Unusual 3 Year Old Behavior

hi,
i feel ur pain. my daughter is the same way and she does have severe sensory issues and is blind. She is also 3 and has gotten better with time..but she also has a screaming crying fit if someone els handles her, or if she is in a new environment. Little ones dont know how to express themselves very good..and if the sensory part is off they cant input what they are feeling. children with sensory issues love swings. We rig an outdoor swing in our doorway, so when nothing is consoling her...she goes in the swing and she loves it. we also have to put her in the jumper if were really having a bad day..luckily she still small enough to go in it...but all those movements helped them organize their senses. when he is having a fit try rocking him in ur arms holding him tightly and singing. I literally squeeze my daughter and sing to her...she automatically stops screaming....i've taught everyone else whom handles her to do it also....her therapist do the same thing. read up on sensory dysfunction, its pretty common....let me give u some advice as a parent of a disabled child and a teacher...read and educate u're self on everything out there regarding sensory issues...autism is extremely over diagnosed and many children are getting wrongly diagnosed. I've been told many negative things about my girls..they were premature twins born 4 mths early...I was told my girls had brain damage, werent gonna walk,talk ..blah blah blah....one baby does have issues, major developmental delays speech and mobility..but its mostly due to the blindness ...my other daughter is in preschool at a 5yr old level. get your son assessed by a developmental dr. at the assessment there should be a physical therapist, speech therapist and occupational therapist. they will all evaluate him and conclude there findings. if you feel their evals are not correct DO NOT HESTITATE TO GO SOMEWHER ELSE..there are specialized pre schools whom will offer service for u're child..it's the law they have to provide...my little one has homebound services at the moment...but hopefully next year she can attend....hang in there ..im also a stay at home mom and my husband doesnt like dealing with the medical issues that go on...so since my girls have been home..i learned to grow some tough skin and do everything by myslef...hope the info helps...good luck and take care

Trust your instincts. I was in the same situation and I kept thinking my daughter would just grow out of it. She is now 8 and I wish I had done something sooner, because this last summer was really tough on our whole family and we ended up having to put her in a psychiatric day program at a hospital in order to get anyone to help us.

Someone really great to do testing is Dr. Michael Appleby. He has offices downtown in Chicago and in Hinsdale as well. He is a neuro-psychologist and specializes in working with autism spectrum children. They can test through play, etc and tell you how your child learns best, etc. I would highly recommend it.

I would not push anything on him that makes him uncomfortable at this point. I know it is exhausting, but find a therapist you're comfortable with and maybe even an occupational therapist who can help you to help him.

If you even need to talk, just send me a message. I was a single mom with a child like this and I know it can be exhausting!! One other thing that helped us is diet. We discovered that food coloring really affected behavior and now we are on the Feingold program, which basically eliminates salicylates (foods that mimic aspirin) and anything artificial (preservatives, flavorings, colors, etc)

M.

If you have suspicions that something is going by all means follow your instincts and take him to a specialist. My son was a very difficult toddler and there were days I wanted to pull my hair out. He didn't have tantrums quite to the extent you were talking about but every day was a struggle. He luckily grew out of it and is a well adjusted 8 year old who does wonderful at school and people are in disbelief when I talk about he difficult he was. I am not sure what the turn around was but I wanted to assure you there is hope. I don't really have advice I just want you to know you aren't alone in your feelings. Kids can be so different so don't try to compare them to someone else's child. My daughter is now 3 and is the easist child ever. Good Luck!

As a former sp. ed. teacher, not SAHM, I saw this with a lot of parents. It is hard to think or even admit that your child could have something wrong. Since he is 3 and his language, even though it is a large spectrum, you do have some room for concern. Good for you that you are going in to have it checked out. The sooner the better in long run. Good Luck to you! If you have any questions pertaining to diagnosis or what to do about school, please feel free to email me at ____@____.com.

Contact your school district and schedule a "preschool screening." It is free and might give you some insight and he may even qualify to attend preschool through your school district which is of no cost to you and full of professionals who can help you figure out what is going on. In the mean time, relax...everything will work itself out in the end. : )

Please don't blame yourself, every child is their own person. My now 5.5 year old son was exactly like your son it seemed. I socialized him a ton, and it didn't help any. He is who he is and you can't change that. My son had bad separation anxiety from infancy. He had a speech delay, and when he was 3.5 years old he qualified for the public preschool for speech delay. They were the only people that were willing to work with me and his separation anxiety. They'd pry him off my leg and he would cry for the entire 2.5 hours for the first 2 months. Then, he started getting better. It was very hard for me, but I was so thankful that someone was willing to help me and our son get through this. He did ok at school, but would still cry if I left him anywhere else. The following summer I enrolled him in day care one day a week so I wouldn't loose the momentum we had gained from school. He didn't cry, but didn't really like it either. The following year, he loved school. It depended on the class as to whether he would cry or not. And sitters, he is just now to the point where we can leave him with one. Many people had their comments about how I wasn't socializing him enough, but I had him in so many different classes, playgroups, library groups, etc. It didn't help, he would still cry if I left. Finding someone to deal with that is next to impossible. I can't say I blame them. Anyway, don't blame yourself on this. I have come to realize that our kids are their own people and their personalities may seem odd, but it's just them. You can try to change them, but it won't work and it will just stress out both of you. I try to help my son with social situations as he isn't very good at it. I rehearse with him what to say to other kids, etc before we go to playdates, etc. So, get him evaluated and express your concerns to the school system. My son just had a speech delay, and caught up quickly. He doesn't have autism or anything, but at times I wondered too. Now that he is older, I don't wonder at all. I just think he is a harder one to parent because he is so sensitive. Preschool helped a ton, but there is always something with him it seems. Hang in there, he will get better. Hopefully the public school system can help with preschool.

My daughter was like this from about 12 mos till 30 mos old. I had the most awesome babysitter (I used to be the girl's nanny) and she would just ignore the screaming/crying the whole time she was here. She knew nothing was wrong so she just rolled with it. At about 20 mos I started leaving more often so that Elise would get more used to me not being always there, and by 27 mos I was leaving her with Daddy at least 4 hours a week just to get her over this. By 30 mos it was over with.

I think he is FINE just emotional and getting what he wants by crying. You need to show him that you will return and that crying has nothing to do with your return. The more you leave the better his crying will become.
N.