some helpful ideas.
Sympathy on the colic. No fun. Hang in there!
quick, get The No-cry Sleep SOlution! It's marvelous. I've been using only a few of the author's tips for a couple of days and it has already vastly improved our sleep issues with my 6-month old (she has tips for children of all ages).
L.
We don't have this issue, but one spot of advice for good sleeping anyway. Have you tried a sleep sounds machine? We have one for our 3 YO DD and I think it helps keep her sleeping by masking other noises. She listens to the ocean (I turn it on at lights out with her music CD and it stays on all night). When it broke (and the first time we traveled w/o it) it was a nightmare of waking all night. I recently bought a new one at Khols and really like it.
Maybe it would help? Good luck...
Can you buy her a new baby doll so she can play like it's her baby? She can let IT sleep in the bed with her. She would need to lay down with her baby and not get up. Little girls love to play mommie. If you get the chance, tell her that you can nap with her in her bed so you get that good time for sleeping together. Your room is for mommy and daddy.
We have 3 children(5,4,&2) and the new baby is due ANY SECOND! We have this "prob" w/ the 5yr old and the 2 yr old-almost everynight..lol..well,my hubby welcomes the boys into our bed,lol,he likes cuddling w/ them,but, I want it to stop before the new baby gets here because he will be in here sleeping in our room for awhile and I don't want them to wake him.So,ok-I dunno how u feel about tv for ur toddler,(of course,everybody's different)but,for us,we don't mind it as long as we know what they're watching....I put a clock radio in the toddlers' room and if he gets up again after I've already put him back in his bed then I turn it on for him and he likes the music.Then,every so once in a while,I will walk the boys to the den and we grab the pillows and their blankets and I turn the tv on for them to one of their fav shows(you'd be surprised what all is on @ 3am!-lol).We make a quick little "bed" for them on the couch,make sure all of the lights r off and turn the volume down to a low whir...the glow of the tv and the comfort of "something cozy" on the couch is sometimes just what they needed....usually by the time I use the bathroom and get a sip of water,they're sound asleep and I can turn the tv off and go back to bed!
We just went through this with our almost-three-year-old. We have a baby on the way in 4 weeks and he has come in our room around 4:30 every night. He was exhausted, we were exhausted, got angry with him, etc. We went back to the bedtime routine. I realized we were putting in too many variables-too many choices and options. He gets a bath really close to bedtime, plays a couple minutes, brushes teeth, reads stories, gets warm chocolate milk and kisses, rockabye baby and asleep. No sleeping on the couch, coming in bed, different drinks, nothing. He has slept really well the past two nights. And we are now all in better moods. She may also be feeling jealous that the baby can stay in your bed. Explain in a way that doesn't make her feel even more jealous of the baby. Maybe it's time for a new special 'lovie'-build-a-bear or something that she can get after 3 nights in her own bed. Just an idea. If she has a 'baby' in her own bed, maybe she won't want to come into yours. But this should be a reward! Good luck.
